I'm wondering why believers remain members of this forum which is clearly hostile to believers. As one member said, nonbelievers pounce on any semblance of belief like piranhas on prey. As former JWs we should have had our fill of judgmental know-it-alls, but here we are. So why? What is the attraction?
The assumption that you make here is that everyone comes here to debate the validity of their beliefs. Personally, I haven't yet found this forum to be hostile at all. My beliefs aren't like others. I believe in the possibility of a supreme being as much as I believe in the possibility that there is no god. I am full of belief on both accounts equally. That isn't in any way a normal way of thinking. But I don't need to debate my beliefs for the simple reason that they are my beliefs. They aren't facts and they can't be proven and yet they hold the same validity for me that facts and proof does. Why would I need to prove my beliefs are valid to anyone else when they are perfectly valid to me? I don't. And I don't come to this or any other social forum in order to debate or validate my beliefs. I don't have that need.
The attraction for me is community. Something that I lost when I left the cult was a support system and a community. I am not love-bombed and automatically accepted on the condition that I agree with everyone else here and I prefer it that way. I have received a very nice welcome and an initial level of acceptance. From here I have to prove that I can be an acceptable member of this community, and this community has to prove to me that this is where I can belong and is a group that I can accept. I never got that as a JW and I find it very satisfactory.
One of the first things I learned when I left the cult is that JWs are not the only people who are self-righteous, judgmental know-it-alls. Those kinds of people are everywhere. I even find myself being that kind of person from time to time. It really takes a concerted effort not to be that kind of person. I now have a belief that this is a part of human nature. We all want to belong somewhere. Change is scary. People who don't fit our mold is scary. So we try to get them to conform to our way. And this is a mentality that you find everywhere, in all social groups even though not everyone behaves this way. To assume that some community of people won't have judgmental know-it-alls is kind of naive. Just because you left a cult or any group of people it doesn't mean that you suddenly turn into a new person. That takes time. And it takes effort. So, give people a break. Confront them on their behavior when it is bad or unnecessary or wrong or whatever. But don't place general blame on an entire community because they didn't meet your unreasonable expectations of them. That isn't any more right then what you feel they are doing to you... or others.
What do you get out of this forum that makes it worth putting up with the attacks from self proclaimed animals?
I haven't been attacked by anyone. But I also love a good debate, so I might not see people as attacking me. I might see people stating their opinions and arguing a point vehemently and passionately. Not only am I okay with that, but I think a good debate is healthy. I haven't seen any personal attacks yet, so I wouldn't be likely to feel attacked unless someone is attacking me on a personal level. But I am also very confident in my beliefs. I have no problem with someone questioning my beliefs thanks to the JW cult. Seriously. I always wondered how strong a persons's faith could be if bad association could spoil it. I a person could be stumbled in strong faith just by talking to someone. If your faith is that weak then it isn't really faith. My faith is strong. And if someone can prove me wrong... and really prove me wrong, not just state an opinion that they are as confident in as I am in my belief, then all the better. I mean, if you can give me proof then you have every right to convert me to your way of thinking. But belief doesn't usually have proof, that is why it is called belief and not fact.
Edited to remove unnecessary commentary.... can't get rid of the yellow box....