Very thoughtful post. It is like your blood relatives, how many would you still have if you CHOSE who your relatives would be vs sharing a bloodline?
Perhaps the desire for unity that was instilled in us, causes us to expect such with new friendships.
Obviously, in ex JW world Atheists, Agnostics, Born Again Believers, Catholics, Pagan, religiously apathetic and, no doubt, many other catagories I've failed to mention, exist and thrive!
It is like we are on a journey and we do not know what our final destination will be. Now, when we choose friends, it is because WE, our TRUE genuine selves decide who we want to be friends with and what our shared interests are. Thus we may be very naive as to the whole process.
When I look at posts from folks like Flipper and read about the yearly gathering in Tahoe, I get the impression that many who come have moved a bit further than I have from the JW experience and now, they are just friends that happen to share a common background of experiences. On the other hand, you have those who have become almost militaristic in their Active Opposition to JW's and seem driven by it. Unfortunately, that may just be evidence of the very real, very deep hurt they experienced inside the organization.
"Life is a journey, not a destination!"