happy@last

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Posts by happy@last

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  18

  Remember the Story about a Month Ago RE the Woman Who Murdered Her Two Children?

  by jamiebowers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have received correspondence from a jw in ontario canada.

  the following is background information regarding the sinclair family and their adult children.

  their son, scott left the cult and committed suicide.

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  happy@last

  Absolutely tragic, the mental anguish she lives with must be unbelievable, so so sad....
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  41

  My introduction/experience

  by happy@last in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about jws.

  before i left i had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising i was not alone with my feelings.

  the week i was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, i had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).. not long after i started to have concerns about jws, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the fds', this did not sit well with me.

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  happy@last

  I'm truly overwhelmed at everyone's responses, thank you for the warm welcome.

  Jam - mentally i am good today, thank you for asking. Over the years I have seen psychologists and sought other professional help, some days are better than others, however having genuine friends instead of phony so called christian ones makes a huge difference
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  41

  My introduction/experience

  by happy@last in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about jws.

  before i left i had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising i was not alone with my feelings.

  the week i was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, i had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).. not long after i started to have concerns about jws, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the fds', this did not sit well with me.

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  happy@last

  Hi all

  I have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about JWs. Before I left I had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising I was not alone with my feelings. The week I was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, I had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).

  Not long after I started to have concerns about JWs, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the FDS', this did not sit well with me. Eventually after seeing the effect DFing has on people, and the way certain issues were being handled I knew I had to be away from it.

  I suffered incredible turmoil, I stopped eating for a while when I knew I had to go. I had just received an invitation to an elders school and knew I could not go. My resignation letter was as follows:

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  I write you this day of my resignation from the body of elders with immediate effect. As you know I have been unwell physically and mentally. I feel that my resigning from the body will enable me to concentrate on getting myself well enough to enjoy being with my brothers again. The reason for my health issue is as follows:

  My mother came into the truth when I was 7, and not long after married a witness, despite one of the elders recommending she not do so.

  It turns out he is a paedophile and my sister and I survived several years of physical, mental and sexual abuse. Whilst the policy for dealing with such circumstances has changed over the years, current procedure would still not have protected me, as it was always my word against his, and a paedophile will rarely commit their crimes in front of witnesses. (1Tim 5:19) I had meetings with elders, but nothing could be done about the situation.

  When eventually I was old enough and disgusted enough to make it clear what exactly was happening, the police were called, and he admitted to the elders that wrongful conduct had taken place. My mother divorced him and he was also disfellowshipped. This was not the first time he had been disfellowhipped.

  All the while he was 'in the world' I was satisfied he would not prey on any witness children, however about 10 years ago he was welcomed back into the Christian congregation. I was not informed of this, I found out after he upset my sister at an assembly by insisting on sitting wherever she was.

  The elders in my previous congregation, who had been on the committee told us to 'move on' with our lives, and warned that we could be dealt with for slander if we were to tell anyone. At that time I wrote to the elders in the congregation concerned outlining that we are still suffering on a daily basis and would dearly love to move on, but cannot. To date I have had no response.

  I am sure you will agree that none of the above appears to have had any display of Christian love, unfortunately the elders had been guided by policies and procedures, that neither acted for the protection nor the comfort of the victims, only for the protection of the abuser. Additionally the fact that members of the congregation cannot be warned if a paedophile is in their congregation, and such a person is allowed to go on the ministry and conduct Bible studies with individuals including children is hard for me to understand. These are concerns I have had for many years.

  In view of this, listening in elders meetings to policies and procedures on many different subjects, listening to talks at the hall and assemblies about finding comfort and protection in the organisation, have now taken their toll on me, and this is what has brought me to a nervous breakdown. I know firsthand that these policies can be for a protection, but can also be damaging if adhered to without taking love into account.

  I am sure I will recover physically from this; mentally it may take a lot longer.

  In my conclusion I ask that you consider the following. When asked by both the Pharisees and Sadducees, with the purpose of tricking him, which was the greatest command, Jesus said it is to love Jehovah and your neighbour, and this sums up all the laws Jehovah had given the Israelites. This showed up the religious sects’ wrongdoing in adding rules and regulations that did not have love as a basis. (Matt 22:36-38) Whilst I am not promoting straying from any policies that have been laid down from the organisation, I request that all dealings by the body of elders are based on love, procedural or not, especially as the dear brothers and sisters are doing their best to display such love themselves.

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  I knew that once I had resigned I would not be coming back, and that has been the case for over a year. Prior to me 'fading' I had not spoken to anyone about how I was feeling about certain issues, except a couple of fellow elders, and never realised there was a whole community of people such as found here who felt the same as me. It has been quite an eye opener, and now makes perfect sense to me.

  So, that's me for now, just wanted to say 'hi' and hopefully make a contribution or two over the next while.
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  13

  Loosing Your Religion

  by ballistic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  changing your religion for another or completely loosing your religion and or your belief in god, or turning to an agnostic point of view is really quite a big change.

  for not wanting to state the obvious, when you change your religion, it changes not just the concept of religion in your mind, but your entire world view, or the way you perceive things work in the universe.

  how does such an enormous change happen?.

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  happy@last

  Nagging doubts over many years finally lead to me walking out of an assembly. I heard the words, "comfort for the depressed", and "finding safety and peace in the organisation" and it made my blood boil. Having not experienced or seen this in action, listening to it was like listening a pack of lies and I realised thats what it was. It took a short while to effect my fade away, but my complete change has brought complete relief
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  41

  What's in your current meeting bag?

  by nochoice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thanks again for the comments on the ipad in kh rules.

  on a similar vein, i've been thinking of all the books i can leave behind once our kh blesses the ipad phenomenon.

  in the meantime, this is what i have to lug in and why:.

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  happy@last

  I recall it didn't matter what size of case I had it was never big enough. Now it's gathering dust. I used to carry several public talk outlines and notes too which I stumbled across a few months ago which ended up on a bonfire in the garden, gave me quite a warm feeling.
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  20

  Hello everyone

  by Strawberryfieldsforever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been trying to get on with my life without jehovah's witnesses and my mom.

  just to let you know briefly about me......i was pretty much raised a jw by my mom.

  she never let me know my dad because he was "worldly" and was going to die soon.

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  happy@last

  So sorry to hear of your loss(es), try and hold onto the nice memories, even if they are shortlived
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  20

  Capital punishment, are you in favour of it ?

  by smiddy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i certainly am , providing their are strong arguments that the perpretrator of the crime is guilty beyond any reasonable doubt of the crime he/she is charged with .. i am not religous ,however i do agree with a life for a life principle ,especially if it involves multiple victims.

  somebody killing x amount of people, proven of course , have no right to live.

  of course with murders of one victim their can be many scenarios which the courts of law can adjudicate for whatever an outcome.

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  happy@last

  Absolutely, where there is overwhelming evidence
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  19

  When you were a JW, Did you think Prayers did any good?

  by tresdecu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the missing 21 year old woman in oregon got me thinking...so many jws comment on her fb page 'praying for you'...'constant daily prayers' etc.

  what is the point?

  i know it is a natural human emotion, to want to contribute in some small way when something bad happens.

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  happy@last

  When I was, no I didn't, I just believed in coincidences and still do now, and dont pray anymore either.

  I think it has a placebo effect on people though, so for some it can help, in the example you gave it makes no difference whether prayers are made or not.
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  697

  Why aren't you an Atheist?

  by Bloody Hotdogs! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  long time lurker, first time poster.. .

  i'm an ms (accounts servant) in a large congregation in canada.

  over the last several years i've faught a hard-won battle to rid my mind of all religous and supernatural beleifs.

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  happy@last

  I believe in Deism, I do not believe God has any interest in what is happening on this planet whatsoever. Anyone with almighty power and an ounce of love would have sorted out the mess here long ago. Believe nothing you are told and half of what you see, works for me.
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  139

  Witness Speak: the worst of collection

  by grumblecakes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so we all know the jw vocabulary is a weird one.

  what words or phrases bugged you the most?.

  a few of mine:.

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  happy@last

  Great list, I didn't see:

  Where we are in the stream of time!