I have heard from a reliable source that the witchpower libel and crap society with it's governing body stands unified by a 5 year plan to introduce what they call "pure language".
The rank and file have accepted saying there is room for improvement in our language:
In the first year, "S" will be used instead of the soft "C". Sertainly obedient servants of God's people will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard "C" will be replaced with "K". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "PH" will be replased by "F". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. The governing body will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of silent "E"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptive to steps such as replasing "TH" by "Z" and "W' by "V". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "O" kan be droped from vords kontaing "OU", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ziz fifz yer, ve vil have a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls of difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.