Holy Grail 007 - WTC reminds elders that 1 year is a minimum for being disfellowshipped. They probably wanted you to wait for that time to pass. However, DFing is handled differently from cong to cong. Some are incredibly harsh and some are unbelievably lenient. Aside from being unscriptural (see other threads about what was expected from the man in Corinth who was no longer considered as a Brother), DFing according to how JW's do it is unchristian and inhuman.
It sounds like you have a lot of bitterness - I understand why. Maybe try looking at it from this perspective. YOU ARE FREE from WTC and it's cruelty. Live the life you have left and find joy in it. Seek continual treatment for your bipolar disorder - and thank GOD that you are no longer enslaved to WTC.
As for continuing to ask for forgiveness. You admitted your mistake. You changed. Asking for forgiveness endlessly is like saying that God has not forgiven. I don't believe that is the case. You will make other mistakes - so ask for forgiveness for those. Let the other thing go.
Please feel free to text me. I can offer some sincere words of comfort.