* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. - But one single fart contains the same energy.
* The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet. - Moral of the story: Pumping organs will cause them to squirt.
* On average people fear spiders more than they do death. - Spiders, however, fear death more than they do themselves.
* The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. - It is also the one that tastes best.
* It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. - This is an urban legend! Tell that to the man whose glass eye pops out every time he sneezes.
* Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. - Because of this, John Deere has announced the introduction of their new pizza tractor for 2004.
* Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider? - This explains why poisonous spiders do not drink champagne.
* Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. - "If thy hand offends thee, lop it off." - Lucifer 18:49 (NWT)
* In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. - Ancient Egyptian priests were the forerunners of the Queer Eye makeover.
* The act of snapping one's fingers is called a "fillip". - In other cultures, it is called a "filler-up".
* The dot on top of the letter 'i' is called a tittle. - The cross on a letter "t" is called a "Nesbitt".
* Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands when typing. - The shortest word is "ox".
* Any number, squared, is equal to one more than the numbers on either side of it -- 4x6 is 24, 5x5 is 25 etc. - Any square numbered is equivalent in IQ to the idiot sitting on either side of you.
* A "hairbreadth away" is 1/48 of an inch. - Enjoying only 1/48 of your day is called having a "bad hairbreadth day".
* The word four has four letters. In the English language there is no other number whose number of letters is equal to its value. - The word fore has four letters. In the English language there is no other word whose meaning is equal to the pain caused when the golf ball hits you on the head.
* The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache. - What is not commonly known is that the queen of spades has a little moustache problem herself.
* No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half. - No telephone directory can be folded even once.
* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. - Crocodiles are not rude.
* The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. - Ant intoxication is illegal in 37 states.
* Polar bears are left handed. - Polar bears live 9 fewer years than their right-handed cousin, the grizzly.
* The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. - Catfish likely evolved so many taste buds because they cannot taste themselves.
* The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field. - The NFL is currently conducting scientific studies on how to grow human-size fleas.
* Butterflies taste with their feet. - Dr. Scholls is currently developing inner soles made of butterfly parts for a finer dining experience.
* Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. - Elephants, therefore, are disqualified from playing on most basketball teams.
* A cat's urine glows under a black light. - Military scientists are currently working on a way to extract radioactive cat urine from kitty litter for use in nuclear devices.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. - This explains why so many ostriches read The Watchtower.
* Cockroaches can change course as many as 25 times in one second, making them the most nimble animals known. - This proves that most cockroaches are lost and don't know which direction to go.
* Mosquitoes do not bite. They stab. A mosquito has no jaws, hence when attacking a victim, it pierces it with its long proboscis and sucks the blood up through it's nasal tube. - Mosquitos are the inventors of the switchblade and introvenous tube.
* Starfishes haven't got brains. - But, according to 9 out of 10 catfish, they sure taste great!
* Ostriches live about 75 years and can reproduce for 50 years. - Nursing homes and other facilities for the elderly are becoming overcrowded with aging ostriches.
* Some breeds of vultures can fly at altitudes as high as 36,900 feet. - Many vultures are seen splattered on the windshields of 747s.
* The skin of the armpits can harbor up to 516,000 bacteria per square inch, while drier areas, such as the forearms, have only about 13,000 bacteria per square inch on them. - Petree dishes are made from dead armpit skin.
* The most destructive disease is malaria. More than 1.5 million people die from malaria every year. - The only thing that kills more people than malaria is flying champagne corks.
* A light year is 5,865,696,000,000 miles or about 9,460,800,000,000 kilometers. A light nanosecond is the distance light can travel in a billionth of a second and is 1 foot or about 30 cm. - A dog year is equivalent to 7.625893001 human years.
* INTERCHANGEABILITY contains the words THREE, EIGHT, NINE, TEN, THIRTEEN, THIRTY, THIRTY-NINE, EIGHTY, EIGHTY-NINE, NINETY, and NINETY-EIGHT. - It does not contain the word "Nesbitt".
* One thousand contains the letter A, but none of the words from one to nine hundred ninety-nine has an A. - Two other words that contain the letter A are "amoral" and "asexual".
* Some words with horizontal symmetry (they reflect themselves across a horizontal line) are: BEDECKED, BOOHOOED, CEBID (a type of monkey), CHECKBOOK, CHOICE, CODEBOOK, COOKBOOK, DECIDED, DIOXIDE, DOBCHICK, EXCEEDED, HIDE, HOODOOED, ICEBOX, KEBOBBED, OBOE, OKEECHOBEE. - Horizontal symmetry can also be attained by drinking large quantities of whiskey.
* Some words with vertical symmetry are MOM, WOW, OTTO, MAAM, MA'AM, TOOT, AHA, AA, AHA, AIA, AMA, AVA, AWA, HAH, HOH, HUH, MAM, MIM, MM, MUM, OHO, OO, OXO, TAT, TIT, TOT, TUT, UTU, VAV, WAW. - these are also the call letters of 100 milliwatt radio stations on tiny islands in the South Pacific.
* A mile on the ocean and a mile on land are not the same distance. On the ocean, a nautical mile measures 6,080 feet. A land or statute mile is 5,280 feet. - In Stephen King's novel, the Green Mile is less than 400 feet.
