Well as one of my family happily said to me one day "they are either with us or they are against us". That is their stand.
The shunning of a disfellowshipped person is supposed to make them see the error of their ways and make them return to Jehovah. Cutting them off and making them miss family and friends. In this day and age if your family and friends cut you off, there are many other places you can find friends and so it is my opinion that the function of disfellowshipping does not work. It has the opposite effect and pushes the shunned one further away and into relationships and friendships with others.