ExB: How would you know if you are deliberately lying to yourself?
Because it's deliberate. I'd love for there to be a god and an eternal future and a universe that makes sense on that level. But wanting something to be true doesn't make it believable if the evidence doesn't convince me.
ExB: there is nobody like God to care?
Ah, but there is someone like god to care. Human societies have developed hierarchies and governments and legal structures backed by force. Tell me, when someone commits a crime, who is it that arrests them, tries them, and jails them? God? Or the state?
If I had no restraint and went about my life harming others, what would happen? Would god step in and prevent me from taking action? Or would it be the people around me, from the average passer-by to the agents of the state? People commit crimes all the time and it isn't god who steps in. How many of those criminals will claim to believe in god? Why didn't that belief stop them from doing wrong?