Posts by sinboi

41

My Mothers Ultimate Rejection

by What Now? in

i went into my mother's office to leave her a small note to say that we love and miss her and would love to get together.

i found this on her desk.

this is jehovah's witnesses.

sinboi

I am new here. I understand and share your pain. Please be strong!

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

deegee -Why are you right and they wrong?

Very good question. I thought about it for over 30 mins. Here is my answer :

I was told since birth that it is the word of god. For 16 years, nobody has proven to me it is not.

OK. The words above pass the audit. I think I have misunderstood your intention earlier. I thought you wanted to belittle me for being a fool in believing that the Bible is the word of God.I have got myself heated up. If we were to be talking face2face, it would result in an argument, maybe even a fight. Luckily I pause before hitting the post button.

I read your previous posts and know your intention is good. Your intention is to question my definition of 'sin'. Sin against who? God? How I know I will be sinning against God? The Bible. How u know the bible is from God?

Come on. I have been out for less than 3 months. You cannot expect me to forget everything I learn for the past 16 years in less than 3 months. Do you? Give me time please...

I am using the Bible to throw out all the wt rubbish. But many are stubbornly stuck in my brain. Just like last nite. Maybe it was late and I was extremely tired. When I read Honest post, I thought the devil is speaking. Don't know why I associate Honest "It is not a sin" to the serpent's words to Eve "You will not die". It scared the hell out of me and I nearly wanted to wake up my dad. Only in the morning did I realise it was the wt words " The devil is waiting to devour those leaving Jehovah's Organization" that have caused me to react that way. I have thrown out these words from my conscious mind but it is still staying in my subconscious..

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

punkofnice - What is your first language? Where are you from?

Thanks for your comment and link to jwfacts. I knew of this site and have visited it several times.

My 1st language is English. I am from Asia. Sorry, can't disclose my exact country. There are not many JWs here. They can easily find out who I am (dA/d 3 mths ago, age 16). They will then pressure my dad to kick me out of the house for visiting "apostates" sites.

Smiddy3- Obviously you are under the misguided belief that everybody who leaves the JW religion is going to embark on an orgy of sin and depravity .

No, I strongly disagree with that. I wanted to experiment with sex solely due to the physical needs of my body and peer pressure from my friends. Even while I was a JW, I masturbated daily thinking about sex. I have known several ex JWs who live a godly way of life. Some of them join the churches and one switch to buddhism.

JWs are a white washed grave. Many of them are just a bunch of self rightous ppl.

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

Thanks Old Navy for your info and advice.

I have always wanted to join the uniform group. I think I will feel smart and proud in uniform. But I was not able to join any uniform group bcos I was in the wt prison. Just last week, I was watching a parade at school. Feel really depressed. If not for the wt, I could be the one conducting the parade.

Regarding the military issue, I think I have adjusted my thinking. One of the commandments is 'Thou Shall Not kill' but the Israelites still go to battle, killing many people. As for bayonet fighting, if I need to defend myself, my family and friends, I don't think I will hesitate to kill.

Again, you guys keep on telling me go slow, take baby steps. There don't seem to be any sense of urgency in this forum. But on you tube, and among my christian friends, they are so excited about Rev 12 and september 23rd. Sun darken, moon blood red and now the sign in Rev 12. It was a surprise to me that this was not discussed over here .

Okay..okay..even if you guys have refuted the Bible and the war of Armagedon, what about man made end of the world? From how I see it, world war 3 may break out soon. A nuclear winter may result. Want me to take baby steps? No way! I don't want my life to end with my genitals in good condition but unused! Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist for my obsession with my genitals and sex...

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

Deegee
Do you believe any of the following Holy Books is the word of god?
Tanakh, Talmud, Torah, Vedic Scriptures, Bhagavad Gita, Quran (Koran), Hadith, Avesta

Quran - for muslim. It is the most evil religious book , telling believers to chop off heads of non-believer.

Torah - for the Jews

Talmud - ever heard the name. Don't know who use it.

The rest I have never heard of. I believe that the word of god should be accessible to most people, if not all.

Cofty- What do you mean by sexual immorality? Fidelity within a committed relationship is a good thing. But what about sex for single people? Who says sex between consenting adults is a "sin"? Why?

Sorry Cofty, I won't defend the wt. But I need to defend the bible. He is our creator and does he not has the right to lay down rules and regulations for us? A father has the right to lay down rules for his children. Doesn't he?

I still think that sex b4 marriage is a sin against God. But I still want to try it .

Now regarding sex parties. I found that extremely disgusting. A guy showed me a photo of them at the party. I find it disgusting but yet I go home masturbated thinking about it. But I know I will leave if that is happening right b4 my eyes...

honest - There are no sins. There is criminal behaviour and activity but no sins. The concept of sin was made up to keep us captive.

Do you know my immediate reaction when I read what you say? My heart was pounding fast and I wanted to run back to the wt prison. Your words really echo what the serpent said to Eve...Do you know what vision I have in my mind? Me escaping from the wt prison... Devil waiting for me outside. I literally turn off my pc, heart pounding and go to bed. Wanted to pray but didn't. He won't care about me anyway.

But I woke up in the morning, more daring cos it's daytime, reread your post again. Not that frightening after all. But I still need to confirm that you are not of the devil. I check on the topics you have posted. Was relieved to find that you did not post any demonic posts and is still a "JW".

Shit...their words are still ringing my subconscious : The Devil will ensnare those who leave Jehovah's organisation....

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

Hey, have most of you become atheist?

You no longer think that the Bible is the word of God?

I have not come to this stage yet.

OK. I can agree that celebrating birthday, attending parties are not sins.

But stealing, sexual immorality, killing of another human are certainly sins.

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

Not to go on a tangent, but if the military in your country still engages in bayonet fighting, you might consider emigrating altogether.

Hey, interesting...I consulted a ex jw who have compromised and join the army in the 70's. He told me that the most traumatic part for him is the bayonet fighting part.

He is trained on how to kill an enemy using the bayonet.

They no longer use the bayonet anymore? How do they train now? Need to check out with my worldly friends who are in the army. I don't think I will have problem shooting a missile at the enemy or dropping a bomb on them. But not piecing a bayonet at someone's chest....

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

degree
If you are "sinning" against anyone it would be against yourself because YOU have to live with the consequences of your decisions and actions.

Thank you for your advice. The advice I received from the ppl here is so different from the advice I receive from those in the org. I am sick of their advice. The advice I get from here is so practical so down to earth. When I seek their advice, they seldom give me scriptural advice. Instead they will point me to what awake! and wt say about that topic... the fds say this, fds say that.

There is another thing that you guys have proved them wrong. They say never visit ex jw sites. They are just wanting to pull jw out to join them. Once you are out, nobody will care about you. But you guys have proved them wrong. I have received much needed advice and support from you guys.

But really I wanted to explore sex. I am sick of my friends teasing me and called me the 16 y.o. virgin boy. Next month they will start calling me 17 y.o. virgin boy. I can don't celebrate birthdays, xmas, etc .. but I wanted a sexual experience. A close friend of mine say they can make me drunk so that I will not have any guilty feelings. But uncle Still Totally Add advises me to have safe sex and you reminded me that I have to bear the consequences of my action...I will take heed of these advice.

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

Uncle Still Totally ADD,

Thank you for your valuable advice. Yes, I will heed your advice and take safety precaution.

So your family is still IN? Did they shun you for leaving. Don't be sad if they do. Here in this forum, we support each other. Write to me more often. I value your advice.

Take good care of yourself.

64

Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it

by sinboi in

have da'd myself nearly 3 months ago.

now i am part of this world but i feel myself the odd one out.

something inside me is still blocking me to do the things i have been longing to do while i was still a jw, such as attending birthday parties, sex, etc.... just last nite, i was on the way to attend a birthday party.

sinboi

Just so that I understand where you are coming from - What was your reason for disassociating, was it so that you could "sin"?
I donated to help victims of philippines typhoon. Collected by Salvation Army. Was counselled but I don't think I did anything wrong.
I requested to know why WT apply to join the wild beast. I ask in a mild voice. I thought they have a reason for it. But the elder shouted at me and ask me if I have been visiting ex JW sites. I said no. A classmate printed it out and pass it to me.
I demanded to know why WT predicted the end of the world in 1975 when Jesus have said no one knows..
They did not give me an answer that satisfy me. They called my mom and told her that I need to stop all these questions. I can be DF'd for it.
I told my mum it is like an israelite being stone to death when he asked Moses why he worship the golden calf. I told her I doubt that they are really God's people.
I went up my room. Think for nearly 2 hours. I cannot denied that during these 2 hours, I have thought of the freedom to sin after I have DA'd. I have always thought of exploring sex since I started puberty. I wrote the DA letter. But I regreted it later. I should have waited for my dad to come back from his business trip and tell him about it first.