Re: your wife's mistaken belief that Sparlock is a real thing... Right around the time the iPhone came out, there was a circuit assembly (or special day assembly? I can never remember, same shit) where they warned about electronic devices. They gave a demonstration about a new device called the "GR8". Obviously a fictitious example, yeah?
Afterward, my mom wagged her finger and warned me not to get this "GR8". It was apparently bad, and wrong.
She also made my brother throw out his Star Wars toys' guns. I love ya mom... but jeez.