Dear Cassi,
Thank you for the lovely song. I appreciate the sentiment. We need to stop and feel the breeze often in our hectic lives. People come and go so suddenly here.
Tammy
Posts by Swan
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40A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Dear Mulan,
Thank you very much.
We cooked meals, made gallons of coffee I think, and began planning her memorial service. For the adults it seemed good, but my brother's teenage daughters were left feeling that they shouldn't cry, and it wasn't good for them. We all went to the meeting at their KH that night (Ministry School and Service Meeting). We went on with our lives as though she hadn't died. I know now that we all just suppressed our grief. That isn't a good thing. I will never forget the blank faces on their girls. How they got through it, I don't know.
So, I am glad you are taking some time off of work. I am so sorry for your loss.
Her memorial was on Saturday night. How much do you want to bet (knowing that you just got back from Vegas) that my family showed up at the meeting on Sunday morning? My grandmother died in the hospital while we were all at the Sunday meeting. Life goes on in the WTBTS. What a crock!
Tammy
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Dear Beck,
I think you are right. In their view funerals are just another chance to witness to unbelievers.
Death is a terrible thing...no matter what side of the fence we are on. Its just so sad to see the WT tell people how to mourn like its some kind of show...i hated that.
It is a show. It is all about bringing unbelievers into the KH where they wouldn't normally be caught dead, but come out of respect to the dead person and their family. It is also supposed to be a wake up call to the disfellowshipped and inactive family members to mend their ways or they will never see their loved one again. It is really a very diabolical way to manipulate people's emotions, rather than to give them a chance purge their emotions and to begin to heal.
Thank you.
Tammy
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Dear Capp,
Thank you. I wrote the story about the sheep as if it were to the young children I once knew. I know that most of them are grown up now and beyond fairy tales, but I am hoping to reach their hearts and the memories of me with this story. If they ever do want to leave the cult, then I want them to know I will be there for them. If they do not, I accept their right to their beliefs, however painful they may be.
Tammy
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Dear Joy,
Thank you so much!
Hang in there Tammy, give yourself time to grieve, not only about your neice but the loss of your family that you deal with everyday. (shunning)
It is really hard now because she is now lost to me in death as well. I remember so painfully the look on her face when it became apparent that I was leaving them. (Yet I never actually did. My disassociation was from Jehovah's Witnesses. I made it very clear to my family that I would always welcome contact from them).
I just wish I had one more chance to explain it all to her.
The others I have hope for. Maybe in time...
Tammy
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Ruby,
Thank you.
Im just curious why you where not allowed to see your neice?
I was told by my brother not to come to his house any more when I DAed myself. I had to respect his wishes in this manner, so that maybe one day he would respect me. He had someone call me the other day with the tragic news, so apparently he did respect me enough to keep me informed. I have had aunts and uncles die that my parents never bothered to tell me about, but my brother, with all that he was going through, thought to let me know the bad news in a phone call rather than reading an obit.
My point is everyone grieves differently and everyone should be allowed to grieve their own way!! I feel so strongly about this.Don't ever let anyone tell you how to react to anything.Just let it out the way you want.
Exactly. Some people even laugh or make crude jokes. But those are too just ways that some people express their deepest emotions. Angry, grief, sadness, remorse, guilt, blame, laughter are what make us most human. To deny our emotions often times locks us in a place where we can't move on.
Tammy
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Thank you Minimus, Professor, and Lilacs. I think it is part of cult mind control to also control the emotions of the subject, isn't it? Maybe that is the reason.
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Thank you Prisca. I think that I will do that. Every August 21st will hereafter and forevermore be known as Krystal Kae Day. Flowers to celebrate the beautiful life of a beautiful young lady.
Tammy
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40
A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn
by Swan inlast week my niece died in a car crash.
she was only 18 years old.
i haven't seen her since she was 10. i missed her all that time.
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Swan
Last week my niece died in a car crash. She was only 18 years old. I haven't seen her since she was 10. I missed her all that time. Now I miss her even more. I wish I could have said goodbye, but I was forbidden to talk to her. I didn't have enough time to go to her funeral. It was halfway across the country and I had less than 24 hours notice. I was allowed to send flowers.
I went to work today, thinking that work would help keep me busy and keep my mind off of the tragedy. It didn't. Halfway through the day I talked to my boss and took bereavement leave. So now I am home, thinking a lot, crying a lot, and trying to keep busy around the house. I try to find joy in the simple things and appreciate being alive, because you never know how short it will be.
When I went to my first funeral, I was about 10. My grandmother had died. My grandfather bawled. My brother and I started crying too, but my great grandmother and my mother told us to hush up because it would give a bad witness. We were told that it showed a lack of faith to cry at funerals and that we should be strong to show unbelievers our faith in the resurrection.
Why is that? Did any of you encounter this pressure not to grieve? In Ecclesiastes chapter 3 it talks about there being a time to weep and mourn. If wise King Solomon says it's okay to cry and grieve, why is it frowned upon or seen as a lack of faith to sincerely express those emotions at a JW funeral?
Just one of the many things that has been on my mind today as I reflect.
Tammy
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25
NEVER MEET ALONE WITH A SISTER!!!
by minimus indo you know why the society says this?
regardless of whether the meeting is for the purpose of shepherding, sharing bible advice,or simply giving encouragement, "she could develop romantic feelings for the elder.it is possible for an elder to develop improper feelings for a sister he is comforting or counseling.
it is especially important never to meet with a sister alone when the sister being assisted has been a victim of abuse, suffers from depression,or for any other reason is in a delicate emotional state.a woman in such an emotional may be more vulnerable and may be prone to develop improper feelings toward an elder meeting with her.
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Swan
This is a normal psychological feeling between counselor/patient called transference and counter-transference. The thing is, it can happen between a same sex counselor/patient too, although not as often. Yet they never warn elders about that aspect of it. These poor guys are so under-educated and ill-equipped when it comes to playing shrink. The WTBTS is setting them up for failure.
Tammy