Dear Untruth
I have similar circumstances except older and longer time as an elder. Glad you woke up about 20 yrs younger than I did!
I have found it helpful to mention how many of the terms we use are not even in the Bible. Like overlap and organization etc. Also, why did we adjust so many times if Jehovah was leading. Generation, we have changed our understanding at least 6 different times. Or Superior Authorities, we said at first it was the governments, then Jehovah and then back to the governments...how is that "tacking" or an adjustment, why would we be directed away from a more correct understanding to an incorrect one and then back to the correct one?
You have a real challenge ahead of you and I am sorry for you. My wife finally started agreeing with me when she didn't have the answers herself. Also, I have been able to voice opinions to more open minded ones in the cong without acting like a doubter but just, "I can't get my head around this overlapping generation understanding, how about you?" Amazing that this seems to be a signal for them to open up and freely express their doubts, then when alone I comment on this to my wife, "seems like they are struggling with this too." Very helpful, since it is them saying it as well not just me.
The recent WT Study on undeserved kindness opened the way for some good discussions as well. I mentioned how I used to belittle the, "saved by grace" comments would get in FS but really, they have it right. How nice not to feel condemned or pushed, but just enjoying God's favor or undeserved kindness and being less hard on myself thinking I'm never good enough.
I use the Interlinear a lot as well and I always strive to share interesting things I learn from this publication, produced by the FDS, to show the inconsistencies.
I hope things work out for you. This is a long journey if you wish to preserve your marriage and you will have many ups and downs. I really empathize with you.