jp1692

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Posts by jp1692

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  24

  Forgiveness

  by Freedom rocks in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if someone does the same things over and over again and says sorry and then does it again and you point out that their apologies don't mean anything anymore, then they accuse you of not being forgiving enough, who is in the wrong?

  (i mean as in constantly over a long period of time).

  im trying to work out whether it was just part of the persons mental/ emotional manipulation tactics or whether i have the wrong view and i'm not forgiving enough.

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  jp1692

  Forgiveness is a choice.

  It is as much—maybe even more—for you than the one seeking forgiveness.

  Not everyone or everything should be forgiven.
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  33

  How many child molesters do you personally know of in the J.W's?

  by karter in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  were are they now and what position are they in.. lets do a running count.. c.o.b.e was interfering with his daughter,d.f,reinstated died in good standing.. branch oveersear multiple young children d.f,reinstated in good standing.. publisher interfeared with small child in the k.h d.f not sure were he is.. publisher sexually abused 3 relatives no action taken in good standing.. current elder raped his sister years ago little action taken was not an elder at the time.. publisher sexualy abused young girl d.f,reinstater now in good standing.. m.s multiple young girls d.f,died trying to get reinstated.. so thats 7.. karter..

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  jp1692

  About two years after I left the religion, I was very disturbed to learn that a MS that had been in my congregation about a decade previously had been sexually abusing a 14-year old girl in another congregation nearby.

  It didn’t come out until about nine years later when the girl—now a young woman—went to the police.

  The man was arrested and served a year in prison with a year of probation after that. He is still listed on websites as a registered sex offender.

  It was well reported on in the local papers at the time of his arrest.

  Apparently no one knew about it at the time, except of course the guilty party and his unfortunate victim.

  It’s good she had the courage to later come forward and hold her abuser accountable for his crimes.

  I later heard roundabout that the perp was reinstated and accepted back into the congregation.

  In sharp contrast and in typical JW fashion, the young woman was kicked out and ostracized for outing her attacker and “bringing reproach on Jehovah and his organization.”

  Let’s review: It’s a cult!
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  28

  Great news!

  by Half banana in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it's a case of two down and one to go.

  my darling daughter has announced to the extended family that she has left jehovah's witnesses!

  deep joy!.

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  jp1692

  This is great news, thanks for sharing!
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  48

  Healing & Rebuilding Your Life - Feedback Wanted

  by jp1692 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been invited to speak at an international cultic studies association workshop this fall.

  i could use your help in focusing on my presentation subject.. these workshops are for former members of any cult or other high-control, authoritarian group, not just jehovah's witnesses.

  last year, i spoke at one of their larger conferences in europe.

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  jp1692

  Again, thanks to all that have responded. It really helps when you rank the topics, particularly when you make it clear what you think is most/least important. I’m keeping score and using it to help me focus my presentation.

  Your follow-up comments are also adding a lot of clarity.

  TO BE CLEAR: there are obviously a lot of other topics I could discuss, many of which are important. But I have already committed to presenting on one of the six from the OP. I’m just trying to get a sense from my fellow forum members which of these you think would have been most useful to you when you left the cult and similarly for others. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

  OTWO: so are you saying that you think “Treatments & Interventions” is the most important issue for people that have left a cult? What do you think is the least important from my list and why?

  Stuck, thanks for the kind words. I want to be sure I’m understanding you. Similar to what I asked OTWO above, do you think “Discovering Your Authentic Self“ is our most important issue after leaving a cult? How would you rank the others.

  CoCo, I always love your non-linear approach! I look forward to your promised “more later.”

  SBF, I want to explore your thoughts on the “authentic self” concept, but again, I don’t want to bias the discussion just yet with my views so I’ll circle back to this later. In the meantime I’m enjoying everyone’s contributions!

  Again, many thanks to all for your feedback and suggestions. They are greatly appreciated.
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  15

  Starting a X-Cult support group. Any suggestions?

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mrs. add and i have seen a need in our area for this.

  it all started over month ago when she gave her yearly talk on what is a cult at our local uu congregation.

  their was several newcomers in the audience who have recently left the high control cults.

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  jp1692

  I saw this thread when it was first posted and meant to comment but got sidetracked ...

  There is an organization known as the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA). I have attended a couple of their conferences and workshops and will actually be presenting at one coming up in the fall. (Click here for details.)

  As stated on their website: "ICSA is a global network of people concerned about psychological manipulation and abuse in cultic or high-demand groups, alternative movements, and other environments."

  You might find some of their resources helpful in your endeavor to create a support group for ex-cult members.

  I know that I greatly benefitted from participating at the conference and workshop I attended. One of the biggest takeaways for me was learning that -- although all cults seem superficially very different -- all cults are essentially very similar. It's all about one thing: control.
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  48

  Healing & Rebuilding Your Life - Feedback Wanted

  by jp1692 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been invited to speak at an international cultic studies association workshop this fall.

  i could use your help in focusing on my presentation subject.. these workshops are for former members of any cult or other high-control, authoritarian group, not just jehovah's witnesses.

  last year, i spoke at one of their larger conferences in europe.

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  jp1692

  Thanks to all that have posted. Your comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated and very helpful.

  I'm not going to directly respond to any posts just yet as I don't want to bias any future posters, but I did want to let you know that I've read and appreciated all of the comments so far.

  Thanks again!

  jp
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  9

  11 new things made illegal in a relationship

  by Amelia Ashton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was subjected to more than one of these whilst married.

  a partner should be treated as an equal.

  i wonder how that will work out in a jw household?.

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  jp1692

  Funny, they're trying to outlaw narcissistic behavior.

  Good luck with that!
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  48

  Healing & Rebuilding Your Life - Feedback Wanted

  by jp1692 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been invited to speak at an international cultic studies association workshop this fall.

  i could use your help in focusing on my presentation subject.. these workshops are for former members of any cult or other high-control, authoritarian group, not just jehovah's witnesses.

  last year, i spoke at one of their larger conferences in europe.

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  jp1692

  I have been invited to speak at an International Cultic Studies Association workshop this fall. I could use your help in focusing on my presentation subject.

  These workshops are for former members of any cult or other high-control, authoritarian group, not just Jehovah's Witnesses. Last year, I spoke at one of their larger conferences in Europe. In attendance were former cult members of all kinds, people born or raised in cultic groups, families, mental health professionals, researchers, and educators.

  At a workshop I attended last fall -- and which is similar to the one I will be presenting at this year -- there were many former cult members and their families and friends in the audience, but not too many mental health professionals, researchers, or educators.

  The theme I have chosen for my presentation is: Healing & Rebuilding Your Life.

  My intended audience will range from those that have recently left a cult to those who have some distance but are either still dealing with ex-cult issues or are trying to help someone else that is.

  There are six subjects that I am currently considering for my presentation:

  1. The Five Stages of Grief/loss (Kübler-Ross model)
  2. Examining Our Beliefs: Identifying the false and harmful (dysfunctional) core beliefs which are the root cause of our on-going difficulties after leaving
  3. Psychoeducation - this is closely related to #2 above, but is frankly more technical
  4. Treatments & Interventions - seeking treatments from working with mental health professionals to self-help
  5. Discovering Your Authentic Self - (personal identity)
  6. Dealing With Isolation and Loneliness (shunning)

  As I will only have twenty minutes to present (plus 10 minutes for Q&A), I really need to focus on just one or maybe two at most of the above topics.

  So here is my request: take a look at the above list of six topics and rank in order 1-6 (1 being highest, 6 lowest) which topics you believe would be of most benefit to either yourself or others in our current journey post-JWs. Please indicate how long it's been since you left the religion.

  Feel free to leave any other comments, explanations, suggestions and/or questions.

  Thanks in advance,

  jp
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  21

  You are NOT alone !

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this post is mainly for our new forum visitors and members.

  perhaps even those who are just lurking or visiting here but have not yet signed up.

  maybe you are in the initial stages of researching and finding out the earthshattering and life changing information about the religion that you once held dear and called “the truth”.. it can be a very stressful period of time as you realise that your whole foundation has changed and that the people in your life that you call friends or family may not take kindly to the things you have discovered.

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  jp1692

  Leaving this religion when it's all you've ever known is very stressful and can cause great anxiety.

  It can indeed be difficult to come to terms with the reality that we have been lied to and betrayed by a religion we believed in and people we trusted.

  It is also heartbreaking to find that none of our relationships are sacred. So many of us have lost friends and family -- parents, children, siblings and spouses -- when we left this religion.

  And yet, things can and do get better.

  Indeed, when we leave a dysfunctional, high-control and abusive relationship we open ourselves up for greater opportunities.

  By leaving behind the highly-conditional relationships formed in the Jehovah's Witness religion we can begin to make new and better relationships.

  We will find people that love and appreciate us for WHO we really are, and not WHAT we (pretend to) believe.
  
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  16

  Jehovah`s Witnesses Do Not Have a Clergy Class.

  by smiddy3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  no , they have the governing body { some would say the popes of the religion }.

  and you do not under any circumstance go against what they say./ .

  they also have branch overseers , district overseers .circuit overseers , and elders in a congregation .. they are all up and above the rank and file of the average ordinary jehovah`s witness and they are looked upon as such by the rank and file member as equivalent to a clergy class.. oh and lets not forget the legal department that has a lot to say in how the jehovah`s witness organization responds to allegations of child sexual abuse around the world.. and when an allegation arises about child sexual abuse the w.t.

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  jp1692

  A key difference is that Catholic priests are highly educated having a minimum of a Bachelor's degree followed up with 2-4 years of seminary studies. Many also have a Master's degree as well; whereas JW elders are almost universally not very well educated.

  The couple of hours or few-days-long workshops that JWs have and call "Elder Schools" are a joke.

  JW elders are completely unqualified for their roles in the congregations. It's a wonder they don't cause more damage than they do, and I'm well aware of the extensive damage they cause.