schnell

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Posts by schnell

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  3

  End of world preachers

  by untruth in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  when it comes to predicting when the world will end, false prophets/preachers always find a way to say that it's going to end sometime during their lifetime.

  charles russell, joseph rutherford, fred franz, harold camping, current gb members and so many others have done this.

  why is it they never say something like "the world will end in eight hundred years according to the bible"?

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  schnell

  Part of me wants to write a sacred text on parchment and bury it in, like, Missouri somewhere for future religionists to dig up. Shucks, I won't even have to write it in my name.
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  3

  End of world preachers

  by untruth in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  when it comes to predicting when the world will end, false prophets/preachers always find a way to say that it's going to end sometime during their lifetime.

  charles russell, joseph rutherford, fred franz, harold camping, current gb members and so many others have done this.

  why is it they never say something like "the world will end in eight hundred years according to the bible"?

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  schnell

  Ya know what's funny? Eventually one of them has got to be right.
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  42

  Learn To Speak Like A Jehovah's Witness

  by pale.emperor in

  1. social
  2. humour

  for those who were never a jw, here's a fun guide to passing yourself as one:.

  privilege [priv-lij] - a duty nobody would volunteer to do which is assigned to you without your say so.

  such as cleaning the toilets, picking up other brats candy wrappers in the back row and being stuck on locking up duty for the 7th time in a row.. df'd [dee-eff'd] - disfellowshipped.

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  schnell

  @Heartsafire, don't forget that spirituality is measured in hours, placements, and return visits.
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  32

  Intelligent design thought.

  by Crazyguy in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  ok god designed this planet and then most everything on it intelligently yet 97% of the water on the earth is un drinkable.

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  schnell

  I like how a loving, moral, intelligent designer could create a wasp that can take a cute little caterpillar, bury its larvae into it, and brainwash it into bashing its head around to protect the larvae from other parasites while they grow and eat their way out of it.

  Or bacteria that eats Nylon.
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  42

  Learn To Speak Like A Jehovah's Witness

  by pale.emperor in

  1. social
  2. humour

  for those who were never a jw, here's a fun guide to passing yourself as one:.

  privilege [priv-lij] - a duty nobody would volunteer to do which is assigned to you without your say so.

  such as cleaning the toilets, picking up other brats candy wrappers in the back row and being stuck on locking up duty for the 7th time in a row.. df'd [dee-eff'd] - disfellowshipped.

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  schnell

  I got a text from some weird number while I was at work and instantly ignored it when I saw the words "encourage" and "ones".
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  33

  Pyramid Schemes

  by schnell in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  several years ago, i was introduced to a "wonderful" company called fortune hi tech marketing by a brother and his wife.

  they had been introduced by a former sheriff who claims he had researched the company and found no leins or judgments, and that former sheriff had been brought in by a pastor.

  you can read what happened with fhtm on wikipedia if you so desire.. this whole new idea of multilevel marketing had my brain reeling, though, and soon enough, i actually signed up with none other than prepaid legal.

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  schnell

  @cyberjesus, if you can make it selling the product, you still have to warn against recruiting people who probably won't be so fortunate .
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  7

  Well, I thought they were funny.

  by Ultimate Axiom in

  1. social
  2. humour

  like many others, our local church produces a newsletter.

  church car park sign... “for members only.

  trespassers will be baptised”.. a sunday school teacher asked, “johnny, do you think noah did a lot of fishing when he was in the ark?” “no,” replied johnny, “how could he, with just two worms?”.

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  schnell

  A pleasant contrast to the rather humorless JWs
  

  I once saw an old circuit overseer deliver this gem. "Ellen Degeneres? More like Ellen Degenerate. Hehehehe."

  But yeah, no, they love gays. *rolls eyes*
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  41

  What Comes After the Watchtower Collapse?

  by schnell in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was going to put this in my thread about pyramid schemes, but i thought it's discreet enough to warrant its own.

  1) there are many faithful jws.

  2) there are many men and women who could take control and fill the void if the watchtower collapses.

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  schnell

  Heh. Cool, so they didn't say we're all going to be in bunkers and basements soon.

  Give it 5 years and dig those videos right up again when they talk about this system wrapping up.
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  41

  What Comes After the Watchtower Collapse?

  by schnell in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was going to put this in my thread about pyramid schemes, but i thought it's discreet enough to warrant its own.

  1) there are many faithful jws.

  2) there are many men and women who could take control and fill the void if the watchtower collapses.

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  schnell

  What makes you think they will collapse?
  

  Hope, and observation of the society thinning everything out and stagnating and being shown for what they are to millions of young people online (the antigay cartoon made it to 9gag) and begging for money on JW Broadcast.

  Also, this very year, they've made promises that they cannot take back about the great tribulation. Those bunker videos at the worst convention ever weren't for nothing. It wasn't just a delusional man talking at the podium. It was a lot more visual than that, and it didn't just stay at the convention. All of it went online for the whole world to see. If I wanted to, I could repeatedly upload that footage to sites like 9gag just to keep it in young people's mind.

  The organization is incestuous as it is at this point, as the vast majority of current JWs and new baptisms are born in. But as they talk to their friends, all the other kids have to do is Google it. They've peaked.

  What's more, I'm actually worried.

  At some point, witnesses have to retire. Pensions all over the world and social security in the USA included are not secure. Although the details and politics are debated and disputed, in only a few decades, social security will be insolvent. Millions of people are in for a massive reality check.

  I agree, things are changing. If not a collapse, call it a decline, but it's a recipe for transformation, reformation, or schism.

  Or indeed, maybe I'll just wake up.
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  19

  What is your story?

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i thought it would be fun to get to know each other's background a little better.. what brought you into the "truth"?

  were you born in?.

  what caused you to have doubts?.

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  schnell

  I was born in, and I didn't start leaving due to the abuses or corruption. I started leaving because it was apparent that I don't think the same way as the JWs around me and I got sick of being dishonest. So I started looking into science and the Bible itself. It was vividly clear right away that the philosophy of history and worldview of the Watchtower are not at all accurate. The Watchtower's use of desperate AND disparate prooftexting assumed that the Bible is all inspired of God, and that's just not true.

  And then I came here and found out about everything else.