Yes, there's a heaven with a beer volcano and a stripper factory. At least according to the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
and:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
A year old religion, FSMism connects pasta and pirates in a spoof of ID (Intelligent Design) and of creationism.
What we need is a parallel spoof on Watchtowerism.
Skimmer
JoinedPosts by Skimmer
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Heaven with a beer volcano and a stripper factory
by Skimmer inyes, there's a heaven with a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
at least according to the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/flying_spaghetti_monster .
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Skimmer
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Toilets and gender - very light hearted discussion
by Qcmbr inat work we have four toilets per floor of which two are male and two female - we have about a 10 - 1 balance of men to women and so we got to bitching about how unfair it is that they (the ladies) get two toilets while we have to hike around looking for an available stall.
these toilets are single occupant rooms (as a toilet prude these are my favourite toilets of all time!
- i can't do 2's in public except in dire emergencies) but we got to talking about some of the other offices where the toilets are larger etc.. and several people are in there at one time.
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Skimmer
Some years ago I worked at a small company with a four to one male/female ratio and two unisex restrooms. Each room had a sliding bolt door lock on the inside to ensure privacy, and it seemed that everyone was satisfied with the situation.
At a clothing-optional campground I visit occasionally, there are a pair of restrooms (gender specific) with no exterior doors, but with interior stalls that do have doors. The showers are outside and camper families line up in the morning with soap, towel, and nothing else to get clean. There is neither embarrassment nor prurience.
I recall a discussion about unisex bathrooms with my college roommate some years ago as they had been recently introduced to the university. He supported them by saying that since most homes did not have separate men's/women's rooms, then there was little need for them elsewhere.
Nowadays, at least here in the United States, many of the larger public places have triplet restrooms: male, female, and baby-changing. Tounge-in-cheek, I suppose we could add anther pair for sexual orientation.
Wouldn't it be best for everyone to learn that: 1) there is no shame to natural body functions, and 2) unwanted advances are inappropriate regardless of locale. -
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WTS Running Out of Money? Letter to all congregations...
by drew sagan ina few days ago my wife commented on a letter sent out to all congregations (in the u.s.a.?
) regarding donations.
se said it was long and boaring, but in the end there where a few points she remembered.
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Skimmer
The Watchtower beg-a-thon of recent years is a big slide downwards of what it used to be in living memory. When I last set foot inside a KH some thirty three years ago, there was never any explicit begging, save for a one time local plea to assist with a few dollars to help pay for some desperately needed wood panelling.
Furthermore, the people who recruited me (I was a young teenager) made a really big point about the abscence of money solicitation. "That's what makes us different from Christendom" they said. "As long as Jehovah is with us, we'll never be seen begging for money." -
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Warning sign draws police complaint
by Skimmer insee: .
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006340639,00.html .
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Skimmer
Back in early 1973 when I was (briefly) associated, there was plenty of talk about the imminence of the Big A and the unconditional acceptance of 1975 as being the far limit to its occurance.
But, there was this closely kept rumor that someone high-up had discovered that it was to come in 1974 at the latest. The semi-official response was "not to speculate on 1974", although there was no such advice to not speculate on 1975.
Years later when I read _Crisis of Conscience_ I found out that Fred Franz did come up with the claim that 1974 was going to be the end limit, but others in the governing body dissuaded him from publicizing his "discovery".
But Freddie's "new light" managed to sneak out, at least to some congregagtions. -
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Is Field Service Going To Be The Key To The End Of The WatchTower Society?
by Honesty infor the past 6 months i have been speaking to church and youth groups in the surrounding area.
the topic has been how to show love to the jw's when they come to your door.
in the past, many of the people i talk with have been rude to the jw's.
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Skimmer
I keep a copy of one of the volumes of Crazy Russell's _Studies in the Scriptures_ handy. It's the real thing, about a hundred years old, complete with a WTBTS imprint on the copyright page along with the fold out pyramid chronology chart.
All I have to do is to show this to the hapless JWs at the door and suggest that this was not the only thing that the GB is hiding from them, and that further information is only a Google search away.
It's amusing that the "happiest people on Earth" can have such angry expressions at times. -
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WTS says its statistics are better!
by ozziepost inon jw-media, the official wt sitre, this is how the boys in crooklyn are describing thier membership figures:.
attendance at the annual memorial of christ's death.
16,760,607. total volunteer hours spent in public bible educational work.
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Skimmer
If taken literally, the above numbers show that nealy five thousand hours of field service are needed per one baptism. At ten hours per month it takes slightly over forty one years of part time preaching to make a single convert.
What a waste. -
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For those who think they know everything
by free2beme infor those of you who just thought you knew everything, here's a refresher course................ .
the liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.. .
no piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.. .
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Skimmer
Some comments:
The planet Uranus also rotates clockwise, and the rotation of planet Sedna is not clear at this time. (By the way, the Earth has three natural moons.)
Walt Disney, before he set out on his own, worked for another studio as a cartoonist. His speciality was "Oswald the Lucky Rabbit". Disney managed to catch and tame a mouse at work, named it Mortimer, and would feed it scraps concealed in his desk. When he started his own studio, his first idea was to name it's protagonist mouse character after his clandestine pet, but his wife convinced him to use the name "Mickey" instead. Incidentially, the early Mickey looked exactly like Oswald except for the ears.
Any acidic solution will dissolve pearls along with just about any other calcium based material, given enough time. Carbolic acid (cola) vs. dentin (teeth) gives a similar result. -
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Research Applications Watchtower CDs
by Unfinished Mystery inhi guys,.
i used to post here under the name of mark, but i lost my password... so this is my new identity!.
just a quick question.
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Skimmer
An old Greek proverb: "The fish rots from the head."
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new information on disfellowshipping
by cr1234 in.
is it true that jw's are going to seek out inactive ones and if they are not willing to go back to the kingdom hall that they will be disfellowshipped?
i heard that this is a new policy.. thanks
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Skimmer
If indeed the verbal instructions are to root out faders and threaten them with disfellowshipping (and I have no doubt here), then this completely at odds with the written policy: Do you shun former members? Those who become inactive in the congregation, perhaps even drifting away from association with fellow believers, are not shunned. As seen at: http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm