@Snowbird,
Yep, I see why you were a good target. Don't be so hard on yourself...that's who the org. preys on...the more depressed you are the more you are a return visit.....they don't return visit on well adjusted balanced folks...I noticed that when I started talking to the friends one by one...their home life was something to be desired....even when I started going the hall, I noticed many of the family members didn't sit with one another, so you better not talk about anybody because you don't know who is related....
I'm happy you are out...hope you are doing well...your past is your past...I once heard this....you may not be where you need to be but you sure are not where you used to be....we have a choice in life...you have left the org...live, breath, don't blame anyone or anything anymore....those are just crutches....
One day, I'd like to be free of the org....but I have made some nice conditional friends, so that's my rub...but one day Snow bird one day, I'll be on this site...saying I'm free at last Great God Almighty, I'm free at last (from the org.) and I can be a real Christian and help where I feel needed, be it a soup kitchen, or in a hospital, but to be able to give back what God has given me....not just knock on doors week after week but to do something, even if it's not that much...
Tor