Jim,
Thanks for those well-reasoned comments. FWIW, I'm pasting here a post I made to the SilentLambs yahoo group.
-Bob Walker
===
JMHO here, my 1 & 1/3 cents' worth ...
I read Bill's post on JWD, even saved it to my computer, as it was well-written;
however, I do feel a need to respond to some of the comments there and in
others' posts, critical of Ray Franz; and, equally, others critical of Bill.
I am neither defending Ray, nor anyone else. However, I am speaking from the
perspective of an ex-elder, 32 years in the bORG (in fact, I was in the J-Wits
group and was among the first to use the term "bORG," which is now widely used
in these groups). I was known as "LoneRanger" in J-Wits and on Philia. I left
the Wickedtower in 1996, and am vocal among those who know me in criticizing the
various closed, high-control policies of the Wackytower and the Groaning
Bodies. After being on several discussion groups involving ex-dubbies, I've had
a chance to see the wide spectrum of emotions and opinions that are posted, both
those still apologetic for the Terror, and those who are so full of spite and
venom that they sound incredible.
I am also aware, as has been written about extensively by Steven Hassan, Amnesty
International, and other psych's that it takes from 3 -7 years for anyone coming
from such a high-mind-control group to go through all the phases of recovery,
from shock, loss, anger, pain - all the way to finding a place where they no
longer even consider themself an ex-dub, but just as a human with some past
flaws... I can vouche that it's a great place to be, when you wake up one day
and find that having been a Dubby is just a place you once visited and is no
longer part of who you are ... no longer an 'ex-wit,' just a human with some
flaws, battlescars, and some amazing growth that came therefrom.
Bill takes some exception in his post that Ray claims to have never known of a
case of alleged child abuse while he was in the bORG, as if to say that anyone
who was in that long and at that level would HAVE to have known of such cases;
in addition, Bill seems to feel that it is naive for someone to believe that the
incidence of child abuse within the WaterTomb is no worse than in other
religions.
OTOH, some have posted rather virulently about Bill's comments, as if Ray is a
holy icon who cannot have any flaws.
I submit that both views are a little skewed by the psychological 'filters' each
poster has developed, based on their own experiences. It's a little like
Aesop's Fable of the five blind men asked to describe an elephant. One man
touched the trunk and described the entire elephant as a writhing muscular
animal like a snake; another touched the tusk, and disagreed, insisting the
elephant was a hard, bony creature; still another, who had held the tail,
averred they were both wrong, for he was certain the elephant was a small
whip-like creature; etc. etc.
Since each of us have unique experiences vis-a-vis the bORG (in addition to the
common experiences we all share), we each have a slightly different and unique
perpective of it.
I have to compliment Bill on his comment in the JWD post, wherein he said of
Ray, "he is just exercising his freedom and everyone should have the right to do
that. That position angered me at first, but if I can be kind to Jehovah's
Witnesses who do not understand this issue can I not be kind to Ray? I am sorry
Ray for not respecting your freedom, I will leave you alone. There is no Ray
camp or Bill camp this is not an issue about choosing sides ..."
Bill, that comment - and your reaching that realization - indicates that you
have already taken a huge step in the healing process we all must journey
through.
For those who posted rather virulent criticizms of Bill's orginal comments about
Ray, I'm sure you recognize that our experience in an unbelievably
narrow-focused, inward-thinking group has left all of us a bit dented and
damaged, and with some bruises we have to work through. Bill has had a
tremendously unsettling couple of years, and the emotional toll of the trauma
involved with confronting such indefensible, immoral dogma - and being vilified
for doing what one KNOWS is right - that is a pretty hard load to deal with in
the beginning. In addition to that, in Bill and Barbara's cases, they were also
being thrust into a media and PR spotlight at that same time ... I think one
could cut them a little slack if they speak their mind a little curtly, then
retract themselves upon reflection.
Bill, I disagreed with your original assessment of Ray. But I do agree with
this most recent comment, that everyon has freedom to become involved - or not -
in any issue they wish. After all .... didn't we just leave behind an
organization that insisted in "like-think"? And who vilified and ostracized as
"worldly" or "unspiritual" anyone in the bORG who didn't repeat the same mantra?
In defense of Ray, I will say that I was in the bORG for 32 years, 28 as either
an MS or an elder. I had parts on almost every convention or assembly that
occurred during that time, my very first one being an interview at the Circuit
Assembly at which I was baptized. Radio interviews, assembly administration,
quick build co-ordination, yadda yadda yadda. At one time or another, I had
held every congregational position except PO, and had been considered for
circuit work. Does that make me someone? No ... but I say that to illustrate
this ... in that entire time, I never was personally involved in any case of
alleged child abuse. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, and I'm sure that it
does happen, and I've talked with some since to whom it DID happen... I'm
convinced it is far more common within the bORG than I was aware back then.
It's just that, had you told me this was common at any time during those years,
I would have said you are crazy, or apostate, or something like that. In all
those years, I HEARD of two accusations ... one involving a divorce where the
wife was accusing the husband of abusing the kids (her children, his
stepchildren), and another one. In the divorce case, the kids themself
retracted their statements in court and revealed that the mom had put them up to
the accusation because she wanted a divorce which would allow her to remarry.
In the other case, I don't know the outcome, only that the accusation was made.
Being a "good elder," I did not inquire further about a matter to which I was
not privy (see how easy it is for them to cover up egregious situations, even
from sincere 'insiders'?).
I'm not saying this to minimize the problem. In the years since leaving, I have
become convinced that it is a real problem in the bORG. I'm only pointing these
cases out to illustrate two things ... one, that it IS possible to spend many
years in the cult and be unaware of the gravity of the problem (after all ... if
they're that secretive, it's reasonable to believe that some, even at
responsible positions, may not know the prevalence of the problem) ... and, two
... that even the bORG's dogma on divorce and other teachings create
opportunities for lies and cover-ups on both sides of the issue.
As to whether it is worse than in other churches .... well, a sociologist might
contend that since the bORG is made up of a 'cross-section' of the general
population, that the incidence per 100,000 members would be about the same. How
do we know? I would contend to the contrary, that the secrecy of the
organization as a whole makes it more likely that individuals so disposed would
be more likely to act out their pedophile fantasies; therefore, that the
incidence of pedophilia in such an organization would be greater per 100,000
members than in the general population. My opinion is that the recent
disclosures of the Catholic Church's problems would bear that out. However,
since reporting pedophiles and acknowledgement of the crime has a relatively
recent societal history, we can't so state with definitive assurance. Some
might insist that it has been common for many years in many churches, and that
only the recent publicity has caused more people to report. And, while I would
disagree, I must admit that that is a statistical possibility. I think secrecy
makes it more likely to happen, but I don't know if, or how, that could be
proven. Someone with a better legal mind than mine could find a way, I'm sure.
As for Ray's feelings otherwise, I think we have to give him a little slack,
recognizing that he grew up in, and came from, a generation of dubbers to whom
such conclusions were unthinkable. As Bill said, that does not make him
insensitive or 'a bad person.' His opinion is base upon his unique experience,
just as are each of our opinions. His perception of reality is filtered through
that unique experience, just as our perceptions are. And we must all remember
that - to each of us - our perception is our reality ... our truth.
As Bill seems to suggest in his recent JWD post, let's give each person some
credit for the truth according to their perception. We don't all have to agree
on every minute point. We each have unique experiences which influence our
opinions of that reality. Even Einstein would have been surprised at some
scientific/physics discoveries since his great eureka moment. Each person is
with us for a reason or a season. Ray was the right man at the time he exposed
the hypocrisies at that time. Bill is the right man for this issue. In the
future, someone else may educate us about other hypocrisies within the
WarpedTower. Let's give credit to each for the role they play, and not be
overly critical of someone else because they don't see the same light in the
same intensity or same color as ourself.
JMHO,
Bob Walker, S4F
