Posts by DarleneGatus

99

If not the WT/JW relgion where else are 'we' to go? Why not atheistic/scientific philosophical naturalism?

by Disillusioned JW in

sometimes jws wonder if the wt/jw is not the truth, 'then where else are we to go?

' i say 'why not atheistic/scientific philosophical naturalism and why not a secular philosophy which teaches a way of life?

' what do you folks say?.

DarleneGatus

When I was thinking about whether or not I still believed in a personal God I read a lot of books, including a couple on Biocentrism by Robert Lanza. I think it's possible to be spiritual and ethical but not need a personal God for wish fulfillment and to judge everyone. I have to admit that the first few years away from the religion I did not want to look at a Bible or hear scriptures quoted. So yes, DisillusionedJW, I think researching science and philosophy is a good idea when you are rebuilding your worldview after leaving JW.borg

38

Replacing God?

by punkofnice in

we seem to be if a more secular society here in the west, these days.

i'm speaking from the uk.. with the lack of belief in god/s, i'm wondering if all the seeming (note: i said seeming!

), deification of people like greta thunberg, george floyd and celebs amongst others, if people who have no real belief system, are filling the gap left by god with people?.

DarleneGatus

Social media has so much potential yet so often becomes yet another propaganda pyramid. Unless you ignore the hype and adapt it to your own purposes.

53

HM Queen Elizabeth is dead.

by stan livedeath in

long live the king..

DarleneGatus

Since this is the era of gender fluidity, we could save a lot of expense changing paper and engravings if only Charles would identify as the next Queen.

17

Tried to warn another mum

by DarleneGatus in

the thing that broke me was that i tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so i called her to talk about it since we both knew him and i had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom.

i called it inappropriate, but i never accused him of anything beyond that.. unfortunately, word got back to him and i had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who i felt had been inappropriate.

because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, i felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

DarleneGatus

It depends on how you DA'd and whether or not they thought they could or should talk you out of it.

If you are well known they have to announce it.

Whether they contact you before that announcement may depend on the relationship they think they have with you and your reputation and how many people are involved.

31

Latest jw broadcast referring to allegations of protecting pedophiles

by jonahstourguide in

hi folks.. i put this in abuse as i thought it relevant.. a physically in mentally out friend that considers our friendship greater than religion told me that on the latest broadcast steven lett alluded to satans voice being behind people that claim the organisation protects pedophiles.. my friend then went on to say they must be in damage control.. he added, but that is correct, they are hiding their internal records.

is not that construed as protecting the accused?.

if i get the inclination i may post a snippet of what was actually said.. sadly my friend is trying to protect his family relationships and so goes along with the charade.. his situation weighs on me but, as many of you here know, it can be a difficult road to travel.. jtg.

DarleneGatus

Unfortunately, this makes it even harder for a mum in a congregation to speak out to protect her own or another mum's child or children against a creepy brother because she would be accused of being the voice of Satan. Now how do you protect kids...?

17

Tried to warn another mum

by DarleneGatus in

the thing that broke me was that i tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so i called her to talk about it since we both knew him and i had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom.

i called it inappropriate, but i never accused him of anything beyond that.. unfortunately, word got back to him and i had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who i felt had been inappropriate.

because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, i felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

DarleneGatus

One more thing. The elder that bothered my son (nothing serious happened because I made such a stink about him not going near my son again) had a previous complainant in a congregation in South Africa that was more serious, and that mom left the organization to protect her child as well. So at least 2 witnesses, if you get my meaning. More moms need to talk...

17

Tried to warn another mum

by DarleneGatus in

the thing that broke me was that i tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so i called her to talk about it since we both knew him and i had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom.

i called it inappropriate, but i never accused him of anything beyond that.. unfortunately, word got back to him and i had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who i felt had been inappropriate.

because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, i felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

DarleneGatus

Thank you everyone. I have since disassociated, divorced, changed my name, and have sole custody of my two sons, including the younger son that was complaining about the inappropriate adults in the hall.

We left when my sons were 10 and 14 years of age, and nearly 5 years later they barely remember the religion so not too scarred by it, thankfully.

My ex-husband the elder was removed from being an elder after we left. The other elders were quite mad that I disassociated rather than waiting to be disfellowshipped, saying something to him to the effect that "you should have kept your wife under better control." When they texted me about my disassociation letter, I texted back that I was busy eating lunch because I didn't want to take the call. I thought of those elders, stomachs probably grumbling after an elders meeting following a Sunday morning meeting and how they probably thought I was so selfishly eating lunch, but oh well, it's kinda funny.

Anyway, the thing about the "two witness rule" that really got me was that even if 2 or more people complain about molestation or child sex abuse in regards to a specific perpetrator, the elders keep records but won't respond if there aren't 2 witnesses to the same events at the same time. Which seems to be a ridiculous mis-extension of scripture to the point where even someone as gullible as myself can no longer go along with it.

I hope their harm to children and society is finally recognized so they lose their tax-free status. Hit their assets, because that's all they really care about, in my opinion.

27

Is This New?

by Lost in the fog in

it is a very long time since i was an elder and the elders textbooks have changed multiple times since then.

going back to when i was an elder, to the best of my knowledge the only way a spouse could divorce from his/her partner was porneia, if that person had sexual relations with a man, woman, child, or beast.

but it had to be proven and that's the dubious 2 witness rule.. in fact, if it was not proven and the innocent party divorced and married someone else, then they could be hauled up in front of a judicial committee and be charged with committing adultery and disfellowshipped!

DarleneGatus

When I was seeking a divorce because I no longer believed and I thought it would be more humane to allow my husband to remarry in the religion, I dropped off a letter confessing to "adulterous behavior" after kissing someone at a party and that was enough to allow him to remarry when he chose. I had also sent a letter of disassociation stating that I no longer wished to be a member. I felt that was better so that both my ex and I could pursue new relationships that would make us happier. There is no need for 2 witnesses if there is a written confession and no one will follow up on the details of the confession if the confessor has disassociated.

22

How Many Of You Knew Something Was Really Wrong Growing Up JW? What was Your First Clue?

by Sea Breeze in

this is directed to born-ins.

around age 10 or 12 is when it first hit me.

i started asking questions about how the world worked and i really wanted an honest opinion from my parents.

DarleneGatus

Both of my sons were born in the religion, and each of them starting questioning doctrine around the age of 8 or 9, then by age 11 or 12 they would admit they didn't believe it if allowed to do so. Their dad, my ex-husband, was an elder and they wouldn't talk to him about it because he would get angry, but they would tell me. I think I would still be attending if not for my children. Some thought I was a "spoiler" because I was always taking them to parks or gyms and associate with kids in the neighborhood, but I am glad that they were strong enough to have their own thoughts and speak their mind.

17

Tried to warn another mum

by DarleneGatus in

the thing that broke me was that i tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so i called her to talk about it since we both knew him and i had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom.

i called it inappropriate, but i never accused him of anything beyond that.. unfortunately, word got back to him and i had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who i felt had been inappropriate.

because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, i felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

DarleneGatus

The thing that broke me was that I tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so I called her to talk about it since we both knew him and I had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom. I called it inappropriate, but I never accused him of anything beyond that.

Unfortunately, word got back to him and I had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who I felt had been inappropriate. Because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, I felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

I know that the above probably sounds very minor compared to what some have suffered, but it opened my eyes to the realization that protecting children was not a priority, and how congregations have become less friendly to mothers and children over the years. I had hoped to change that at one point, because my husband was the elder and presiding overseer, but I finally realized there was nothing I could do to change the culture.