Skipper,
Interesting question, and one I had to ask myself a couple of years ago when my hubby left me because I was a controlling, bossy, argumentative, know-it-all b-word. I was also funny, life of the party, kind, compassionate, and a good mom to my kids. But the negative overshadowed the positive in his eyes.
Basically, after a year of therapy and self analysis I came to the conclusion that you can be who you are as long as you aren't taking away from other people being who they are. One of the reasons that I was controlling etc.... was because I was trying to mold him into the person "I" thought he should be, not the person he was. When you go through life trying to get people to see life through your eyes and think the way you think, it turns you into not a very pleasant person to be around. So then you have to ask yourself "Do I want to continue down this path and be alone or do I want to make some changes and be surrounded by people that are not going to think the way I think or see things the way I see them or do things the way I would do them?" I chose to make changes. And I've never been happier.
Oh, and by the way hubby and I got back together and we've never been more in love.
Shimmer
The eyes of my eyes are opened.
---E.E. CUMMINGS