Posts by DarleneGatus

22

Upbringing

by punkofnice in

i was brought up as a born-in(tm) here in the uk.

it wasn't until i was 50 that the scales fell from my eyes, i woke up, got da'd from the cult and my wife was advised to leave me by the elders whom i had served with on the boe.

one of which i know wanted to schtupf her.

I've come to the realization that the probable reason that I ended up in the JW religion was that I come from a rather dysfunctional family. Not that I'd blame my parents exactly, because they came to Canada seeking a better life from a Europe where they suffered the effects of war and starvation. Parents can't give you what they never had themselves, now can they? So many of us came to what we hoped was a warm and loving religious community to have our unmet needs met and hoping for the security of a personal relationship with an almighty God.

I put off having children because I was trying to be a good JW but at the age of 49 I had to wake up to the fact that the religion was harming my sons and I had wasted the best years of my life.

As a single mum, I can't see myself paying $200 an hour for therapy so I've been reading a fair bit and am slowly coming to terms with the issues that led me to that dysfunctional religion in the first place. Am I the only one who sees the JW leadership as more and more narcissistic over the years, in terms of a GB that is more out of touch with the needs of ordinary people and families and more grandiose than ever?

For more information about narcissistic traits, I would recommend the following as quite helpful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V87G95bGTTk

One thing the therapist says in this video that really resonated with me was that prolonged exposure to people with narcissistic traits is harmful to your mental health in the same way that exposure to second-hand smoke is harmful to your physical health.

Would anyone else here be interested in a new discussion thread on narcissism in JW leadership?

(BTW, so sorry, punkofnice, that creepy elder you reference sounds narcissistic to me.)

53

HM Queen Elizabeth is dead.

by stan livedeath in

long live the king..

DarleneGatus

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/indigenous-leaders-call-on-king-charles-iii-to-renounce-doctrine-of-discovery-1.6064497

53

HM Queen Elizabeth is dead.

by stan livedeath in

long live the king..

DarleneGatus

I think maybe she was a Great Queen to the English and the Scots, with whom she felt kinship, and less so to the colonies and the indigenous. I am still in shock over what has been revealed as happening within residential schools, and have a hard time reconciling that with the person who held the crown for our government, within that "Commonwealth."

38

Replacing God?

by punkofnice in

we seem to be if a more secular society here in the west, these days.

i'm speaking from the uk.. with the lack of belief in god/s, i'm wondering if all the seeming (note: i said seeming!

), deification of people like greta thunberg, george floyd and celebs amongst others, if people who have no real belief system, are filling the gap left by god with people?.

DarleneGatus

If you look at history, enoughisenough, there have been many cataclysms on our little planet, such as the Permian extinction and the event that took down the dinosaurs, but none of these "end times" has been followed by a paradisaic New World Order. Would be nice though, without dictators or people like the GB ordering people about. Maybe it would be better to hope for some kind of reincarnation?

99

If not the WT/JW relgion where else are 'we' to go? Why not atheistic/scientific philosophical naturalism?

by Disillusioned JW in

sometimes jws wonder if the wt/jw is not the truth, 'then where else are we to go?

' i say 'why not atheistic/scientific philosophical naturalism and why not a secular philosophy which teaches a way of life?

' what do you folks say?.

DarleneGatus

When I was thinking about whether or not I still believed in a personal God I read a lot of books, including a couple on Biocentrism by Robert Lanza. I think it's possible to be spiritual and ethical but not need a personal God for wish fulfillment and to judge everyone. I have to admit that the first few years away from the religion I did not want to look at a Bible or hear scriptures quoted. So yes, DisillusionedJW, I think researching science and philosophy is a good idea when you are rebuilding your worldview after leaving JW.borg

38

Replacing God?

by punkofnice in

we seem to be if a more secular society here in the west, these days.

i'm speaking from the uk.. with the lack of belief in god/s, i'm wondering if all the seeming (note: i said seeming!

), deification of people like greta thunberg, george floyd and celebs amongst others, if people who have no real belief system, are filling the gap left by god with people?.

DarleneGatus

Social media has so much potential yet so often becomes yet another propaganda pyramid. Unless you ignore the hype and adapt it to your own purposes.

53

HM Queen Elizabeth is dead.

by stan livedeath in

long live the king..

DarleneGatus

Since this is the era of gender fluidity, we could save a lot of expense changing paper and engravings if only Charles would identify as the next Queen.

17

Tried to warn another mum

by DarleneGatus in

the thing that broke me was that i tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so i called her to talk about it since we both knew him and i had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom.

i called it inappropriate, but i never accused him of anything beyond that.. unfortunately, word got back to him and i had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who i felt had been inappropriate.

because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, i felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

DarleneGatus

It depends on how you DA'd and whether or not they thought they could or should talk you out of it.

If you are well known they have to announce it.

Whether they contact you before that announcement may depend on the relationship they think they have with you and your reputation and how many people are involved.

31

Latest jw broadcast referring to allegations of protecting pedophiles

by jonahstourguide in

hi folks.. i put this in abuse as i thought it relevant.. a physically in mentally out friend that considers our friendship greater than religion told me that on the latest broadcast steven lett alluded to satans voice being behind people that claim the organisation protects pedophiles.. my friend then went on to say they must be in damage control.. he added, but that is correct, they are hiding their internal records.

is not that construed as protecting the accused?.

if i get the inclination i may post a snippet of what was actually said.. sadly my friend is trying to protect his family relationships and so goes along with the charade.. his situation weighs on me but, as many of you here know, it can be a difficult road to travel.. jtg.

DarleneGatus

Unfortunately, this makes it even harder for a mum in a congregation to speak out to protect her own or another mum's child or children against a creepy brother because she would be accused of being the voice of Satan. Now how do you protect kids...?

17

Tried to warn another mum

by DarleneGatus in

the thing that broke me was that i tried to warn another mum in the congregation about a brother who was inappropriate with my son, which upset me, and so i called her to talk about it since we both knew him and i had also seen him pin her daughter down on the sofa and slap the girl's bottom.

i called it inappropriate, but i never accused him of anything beyond that.. unfortunately, word got back to him and i had to go in front of 3 elders, including the brother who i felt had been inappropriate.

because they came down on me for trying to stop the behavior, and not on him for being the cause of upset, i felt very hurt and started questioning more things.

DarleneGatus

One more thing. The elder that bothered my son (nothing serious happened because I made such a stink about him not going near my son again) had a previous complainant in a congregation in South Africa that was more serious, and that mom left the organization to protect her child as well. So at least 2 witnesses, if you get my meaning. More moms need to talk...