Hello bonnie78 and welcome to the board:
You have the power to improve things in your life and you're making a good start by talking to others who've been in similar situations and who've had similar experiences.
God sees your struggle. He sees that you are the best mom you can be. He sees that you think of the welfare of others. He sees that you are a good worker and that you're thinking about your future. For these and other reasons he has granted you the great and terrible gift of introspection. He is waiting patiently for you to use this gift and so understand that you are not worthless. Who knows? Maybe He pointed out this board to you to help you out.