Hello and welcome! Best of luck in your wake
up process. This board is a great place to start.
stephanie61092
JoinedPosts by stephanie61092
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Long time lurker, first time poster ...
by LettMorrisSplaneit ini finally had the guts to create a profile to be able to post.
i've been lurking for a few months and have read all your experiences and comments dutifully.
you have been a great help in my process of waking up from this cult posing as the one true religion.
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Wt encouraging people to completely forgive but they dont
by poopie inbut they don't forgive because they still shun people.
who they feel are not worthy of forgivenes.
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stephanie61092
Story of my freaking life. Exactly why I sit in a therapists office once a week and get enough venting done so I don't blow my brains out. For another week at least. -
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Why Me?
by Grey Goose init the question that i have found myself constantly asking myself the past few months.
out of all the jws i interact with, why did it have to be me that woke up from this mess?.
i am relieved that i have woken up to the bullshit, but a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer.
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stephanie61092
That's how I feel the majority of the time. Part of me misses the bliss of thinking I had all the answers. But overall, I'm happy to know TTATT because I can live a life of general freedom and not feel guilty for being disfellowshipped and then once I'm "back" I know I can live my life without the guilt of going in service enough or missing a meeting
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Peer Pressure amongst witnesses
by stuckinarut2 inhave you noticed just how strong peer pressure is amongst witnesses?.
the desire to match or better one another's "spiritual accomplishments" or decisions in life?.
pioneering - because it is the "right" thing to do.. answering at meetings...perhaps multiple times - because it is the "right" thing to do.. choice of employment.
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stephanie61092
Another example of how being brought up in the JW cult screws up your childhood! -
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Chitty
by StopTheTears ini've learned that many years ago, there was a man named brother chitty of some prominence in the jehovah's witnesses organization.
it fact, chitty was a member of the governing body.
chitty was asked to resign his position after serving for many years and nothing much was ever said about it to jehovahs witnesses.
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stephanie61092
I don't know the circumstances. However, you can't be DFed for being a "secret" homosexual. You can only be DFed if you openly admit you're gay and/or practice homosexuality (even if only kissing someone of the same gender). Otherwise, "gay tendencies or inclinations" are simply viewed as "thorns of the flesh." -
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Did any of us ever enjoy meetings?
by stephanie61092 inthis is a legitimate question.
did any of us ever find real joy in being at the meetings?
did any of us ever finish a meeting and think "i feel so enriched"?
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stephanie61092
This is a legitimate question. Did any of us ever find real joy in being at the meetings? Did any of us ever finish a meeting and think "I feel so enriched"? Since waking up, I've been able to admit that I've NEVER enjoyed the meetings - EVER! I have ALWAYS been bored and my mind has been elsewhere, but I felt too guilty to admit it. If anything, I've learned a great deal in patience and day dreaming. As an adult, every time I went to the meeting I only ever thought about where I would be going to eat after the meeting and with whom OR what things I needed to get done after the meeting was over. This was even true when I was an active "strong" witness, who commented and took notes during each meeting.
A little while ago I was hanging out with a friend who is also DFed but not 'coming back' and they said to me "religion is sitting in a church and thinking about going kayaking. Spirituality is sitting in a kayak and thinking about God." That thought has really been resonating with me these past few days.
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I no longer feel smart as a JW, I feel dumb...
by thedepressedsoul ini don't want anyone to take this the wrong way but i use to at least feel smart as a jw.
when i went to thursday night meetings, i at least felt like i was a student, that i was learning how to speak publicly, i could prepare my own comments, i could answer points that i learned from the weekly bible reading.
i even feel like an "idiot" studying for the meetings.
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stephanie61092
Don't apologize. Your rant echos my thoughts as well as many others. Even my still very "in" JW mother says that the information presented in the literature and at the meetings is "fluff". The society knows that the new converts can't handle anything that involves much Bible research and merely relies on pulling on their heart strings. It's pathetic, really.
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A faded JW about to see the Circuit overseer
by pleaseresearch inso my mum who is in and really is finding it hard that i have left and faded.
shes asked me if i want to the the circuit overseer next week.. i have never met him and this is more my mum wanting me to get my problems i have with the organisation out.
but should i share everything i've learnt or what?.
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stephanie61092
DONT DO IT!!!!! -
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Went for my first legal session today.
by umbertoecho inthe arc are indeed a patient lot who don't pressure.
they make sure a person feels safe.
they don't hold back with legal information either.
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stephanie61092
Thank you for sharing your story -
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Where's my invitation to the Memorial? What the hell!
by ToesUp ina carload of jw's worked our street today.
obviously they are doing the invites to the memorial.
of course, we didn't answer.. 1 ring, 2 seconds at the door (that's all we get?
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stephanie61092
It could depend on where you live. At the CLAM meeting the other week, it was announced that we would be leaving them at not at homes except in certain neighborhoods. Some of the deed restricted communities where I live tried to get JWs banned entirely and while unfortunately for all the residents, it wasn't passed, the JWs did have to agree to not leave any litter-ture in doors or under door mats.