I WISH! Sounds like a lovely place to be, Zarco. Paradise on earth! My plan is to get as close to this place as I possibly can while still married to an active JW. If it should happen that I'm no longer married to this active JW, I'm out faster than ... well, faster than I don't know what ... so I'm a "Wannabe ex-EX-JW". I'm still working on how this is going to look in my life going forward. Oh, and yes, my exit is following the process you described - well said!
LifesNotOver
JoinedPosts by LifesNotOver
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Continuum of an Exit
by zarco ina few random thoughts about my continuum.
did your exit follow this process?
doubts – this is tough phase because the mind begins and then continues to prove to itself through logic and facts that the “truth ain’t the truth”.
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LifesNotOver
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Thank you, LifesNotOver
by compound complex infor you, dear friend:.
it seemed but yesterday though, heaven knows, .
time has flown since i embarked upon that .
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LifesNotOver
CoCo - Thank you! "There are men too gentle to live among wolves" James Kavanaugh
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Hottest Topics - New Sort by Rank Option
by Simon ini have just enabled a new sort feature which should appear as a new tab called "rank" on any of the topic listing pages (by forum or subject within it).. there's also a "hottest" link in the main nav.. what does it do?.
well, think of it like active topics ... the latest things go to the top.
except instead of anyone being able to make something go straight to the top simply by posting on it, now the ranking is based on a combination of things including how many likes and dislikes they have received combined with when the posts were made.. what should happen is that likes for new posts will give them a boost as will replies but over time their effect will diminish.
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LifesNotOver
CoCo - yes please do that! Consider yourself inspired.
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Hottest Topics - New Sort by Rank Option
by Simon ini have just enabled a new sort feature which should appear as a new tab called "rank" on any of the topic listing pages (by forum or subject within it).. there's also a "hottest" link in the main nav.. what does it do?.
well, think of it like active topics ... the latest things go to the top.
except instead of anyone being able to make something go straight to the top simply by posting on it, now the ranking is based on a combination of things including how many likes and dislikes they have received combined with when the posts were made.. what should happen is that likes for new posts will give them a boost as will replies but over time their effect will diminish.
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LifesNotOver
No, latest is still there beside newest. This is fun, huh sparrowdown?
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JW broadcasting and doubts
by Colinconfused inhi everyone to cut a long story short, ive been away from the meetings for over 10 years.
i recently reconnected with the congregation and started a study.
cant get my head around all the changes and jw broadcasting.
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LifesNotOver
Colin, might I make a suggestion? That is to make sure in your own mind (and your partner's) what your beliefs are before you involve your children? Could save them a whole lot of hurt and confusion. You sound like a smart man and I'm sure you've already considered that, just saying ...
Not my business, but happy to hear you've discontinued the study and the meetings. And the Bible book for kids disturbed me as an adult. I never did send it to my grandchildren (parents not JW's) - so glad I didn't!
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Keep the meeting going! (even if somebody's dying)
by TimeBandit inthis is a true story.
it's about a sister named henriette venema.
she was a very loyal jw.
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LifesNotOver
Thank you TimeBandit and all the others! Whenever I start to think that maybe I wasn't all that adversely affected by my time in the cult, something like this comes up that reminds me of all the head-nodding-in-agreement I did at things that went on, when my heart and soul was crying NO!NO!NO! something is very wrong with these people! And I'm so ashamed for being so untrue to myself. And being so cowardly not to speak up.
It's called brainwashing, but it doesn't render a person braindead, and that's why they're losing so many people because people still have the capacity to think for themselves when they finally give their head a shake. They say not to trust your heart, that it's treacherous. They'll do the feeling for you. They say not to trust your head, they'll do the thinking for you. Oh, it's like, "don't worry your pretty little head".
Where am I going with this? Rambling, sorry. LifesNotOver
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Server Errors / Forum Update
by Simon inoops, sorry about that - the last update caused a few server errors on some topics.
they should be ok now.. just rolling out some more updates to make things slightly quicker and lay the foundation for future improvements..
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LifesNotOver
Admit freely I don't understand any of this stuff, but I do get that it takes a lot of time and effort and commitment, and I thank you for that Simon. LNO
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Reinstated and then fade
by Zeds Dead ini'm a man - d'fd for 2.5 years now and divorced.
find it hard to date girls out here only due to always having this secret i carry with me that i was once a jw and the thought of telling a girl one day why my family don't acknowledge me as even alive.. recently been thinking of trying to get reinstated and then do a quick fade as i cant go back to the whole jw stuff.. easier said than done and was turned down twice by elders after an immediate attempt 2 years ago.. my motivation for trying would be 1.
) to see if family make contact and 2) play the last hand in their game and give the middle finger.. interested in viewpoints?.
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LifesNotOver
What just fine said. It's not a deep dark secret, really. You don't have to divulge all right off the bat. When you know her a bit and the time is right, tell her matter-of-factly. If you make a big deal of it, she'll wonder what the big deal is. Remember, it's not YOU who's the crazy one, it's THEM!
Hey, this maybe helped clear something up for me. I, too, was asking how to divulge my past to people. I think the answer for me is to make that phone call to a counsellor that I've been thinking about making, and practice talking about it there, to someone who should be safe and non-judgemental.
Oh, and NO, don't go back when you've come this far, don't second guess yourself. You'll just find yourself back where you started from, ugh! Find another game to play, don't play theirs.
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"Life is so hard!...tribulation and problems abound!" Persecution complex of witnesses.....
by stuckinarut2 inthe meeting this week is mind-blowing in the way it fuels the crippling "persecution complex" of witnesses!.
paragraph 1 set the theme with this gem:.
does it shock you that you can expect to face many tribulations before you gain the prize of everlasting life?
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LifesNotOver
Nowwhat? - you talking about my husband?! He's exactly like that, and then you say "that's what makes him a perfect JW". My heart sank reading that. I harbour hopes that he'll see TTAT, but if I'm really honest, they're not based on anything real. He thrives on all the bad news out there, just laps it up, really gets off on it. (sorry if that's rude). He's far from a perfect JW in all that's expected of him, but he has the personality down pat! And I think without a major change in personality he'll continue as a JW just as he has. It's a perfect fit for him. A major change in personality in someone isn't doable, is it?
Sorry, folks, if what I do is hijack threads. I suspect I might do that, but I'm trying to contribute something. I'm not all that well versed on forum dos-and-donts and etiquette. Feel free to clue me in if you like. LifesNotOver
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I have no prblems with "new light"
by Doug Mason inthere is nothing wrong with accepting new ideas.
even apostle paul changed his mind when he "saw the light".
indeed, i hope to learn new things every day.
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LifesNotOver
Personally, I was seriously doubting my intelligence, my ability to think and reason and figure things out. When I would mull things over for hours (like the overlapping generation) twisting my poor brain every which way to bring it in line with what I thought they were actually getting at, then for an instant I would have an "I got it!!", then it would twist out of my mental grasp. And I'd be back to square one, only not really because I'd begun to doubt that I'd ever really understand it, I wasn't smart enough, but I'd keep trying because everyone around me was saying "I get it!" Soon I was saying "I get it" just so I would fit in and people would stop trying to explain it to me! And then I found myself trying to explain it to others without understanding it myself - what a joke! LNO