Posts by Hargitay

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Now, let me just own this entire thing. let me take full personal responsibility for things turning out the way they have. I should have kept my effing mouth shut to my wife. I should have just gone through the motions dead inside, letting it eat away at me slowly and agonizingly. I would have not caused all this if I had have just kept it all to myself.

"C" used as an excuse for not keeping his word, and this was just one of his excuses, that my sarcasm in a previous post turned many off and they refused to help in a collection he was taking up. Fine. I did not ask for a collection, but I was challenged by another poster as to the truthfulness of my sorrow and lamentations. Receiving encouragement, apparently, rested in me proving I was who and what I said I was. WTF? I have been reading this board for a few months and how damned difficult is it to write a few words of encouragement, share experiences, offer direction to someone coming out of the org without expressing doubt as to their honesty? I was not asking for money or a handout. I was just reaching out for what this board claims it offers. So, if some of you were turned off by my sarcasm, that is your tough luck because I don't have to prove a damn thing to any of you. So, you doubt, have been tricked by people like Rick Fearon and Johnny the Bethelite and so you want to vet all nubies, is that it? Or you slam the door in their faces? Lame. You'd rather post to threads like, "Who has bigger penises: Bethelites or Auxillary Pioneers?"? So, if it is the way "C" says it is, that my sarcasm pissed a bunch of you off . . . ? Well, you have the same pair of britches to get glad in. I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BEHIND whether you believe me or not.

that is all I am going to say on that topic, and C, seriously, stop contacting me. I don't care anymore. Go make your sad weak-ass promises to someone else. You shipped me a bill of goods I did not ask for, and it all came in a big empty box. Go tithe or something.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

Yeah, clarity, C is not you. He has a sn starting with an entirely different letter. He rolled out the red carpet for me and then yanked it out from under my feet on a pretext. he will not stop harassing me. I have asked him to leave me alone, but he keeps pm'ing me on this board and if he doesn't stop, I am going to go apeshit and out him with his pretentious messages of hope and generosity, and then his U-turn in slamming the door of his tender whatchamacallits in my face. He has called me a fraud, called the police on me (FOR WHAT???? I have not asked anyone for anything but emotional and mental support here and I did not take a damn dime from this tool though he offered plenty . . . but he twisted the facts then nit=picked them to death like he is some super sleuth just to justify his backsliding. I was not even going to mention it publicly, but he keeps harassing me and I will not only report him to the mods, but i will also notify the local police of his stalking and harassment. I have asked him at least two times in a written pm to stop contacting me, but he won't relent, and wonders why I am pissed. He is obtuse and pretentious. Pathetic.

Yes, it was a public shelter at which I lost my wallet and ID. It was new friends who stole my laptop. It was an employer near Austin who druggd me in my sleep and sexually assaulted me, and did not pay me what he owes me when I left. I am going to sit in a dark room for a while. This has been a nightmare, and I now have plenty more issues to deal with.

thanks, again, to all for your continued encouragement. xo

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

Update: I am now at my SIL's, have a job, finishing projects my brother could not finish before he died, and I'm safe and getting back on my feet. I will post more in time. Meanwhile, if you anyone has any questions, feel free to message me or post them here. I will try and respond asap. hugs.

C, I'd toss your lying ass under the bus, but the smell of squashed bullshit is more than most people can handle. Do not contact me again here or any other way. I'm not kidding.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

How do you remain in a home you built for people who do not want you there? How do you do that? Tell me, please, how do you force your will upon another human being and expect to reside in any kind of peace or without causing them to disregard you even more than they already do? So many say go back and assert your rights, but they have not yet answered those questions or offered any strategy for doing so without doing more damage to the children. Of course, I want to go home. Of course I want to put my foot down and assert MY rights. Easier said than done.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

I appreciate you. Hopefully, in the morning I can find a way to get to my sil's place without any further frustration. once there, I will be OK.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

oh, and C and W, go hump yourselves lol you suck.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

thanks, talespin. it is a bit late to take advantage of your suggestion. I just have to ride this night out at the Denny's where I have made friends with the waitress. My ID was stolen, so I cannot even get a bus ticket, which I have money for, but without ID, I am stuck. I cannot even get a motel, which I have money for . . . this so sucks, lol. But I am getting use to it. Denny's is cool. Coffee refills all night, a waitress with heavy makeup to cover her acne, to cause more acne, lol, and free wifi so I can read and post on this board, lol. the light of day will bring a solution. I can bare it. I just need someone to take my money, buy me a bus ticket with it, and I will be on my way to a fresh new start.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

I did not come to this board for a handout, or for free anything. I came to this board for the support and encouragement it touted as its purpose.

again, I did not come to this board for a handout, or for free anything. I came to this board for the support and encouragement it touted as its purpose.

One very fine lady insisted I take some money to help me through a couple of days and I accepted gratefully.

Another regular poster on this board offered me a place to stay, my own room with TV and internet. They offered to send me money. They expressed concern and said that if I ever make it to their town, to let them know and I could stay with them. Without knowing it, I did make to their town, and did not realize it til after the fact as I read through past posts and pm's. I called and asked if i could stay but just for a day or two until I could make arrangement to get to my sisterinlaw's, to which they flat out refused me. They had formerly spoke of their religious convicitions and tithing, and blah-blahbidy-blah blah, devout Chrisitians no doubt, but when it came to keeping their word, acting on their Christian faith, they backpedaled, made excuses, and turned me away into the cold blackened night like sad, pathetic, hypocritical, weak-ass whatevers.

Thanks to those who offered the encouragement this board touted. Bravo. Thanks for not offereing false hope and empty promises. Thanks for being practicle and real.

To those who offered false hope, empty promises, and offers I did not ask for only to make excuses for not following through, shame on you. I never asked you for shit, and it must've made you feel good about yourself to make such generous offers right up until I said yes to one of them. Then you ignored me. Then you made excuses. Then you turned me down flat for no valid reason whatsoever. you did not learn the lessons the WTBTS should have taught you about how NOT to act in Jesus name. You suck, and again, shame on you. I did not ask you for what you offered me. I only took you up on your offer after the fact, then you showed your true self. Empty words. Empty hearts. Empty pretentious people. Justify it all you want, but you hurt me more this night than you can imagine.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

I have talked to my kids recently, and they haven't much care for their father at present. they feel I have abandoned Jehovah and they do not want to talk to me or see until I come back to Jehovah, but the catch is that they have been told there very little hope for an apostate, so they have given me up for dead. They are torn, and it is hard for me to deal with their pain and confusion, the poison they are being fed about me, and I wish I could convince them it is all a lie without messing up their heads anymore than they already are. I reassured them that I was not a bad apostate, but that their mother and the elders misunderstand me and are full of fear to hear something contrary to what they have been taught by the WTBTS. I am not sure whether they took any comfort in those words, but I am hoping I got in just a bit.

51

I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay in

jw
friends

have been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.

i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.

everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.

Hargitay

I talked to my sister in law, I told her what I could without overwhelming her, and she welcomed me to come and visit. Meanwhile, I have made it to Dallas and need a place to stay for a couple nights while I make arrangements to get to her home in another state. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it. I don't want a handout. I just need a break and a safe place to stay for a day or two while I make arrangements to get to her.

My brother died recently, and we were not close since I was a JW and he had long ago went his own way after disfellowshipment. I sort of treated him like crap all these years, so my sister in law is being extremely gracious and loving considering. It is amazing how the only people willing to show love are worldly people and apostates. I feel so shitty when I think about all those years of wasted time holding my brother at arms-length because he was disfellowshipped. I have some explaning and some amends to make to his widow, with egg on my face, ashamed, humbled, and quite ready to hear about how my brother suffered emotionally and mentally for the shunning he experienced. I deserve to bare it. i deserved take whatever rebuke she might have, in the end, for me.

What a fucked up journey this has been. Sorry for the language, but it feels good to effing cuss a bit. lol