I lost son aged 25 to cancer . I would totally agree with all of the above. To say nothing is worse. I would have people avoid me in the street because they just couldn't talk to me . I kinda got that but if they had just said " l am so sorry " that would have been ok .
Yes sometimes people said things that weren't helpful but l knew that they meant well and wanted to give comfort . That was ok
What l would add is that sometimes people want to be left alone . I remember sitting in the cemetery where my son was buried a couple of days after the funeral . I was sobbing and a lady who lived over the road from the cemetery saw me and came over. She sat down next to me and said something . I replied that l would like to be alone . I don't know what she thought would happen if she left me alone but she didn't go . I felt that because l was obviously worrying her l had to try and stop crying , say that l was alright and go home . Now her actions were really kind , but l just wanted some space to grieve in my way , on my own .
Jan