I don't know whether anybody on this board lives in Austin, but I am sad that there doesn't seem to be. I can't make it to Houston, or Dallas, or San Antonio. I haven't the means.
Hargitay
JoinedPosts by Hargitay
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51
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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51
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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Hargitay
Thanks for the advice and encouragement. We don't own. We rent from a brother. My home was in California. I willingly left because of the pain and disappointment in my children's eyes. I was too ashamed to stay eventhough I knew I wasn't wrong. I haven't eaten in two days and I am having difficulty finding work. I am literally living on the street. Another day of this is going to break me. I don't know if I can take much more.
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51
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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Hargitay
Thanks for the advice and encouragement. We don't own. We rent from a brother. My home was in California. I willingly left because of the pain and disappointment in my children's eyes. I was too ashamed to stay eventhough I knew I wasn't wrong. I haven't eaten in two days and I am having difficulty finding work. I am literally living on the street. Another day of this is going to break me. I don't know if I can take much more.
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8
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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Hargitay
I will probably enjoy austin a bit more once I get work and get off the streets.
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51
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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Hargitay
"Sorry Hargitay that your alone. BUT.....none of us were born yesterday so how about more information? Tell us about yourself especially your life as a JW. Age, sex, family, education, job skills, relationships etc.
We get a fair amount of trolls and don't want to invest in helping you find a better life until we know your the real deal. Use JW terms and your past history so we can know that you are what you claim."
Was born and raised in the organization of JW's. Sorry, but the information I give in a public forum will be limited because of the very same trolls you speak of. I have minor children still in the organization, all my friends and family are there, some of whom I still love and care about although they have chosen to treat me as dead for having tried to share a differing veiwpoint. I am homeless and penniless at the moment and have limited access to the internet. I am not asking for a handout or anyone's personal information. What would you like to know? My name? My date of birth, social security number, my driver license number, perhaps? Would you like to know the name of the congregation I was born into? The location of the Assembly Hall I was baptized in at the age of 16? How about the names of the elders on the committee to disfellowship me? The name of the Presiding Overseer in my last congregation? Would you care to see my monthly field service report dating back to 1970? Want to know the average number of placements I hacked out at my own expense ever since I started working for a brother cleaning carpets at the age of 15, who also "studied" with me helping me reach the goal of dedicating my life to serving Jehovah because I was a fatherless boy? Was I consistent in following up on Not At Homes and Return Visits? Did I ever get up before dawn to go do street work downtown before I started my work day just to get in my aux pioneer hours? Would you like to know the name of the brother who fired me from his janitorial service and who asked me politely if I would not use him as a reference after having worked for him 14 years? What sort of proof do you require in order for me to post here, make friends, acquire resources, find work, earn a living, find a place to live, get off the street, get past the one most devastating experience of my life as I have lost everyone near and dear to me because I could no longer in good conscience carry lies from door to door, or recite them a la Watchtower study article on Sunday morning?
About seven years ago, I was talking to some sisters out in front of our Kingdom Hall where they were displaying the publications to passersby on a folding table. A man on a bicycle stopped to engage them and began asking questions about some of the topics therein. His questions were different and kept the poor sisters thumbing through the Reasoning Book looking for a proper response, but he wouldn't relent. They could not answer his questions about 607, about 1914, about blood, about 1975, etc.. They turned to me, but I was no help. I listened to the man who was very kind, concise, and patient. The Ministry School and 30-something years of Bible study had not prepared me for what this guy had. I decided to do some independent Bible study comparing what the publications said with what other sources said. There were some things I could no longer deny, and had to accept the WTBTS had it wrong . . . seemingly deliberately. Two years ago, I got ahold of Crisis of Conscience in PDF form and read it in two days. I was amazed and had no reason in my mind to doubt what Franz says in his book. I sat for two years with all this information in my head until I couldn't take it anymore. I started sharing it with my wife who sometimes made fault-finding remarks about the brothers and the Society and figured she would be open to hearing a little validation for he complaints. Just the opposite was the result. She hardly said a word, then went to the elders in our congregation, one of which was her brother, and she told she was afraid I was trying to lead her and our children away from Jehovah and the Truth. I was ambushed after the Thursday night Service Meeting the following week by my brother-in-law and two more elders who wanted to confirm whether I had been reading apostate literature or talking to former brothers about their apostate beliefs. Thinking that my brother-in-law would be sympathetic and understanding, I told them I had read a book written by a former governing body member, and attempted to toss out a couple issues I was in doubt about. I was cut off by him and was asked rather contemptuously, "how long does it take for a man to realize he doesn't have the truth?" I didn't understand the question. He then said, "you've been in the Truth all your life and you are JUST NOW realizing it isn't the truth? Seems kind of silly, don't you think, for anyone to spend so much time in the organization and come to realize after decades that he doesn't have God's truth". I told him I had spent all the time not questioning or studying other sources, that I had always just trusted and take the Society's word for everything I was being taught, and the word of my parents, and yours, too". I was disfellowshipped two weeks later after their attempts to readjust my thinking failed. My wife asked me to leave. I did.
That was three weeks ago, and I am here in Austin, on the street, no friends, no family, no resources. I spent the last of my money on window cleaning equipment so that I can at least try and earn some money daily to eat on, perhaps save up and get my own place. I have a storage unit I keep my clothes and personal things in, I stay clean by showering and shaving at a local bicycle shop that provides that kind of amenity for a dollar. I am even having a hard time doing accounts for free just to get references. I do eat most days, I keep presentable, I am exhausted from sleep depravation, and though I am homeless, I do not want a handout. I do not want charity. I simply want a friend to share a cup of coffee with who understands, because people out here in the world who were never Jehovah's Witnesses- they don't get it. They don't care.
I have to close for now
Thanks for reading, for your encouragement, support.
Sincerely,
Miles
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26
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
-
-
Hargitay
Thank you all for the replies and warm concern. It was very difficult to reach out to those whom I have always been warned against. I am so ticked off at the JW's and the WT Society for tossing me out like trash, and I figured I wasn't the only one. I remember those who were rumored to be apostate and they just disappeared off the face of the earth never to be heard from again. They were only ever mentioned with veiled contempt and criticism by other JW's. I am now one of them.
I am in between places right now and getting internet is a luxury, so I can't always respond to messages as promptly as I would like to. I have been tempted several times to sale my laptop to get some cash, but I am holding out.
I understand that some might suspect I could be an elder sifting out apostates, but I am not.
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8
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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Hargitay
It's difficult for me to talk about specifics on this forum since I don't know who might be reading what I post. I prefer face to face. I'm here to connect with local xJW's
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8
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
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-
Hargitay
Have been in the Austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over. I was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life. Everyone has abandoned me, and I am lost out here. If there is anyone in Austin area, I could really use a friend.
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26
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
-
-
Hargitay
Have been in the Austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over. I was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life. Everyone has abandoned me, and I am lost out here. If there is anyone in Austin area, I could really use a friend.
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51
I Could Really Use A Friend
by Hargitay inhave been in the austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over.
i was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life.
everyone has abandoned me, and i am lost out here.
-
-
Hargitay
Have been in the Austin area for a little over a week in the midst of trying to start over. I was df'd recently after being in the truth my entire life. Everyone has abandoned me, and I am lost out here. If there is anyone in Austin area, I could really use a friend.