I love this thread! It's so entertaining. I've thought of a couple more.
A sister believed you would be resurrected doing exactly the same thing that you died doing. 'So, if you die sword fighting,' she explained. 'You will be resurrected doing just that.' I was a kid at the time and I remember thinking what if you die at sea?
An elder advising a sister who had a daughter in school studying English literature. 'You must not allow her to study Shakespeare, especially Romeo and Juliet. It's immoral.'