I have given 100's of public prayers. Field service, CO visit, WT. Now that I am awake I have one last prayer that I have been waiting to say to provoke a response and to tell everyone that I am out. Here it goes.
Our loving invisible father in the heavens,
we humbly come before your almighty invisibility
to thank you, for everything even the things we did not ask for, like this life full of suffering and misery
so that you could prove to the universe your sovereignty.
We are so thankful that you chose to communicate through a book written by dozens of nomadic
goat herders and other illiterate men, stories of your great invisible power, which make no sense to us pitiful
worthless humans of dirt and dust. What are we but little grains of sand in your great sandbox to play with
like toys, to manipulate, to use as pawns to prove you alone are the almighty, because the 1st one thousand
years of human suffering did not prove it you needed to go on for another 5000 years. But we KNOW the end
is so close this time. We just KNOW IT!
Jehovah we thank you that only WE, the cult known as Jehovah's Witnesses know your true name. Nobody
else knows it like us and that makes us feel special. It gives us a special feeling to know that the greatest
invisible power of the universe loves us. You could be using rocks to preach but instead give us this pitiful job.
And Jehovah, we can't thank you enough for making all the delicious animals for us to eat. In your almighty
foreknowledge, you knew that we would just love to eat meat, especially bacon which is why you banned
it at first but then changed your mind because you made those dirty filthy pigs clean again like you made us
clean again! Oh Jehovah! The heavens cry out with your glory and honor!
Please continue to bless YOUR ONLY organization. Please help the preaching work continue, or at the very
least help your servants, your ONLY servants to reproduce faster so that your ONLY organization can at least
keep up with the population growth of the earth at 1.8%. Then we pray that you give us the reproductive
prowess of the Muslims who are increasing at a rate 250 times faster than your ONLY organization. We can't
let Satan win! We say this through your son, Jesus Christ, who died on a cross for us, AMEN!