i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
Update
I am still amazed that I am still getting messages to this day!
Thank you so much for your support you good people!
I have made a new post with an update of what has happened since then.
Here is the new post: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5641324928696320/update-fanatical-mom-wants-report-me
Sorry I couldn't respond to you all, but my life has been a mess!
Godspeed!
*** update 2020/11/21 ****.
hello people,.
some time ago i made my first on this forum after i have just woken up.. i was very scared and honestly i am still amazed from the fact that i am still getting replies in the old thread.. here is the link to my previous thread: link.
*** UPDATE 2020/11/21 ****
Hello people,
Some time ago I made my first on this forum after I have just woken up.
I was very scared and honestly I am still amazed from the fact that I am still getting replies in the old thread.
Here is the link to my previous thread: link
First thing's first I would like to begin this update with a great word of acknowledgement to each and every one of you that provided me support upon the beginning of this stressfull period in my life. To each and every one of you: Thank you
I would like to begin by saying that my mother reported my situation to one of the "lesser" elders. By lesser I mean to describe this guy as a complete tool that got the privilege of having a power position over indoctrinated people. Like, I am by no means exagerating... the guy is a complete tool and a very laughable man.
I am completely aware that by now all the elders now know of my situation and that I have been 100% marked.
The first phone call
This elder whom my mother has talked with called one morning and made me the usual routine questions: "do I still believe in Jehovah?", "Do I still view the GB as the faithful and discreet slave?", yada yada yada.
I answered positively to all his questions even though I was lying just as damage control.
I shouldn't have taken the call because he tapped into my fear instincts and reccomended me to watch this video.
His whole premise is that this video displays very inteligent people such as a psychologist/theologist, a guy that used to study in a seminar, etc...
Watching this video made me question whether this organization really had the truth and maybe that I was being lied to by apostate material I have read online, because... it wouldn't be possible for inteligent people to join this organization knowing that it wasn't the truth right?
Wrong! After some days I realized that that video doesn't tell the whole story, that most likely those experiences are fabricated or deeply exagerated and that is the usual WT$ propaganda video to strengthen their followers indoctrination or attempt to recruit poor souls.
Meetings
Since this phone call I ceased to attend meetings. I still attend to some, here and there, just to make my mother happy. But the truth is, I cannot not see the meetings for what they are now: "Weekly indoctrination sessions where the same talking-points are repeated over, and over, and over... *sigh*... and over again, just to strike fear into our hearts and making the congregation stand in line, like the sheep we all are (or were )".
As of this update I have ceased to attend the meetings but of course there have been some repercussions.
Relationship with my mother
My relationship with my mother is really bad now. All we do is engage in hateful discussions with one another and she ends up crying because she really believes that I am getting destroyed in Armaggedon. Whilst I feel pity for her, because she has been indoctrinated, I cannot stand this shit anymore. I am a female in my mid 20s and I want to finally live my live for what it is while I am still young. Altough I don't want to lose my mother, even though I probably will which makes me very sad.
My father is completely on her side and I feel lost. I live under their ceiling. I have a job, but I do not feel that I can live on my own in a new home because the organization has destroyed my confidence and put me down for 20+ years.
I don't plan on sticking in this wretched cult anymore, my home environment is really, really dark at the moment, I feel alone, and this makes me very stressful. I haven't slept for weeks. In the future I plan on leaving my parent's home and cutting every tie with the religion. I don't think my parents have the nerve to shun me because I have been a very good daughter to them. In the near future I plan on getting psycological help and counseling.
My job
One thing that is bad, is that whilst my job pays good, I am stuck with a super fanatical jw from my congregation whom I was friends with and I cannot stand that person anymore. I fucking hate that person which is making me to consider to leave my job to one farther away. Whilst this would be a good thing, I hate driving. I think that person should be the one having a problem with me and not the other way around, but I feel like I don't want to stand around that jw anymore, because I plan on cutting ties to this religion in the near future. I still am figuring out what to do with regard to my job.
The second phone call
After some weeks, that complete tool of an elder called again. This time I had already consume tons, like literally, tons of apostate material. The more I read the more I was convinced the WT$ doesn't have the truth, and never had. The more I knew it was just a very destructive cult and this gave me more confidence. I realized that the WT$ are just like those crazy people on the street with cardboard signs, saying the end is nigh, yet just wearing a suit and tie because it makes them more credible. This also made me see that the elders don't have any power over me. The conversation went as follows:
I still giggle to this day. I never thought I had this level of confidence in me to completely wipe the floor with a "elder of Jehovah's congregation" but I did.
Conclusion
I have some plans in my life for the near future:
In the future:
Post-Scriptum
I am still feeling kinda confused, please send me suggestions! There is still many stuff I haven't accounted and I still don't know how to lead a normal life, even though I have been learning and I am actually having fun for the first time!
i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
Hello,
Thank you all for your overwhelming support. I am feeling much better today thanks to your advice.
I don't plan on staying within the Watchtower's grasp for long.
I am still vulnerable since I've just recently woken up. I will give myself some time to develop confidence within myself (I never had any) and to further investigate Watchtower's lies and settle within myself the fact that I've been lied to for all this time. It's still a tough pill to swallow, but I think I will manage.
I don't plan on giving the elders any authority over me, and I will avoid talking to them. If they somehow come after me and force me into talking to them I won't disclose anything to them and will refuse to engage in any discussion. Like @snapdragon4 said, whilst I am regrouping my feelings and strength's within myself, I will avoid them at all costs, to prevent them to exploit me whilst being vulnerable.
Furthermore, I will give them "I'm taking a sabbatical year to strengthen my faith" excuse so I can take time to understand how I will proceed and further confirm to myself how the Watchtower is a destructive cult which rules by fear and manipulation to maintain their thirst for power and money.
When I have confidence in myself and understand how to live in this world my new life I will get out on my terms and won't play by their terms.
I plan on developing friendships with new good people, and strengthen the relationship I have with two PIMO friends of mine (one of them whom I am romantically involved with) and who are currently helping me. In fact the latter one was a poster here and he had been gathering information just in case I woke up, being the one who also encouraged me on posting here.
Thank you all for your support.
I will see you good people very soon.
Scarlett
i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
I do not have worldly friends, because every friendship that I could ever had I avoided it due to the indoctrination.
I only have two true friends who are currently PIMO. I have a relationship with the one that introduced me to the website, nobody in the congregation knows though. He has the means to live by himself. The problem is that I don't want to live with a person without marrying, it still is confusing to me because it goes against what I have been taught my whole life.
I don't have any relatives.
How do I stay away from the elders? My mom wants to report me to them and she probably will. I don't want to talk to them. But this cult is very intrusive, one day I might come from home and they might be expecting me, I'm getting very anxious.
i've just been introduced to this site by a pimo friend of mine.
this will be my first post on this website.
i need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.. i'm a female in my mid twenties.
Hello,
I've just been introduced to this site by a PIMO friend of mine. This will be my first post on this website. I need help, and he told me you guys are a very supportive community.
I'm a female in my mid twenties. I have a college degree have a job, but live with my parents. Mom is an utterly devout JW. I've recently woken up. I've been a member of this cult since I was born. Finally, throughout a life of worship and feeling bad about myself for the first time I connected the dots. The child abuse cases is what made me woke up. Now, I can see it all, the toxic doctrines, abusive and conditional relationships, people dying for refusing blood transfusions (something I could never understand).
Throughout my live I've never felt good about the organization but I would try to suppress those feelings and I would feel belittled since the people on meetings and the magazines would tell me that I should always try harder and have even more faith in Jehovah and that the end would come.
Basically, I have woken up all of the sudden within a month time span. I know it's all bullshit now and I don't know how to deal with it.
I'm feeling revolted. I'm tired of this charade. I feel like I have been tricked into a cult (and I actually was). But I had no choice since I was a born-in.
I don't know what to do. I live with my parents (mother is right now even more fanatical with the whole covid-19 thing) and hold a steady job.
For the last few days I couldn't hold it anymore, after missing 4 meetings in a row and I told my mom everything. The child abuse, blood doctrine, false prophecies, donations being spent in Anthony Morris's booze. I thought that, that would help her wake up as well. How wrong I was.
Now she made me an ultimatum. I either go to the elders or she reports me herself.
I don't want to go to the elders, I want this to end.
I know I played my cards wrong but I feel utterly disguted with this organization that controlled my life and made me a misfit in the world (I don't know how to live in the world by myself!)
Please help me! What should I do????
I'm panicking, having suicidal thoughts and feel like nobody can help me, even though I have two PIMO friends.
Help me please.
Scarlett
PS: My mom is threatening to kick me from home and I don't know how to live by myself :((
