My big conflict didnt have to do with thinking maybe JWs were right.
My conflict came form two other things.
1. I was an elder for a long time and saw how elders in my hall often did so many stupid things that negatively affected the congregation or individual members. Most of this came for having Uneducated, Ignorant, Power hungry elders (who were not bad people) that thought they were doing the right things but were really not. Almost always feeling they had to be the RIGHT HAND of god dealing out punishment. I hated that so much. Also they could not speak or teach their way out of a paper bag.
I Felt that I needed to stick around to help mitigate the damage.
2. I spent years of hard work and special training I paid for to become a very good public speaker and teacher. I really enjoyed it and people responded with great appreciation.
Mostly because I was real and spoke to issues that made a difference in people's lives, and not just following a stupid outline. I talked about love a lot as well. I was used at conventions on talks that elders don't generally ever give. I also was giving the big talks at Elder Schools.
I LIKED IT. Since I gave up a real education and pursuing a career I really wanted to just do work to get my, this was my MAJOR VALIDATION in life.
It was hard giving it up.