zophar

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Posts by zophar

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  91

  Setback

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

  i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

  then she decided she would attend the memorial.

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  zophar

  So sorry for your dilemma.

  It does sound like you have a good marriage in many ways and I'm happy to hear you are not seriously thinking of divorce. Hope the same is true of your thinking of suicide, you are not seriously considering it.

  I notice you mention the Sister studying with your wife that she and her husband are a nice couple. That tells me you are a very balanced person. You have strong feelings against the Org, based on logic, research and study, but you can still recognize that their are nice people that are part of it. Focus on that because that is what your wife is seeing. She is going to church at the Kingdom Hall just like millions of people do in their respective religions. "The Truth" isn't as important as the social structure and her lifelong friends. I actually think that should be encouraging for you.

  Don't panic or rush. Let her know how this is making you feel without accusing her of trying to be hurtful to you, just report how you "feel". I think you have a strong enough marriage that you will see good results from this.

  Our goal in life should not be to change one another but to love one another.

  I hope the best for you and your wife. Sorry to hear of the death of her mother.
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  10

  Jim Trafacant

  by Jeannette in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  jim trafacant was involved in a very serious farm accident and is in a medically-induced coma.

  has anyone heard how his is doing this morning?.

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  zophar

  It is spelled Traficant
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  47

  i was happy before i woke up

  by losingit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  idk if waking up has been good for me.

  i still have almost no friends.

  im still waiting to graduate this december to qualify n b certified for my job.

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  zophar

  Flipper
• 
  47

  i was happy before i woke up

  by losingit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  idk if waking up has been good for me.

  i still have almost no friends.

  im still waiting to graduate this december to qualify n b certified for my job.

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  zophar

  Jgnat. It is partly what I do and partly hypothetical. At some point one has to stand firm by their convictions if they really are going to be true to themselves. But one can also be cautious as a serpent as to who they "preach" to.

  I don't know if this is a good illustration or not. The Govt requires I pay taxes. I don't agree with a war they are waging that will use some of my tax money. That is their responsibility how they use my money, I fulfilled my obligation.

  Since I don't think God requires me to "count time" but JW do I can fulfill that requirement on my terms. It is not ideal but I still feel true to myself. Revealing TTATT where and when I can.
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  47

  i was happy before i woke up

  by losingit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  idk if waking up has been good for me.

  i still have almost no friends.

  im still waiting to graduate this december to qualify n b certified for my job.

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  zophar

  Jgnat

  "Field Service" or counting time?

  It all depends on one's definition of "sacred service." When Raymond Franz was still on the GB he was instrumental in changing the WT definition of that term. It basically means living day to day as a Christian or displaying Christ like qualities. It has NOTHING to do with "field service" or going door to door. So one can turn in a preaching report without going out in "field ministry". And when talking with others you can tell TTATT.

  It comes back to who you allow to make rules for you.
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  47

  i was happy before i woke up

  by losingit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  idk if waking up has been good for me.

  i still have almost no friends.

  im still waiting to graduate this december to qualify n b certified for my job.

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  zophar

  WallsofJericho said something interesting that I have struggled with as well

  call me fake

  Who is calling us fake?? We do it to ourselves. Don't let JW control who you are. If they say we are fake, that's their problem. We are being real for the first time. It really comes down to not letting them have control...especially mentally.. of how we feel about ourselves.

  Shakespeare may have said it best: "This above all: to thine own self be true,"

  The hard part is what LOSINIT is going through, the letting go of what OTHERS think. Some can do it the way Walls is and it works for them. It usually takes some time, but it comes. And the "fake" part we realize was what we were doing when we ignored our nagging doubts. Now we are real and who cares what the hardliners think.

  LosingIt: I hope you have a good day today and find joy in your true self.
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  5

  Depression and Faith

  by Joe Grundy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is only jw (should that be jw.org now?

  ) related in that it is connected with religious faith which dominates a person's life.

  but many similarities, i feel.. i never was a dub, was raised in a 'gospel hall' tradition, have been for many years an agnostic/atheist and am a fairly cynical/suspicious individual as befits an ex-30 year detective.

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  zophar

  Joe, you are a good friend. And that is what your Bil needs now more than ever. I feel so bad for you because I can sense how bad you feel for him.

  I overheard a man in a restaurant talking to his wife and he said to her, "What is the best thing to say, when you don't know what to say?" She said, "I don't know." and he said, "Nothing."

  That has been a hard lesson for me to learn. At times, just say nothing! Be there, that is all that you can do. You probably don't have the answer, I know I haven't had it many times. Despite thinking most of my life as a JW that I had ALL the answers! What an arrogant %^@ I must have been.

  You have one great thing that he needs. You love him as your Bil. That is all you can give. And Brother, that is special.

  I hope the best for both of you. Your comment really touched a chord with me in my life and situation.
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  22

  Did You Believe That You Were Going To Live Forever?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in either heaven or earth?.

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  zophar

  When I was a young pioneer, my Circuit Overseer was Mark Lett......yes, the father of Stephen Lett of the GB. It was the early 70's and Mark was convinced Armageddon was near. So was I. He was a great guy and I am convinced he was totally convinced the end was near. I remember his telling me that he felt that before Armageddon there would be a big increase of Pioneers. His thinking was that when tribulation hit we would have nothing left to do but Pioneer. I wholeheartedly agreed. My wife and I were Pioneers and bought in to the whole idea that the end was near.

  I would not say we were 75'ers but did feel the end was near...... And so it is 2014. Mark Lett is dead and so is his wife. I am a Senior Citizen and there is no end. No retirement, no end in site and poor health! Who do I blame? The Org would probably say I should blame mysellf!....they are never wrong. Really, I'm just bummed. I am ready to admit when I am wrong......wish the Org felt the same way. I blame myself, and they blame me too!

  This is just a screwed up way to live!
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  20

  Have you seen "Knock! Knock!"?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i thought it was a genuinely old silent movie.

  it was prepared for the delegates of the international conventions.

  a young man in a sound car goes to different homes in the neighborhood, and comes upon a bereaved husband with two young daughters.

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  zophar

  @insidetheKH Thanks for the info.

  UNBELIEVABLE! I can't believe that "Millions Now Living" is still being held up as something to be proud of. How do you boast about a failed prophecy?They are all dead! Is the older lady at the end, young girl in 1918, part of the Millions of 100+ year olds that are Living?
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  20

  Have you seen "Knock! Knock!"?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i thought it was a genuinely old silent movie.

  it was prepared for the delegates of the international conventions.

  a young man in a sound car goes to different homes in the neighborhood, and comes upon a bereaved husband with two young daughters.

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  zophar

  "......do all I can to be a warm and loving friend to these dear people."

  I really appreciate what you are going through. Sounds like you were too effective as a JW by bringing in others! Like you, I feel a personal responsibility toward such ones, especially the ones I personally helped in.

  Regarding the movie. Where exactly is it from? Does anyone know? It was not shown at the 2014 International Conventions.