spider

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Posts by spider

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  18

  Hello...looking for some experiences

  by Waido in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am the mother of a 25yr.

  old daughter...she has broken off her engagement to her young man..after discovering that they have a few differences in beliefs...she is sick at heart and so am i..after a year of dating they got engaged...then a year later..she dicovers he is an inactive jw...they lived together...and she has a two year old baby..he is not the father...but he is a wonderful man..and really was very good to her and my grandson...my grandson calls him daddy...well the issures started popping up...all of the sudden...he is a jw...and he doesnt celebrate...anything...not so much said..as he doesnt show for the festivities...sort of passive restance...long story short..they started discussing..issures..and my daughter freaks over the not accepting transfusions...her precious baby...not save his life!!

  !...she is not a staunch christian...but she has absorbed beleifs having been raised in my church...now she is laying here with tears...and trying to figure out how they can make this work....he says that she can raise the baby in her beilfs...and they could just each beleive what they beleive...she is in that same mode..her heart hurts..and she wants to figure out a way that all this will work...she keeps asking me...she is twenty-five...i am her monther...i am heartsick...i want my daughters happiness...for the long haul...we discussed about the words warning of being unevenly yoked...i was hoping prehaps she could get some of your experinces....and your insight....thank you....

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  spider

  It is difficult to give good advice without knowing more about the boyfriend and where his head is at. If they have been together two years and living in the same residence and yet she only discovered his beliefs recently then he is obviously inactive as you state. He is not going to meetings or going in the service and he is living with a non witness which a witness should NEVER do. So in effect he is not a witness as far as his lifestyle is concerned.

  The trouble is that by the sound of it, he still believes the witnesses have the truth. This is what would need to change for his attitudes about holidays and blood to alter. Even though he is not living the witness life, his mind is still being deeply affected by decades of programming which do not just vanish because he ceases to go to meetings. One is told so many times that blood is wrong that one actually develops a phobia of it - going to a christmas party might seem unnatural(because one has never gone to them) and also might prompt guilty feelings for those that still believe that it is wrong.

  So what to do? While he still believes the witnesses have the truth there will always be the danger that he will go back. And even if he doesn't and it just carried on as it was, he would continue to have these and other issues. The best thing would be for him to learn that the witnesses are wrong. The imformation which would help him to realise this is available. It is on this site on various threads but it would be good to go to sites like www.Freeminds.org and http://watchtower.observer.org/ as well as many others, which have a huge amount of info exposing the lies and problems with this religion. Will he look at this imformation? It depends how much the witness programming is still working inside of him. The witnesses say that he should not look at this kind of thing. That it is apostate. But he is latent and he might be persuaded. It depends on how he still feels and how reaonable to the idea of researching the religion. If he does not wish to then you or your daughter could learn more about what it is he believes so that you can help him to learn the real truth. But that might take time and effort. It would have to be done slowly and carefully and would take some thought. A lot depends on whether you and your daughter feel inclined to do this and also his reaction to it also.

  I wish you luck and I am sure there are many people who will respond who can give you their advice and experiences that can illuminate. Good luck.

  Edited by - spider on 25 August 2002 15:35:48

  Edited by - spider on 25 August 2002 15:39:30
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  18

  Sent my DA letters out

  by Cicatrix in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  finally got up the nerve to send my da letters out yesterday.i sent them in lovely scarlet envelopes(in homage to nathaniel hawthorne's "the scarlet letter")with american flag stamps hehe.i wrote the letters on my hound dog stationary.thought it was fitting, having heard the old "dog returning to its vomit" speech a few gazillion times(hey, my lab and dal eat lots of vomit and they love horse manure-vet says they're the healthiest doggies around:)).. then i went out and bought a little christmas tree and some teeny tiny ornaments.yeah, i know, i'm rushing it a bit.but i really really missed celebrating christmas, and i didn't even admit that to myself until just recently.my kids were absolutely thrilled!

  !this year will be their first everything.i'm going to buy them all "my first christmas" ornaments.. but first we have halloween and a few birthdays to do.my sons already got their first invitations to a birthday party.

  my kids want me to go trick-or-treating with them.maybe i'll dress up as cruella deville and take my dalmatian puppy,sidhe, with me.. my,my, i'm running on and on like a kid at christmas...and halloween...and ..... it's good to be free.i don't care what the org boogeymen try now.i've said my piece to them,now i'm done with them.i don't have to sneak around and worry about whose seeing me do this or that.i'm the one who has chosen to leave-and you bet your boots i will hold certain ones to their own rules about not speaking to me lol.in this case, what comes around, goes around.i'm just glad to be off the org carousel.i'm a little dizzy yet, but still standing.. hehe-i'm getting punchy.i'm going to go to bed and sleep in on a sunday morning!!!

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  spider

  Congratulations Cicatrix

  You have my respect. You did it clean and it must feel good to have it over with. No messing around. No playing by anyone elses rules. No pretense. Now you can put it behind you and focus on rest of your life.

  Also I'd just like to say welcome to the forum sstarli. I think when you start to learn more about all that the witnesses don't tell you, you will be glad you never got baptised.
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  15

  About www.jehovahs-witness.com

  by Beck_Melbourne in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just wanted to mention some of the warm and wonderful people that i miss and don't see posting much, if at all.. incense and peppermints: your fluff posts and sweet nature is missed around here...you have friends here, don't forget us.. dutchie: i am not sure where you are or why you don't post anymore.

  maybe someone else may know and can drop me an email.

  i miss your kind and soft presence.

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  spider

  What has happened to Alan F? Seems like he hasn't posted in ages.
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  35

  Open letter to Bod at the London Branch

  by caspian in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  an open letter to bod at the london branch .

  dear bod .

  i have personal knowledge that one of your duties, at the london branch is to monitor this discussion board as well as freeminds and silentlambs .

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  spider

  bttt
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  24

  my global statement

  by lauralisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am so off this planet.. i have had so much therapy in the past, i dunno, forty years, that it makes me "sick".. i have learned to speak in cognitive-speak.

  i have learned to think in cognitive-speak.. i have survived jw-endorsed "therapy": a jw-sanctioned therapist in northern virginia who could "cure" dissociative disorders in just a few sessions.

  she learned this technique from the "society" and therefore, did not charge for her services.

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  spider

  Still waiting for news about Laura
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  29

  Mike Musto is a celebrity

  by Salud in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did anyone see mike musto last nite on greta van susteren?

  my wife and i were wathching fox news and they were talking about martha stewart's debacle, and low and behold there is mike commenting on how she is going to have to go from 9 houses to 8. anyway did not know we had a celebrity among us.... you did good mike.

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  spider

  Okay - I don't know who this celebrity Mike Musto is as I don't live in the US. I'm pretty sure though that the guy posting here isn't the real Mike Musto. Infact I'm sure I remember LDH saying it and she's always good with detecting imposters.
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  11

  Simon

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  simon your catching hell, sorry about that.

  i don't know you from adam (remember that saying?

  ),but from what i have seen you have done a hellof a job here!

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  spider

  Ok what is it with all the cryptic remarks today?
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  28

  what did you miss in order to attend meetings?

  by jack2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me, it was the nfc championship game three years ago in order to attend the meeting, then, on top of that, the elders had *scheduled* a meeting for that day as well, to discuss the co visit.

  then there was a "supplemental" elder's school held a few years back that took me away from the afc title game.

  oh, i taped the stuff, but time-shift recording of sports just doesn't cut it.

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  spider

  When I was a kid we had the group study at our house and we always had to switch off just as the bionic man came on. I used to love that show and it quite pissed me off when the bell rang and I had to pull the plug out just as it started. Oh and knight rider - but that was okey becasue we had a video recorder by then.
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  6

  IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH!!!

  by Deli King in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having served as an elder before resigning i can understand why 'christendom's' ministers are full time.

  you have to find the balance between, family, work, preparing for meetings (including non public meetings), rest, self study, field service, and i'm sure i left some items out.

  this is extremely difficult if you truly want to do a good job.

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  spider

  I am sure it must be frustrating - you are right, it is easy to criticise and I know there were some good elders out there. But its impossible to do it all. Growing up my dad was an elder and he sacrificed a lot of time doing his elder duties rather than being with his family. They used to say that you should take care of your family first but I imagine it must have been difficult to live up to be being a good elder and also have the time left to spend time being a good parent.
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  41

  I'd like to introduce myself.......

  by DJ in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my name is donna.

  i was directed to this forum through freeminds.org by randy watters.

  i found his site to be very helpful to me and i highly recommend it to other newbies.

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  spider

  Welcome Donna. You seem like a really open hearted an warm lady and I am glad you are here.