Sadly since waking up, life often just seems like a countdown to death.
The big downside of leaving the cult.
I can feel my mortality more, but after 6 years since I left the cult I've come to terms with that. Instead life now seems to be full of opportunity. I only have one life and I might as well get the most from it, pursue my passions, and not to be afraid of failure or rejection. So even if it's a countdown, it should be a fun one along the way.