Posts by thereishope

46

A question .....

by Landy in

hi guys - new poster here.

i was brought up a jw in the uk and stopped going not long after i was married.

that was 20 years ago so i'm not really up to date with the current doctrinal flip flops or the new youtube obsessed gb.. came across this site while googling the name of a local elder who's just been convicted of possesion of a pc full of unpleasant pics of kids.. so, my question.

thereishope

Just want to say - I was "true to myself" many decades ago, and lost everything - my home, children, ex-husband - nothing to do with religion. Just bought into the "find yourself" theme of the times, and left everything. Lost them all, and never did "find myself". Just saying - one has to count the cost. I now have a good marriage with a good man who doesn't know TTATT, or care to. If I pressed it, it would cause a deep divide, and hurt him deeply. Just because I've woken up, doesn't mean I have the right to try to open his eyes because I want him on the same page with me. Life isn't black and white after all, so I'll sit on the fence in the grey zone.

The song "The Great Pretender" from back in my youth keeps playing in my mind. I'm a good actress. I can do this. As long as I'm not lying to myself I'm being "true to myself". I don't have to be true to anyone else, I can keep secrets. My fade over the last few years has been gradual and not deliberate. Using health issues has worked well, and depression. Maybe this is as fade-ed as I get. No service, maybe the odd meeting to keep hubby happy, no assembly days or conventions, no memorials - never feeling up to it - just so discouraged and depressed and sick!

I got a good reminder this week about what's really important to me. My husband got very ill and I stood to lose him at one point. He's fine now and back from hospital, but it reminded me of what's really important in my life, and I'll be damned if I'll let this cult ruin things for us. I may not have long with him, we're getting on in years. If he goes before me, I'll cut ties with the congregation so quick!

My goodness, didn't mean to go on for so long, and I've even deleted a lot of what I've written, so I don't know if this even makes much sense to anyone else. My story is long - 70 years long. Just the "be true to yourself" thing really set off some alarm bells, and thought it might help someone else not jump off the cliff like I did and pull the plug on everyone and everything. I felt very free and joyful initially (what a rush), but that was short lived when my head cleared and I realized what I'd done.

My advice to people would be to go slowly and think things through very carefully from all angles and yes! be true to yourself - act as you believe yourself to be. That's all folks! :)

7

Hope you enjoy John's comments

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjtx-r5ryfq.

thereishope

Listening to this now ... who is John, please?

123

Message from Designer Stubble to the former JWR members

by Designer Stubble in

jw
friends

message from designer stubble to the former jwr members.

first of all i am glad to see that many of you have found your way to this great forum, facilitated by simon.

i am sure that after the dust of the jwr shutdown has settled, you will find this to be a good new home.. i would like to apologize for the sudden closure of jwr.

thereishope

FreeAgent - you brought tears to my eyes! How elegantly put!

123

Message from Designer Stubble to the former JWR members

by Designer Stubble in

jw
friends

message from designer stubble to the former jwr members.

first of all i am glad to see that many of you have found your way to this great forum, facilitated by simon.

i am sure that after the dust of the jwr shutdown has settled, you will find this to be a good new home.. i would like to apologize for the sudden closure of jwr.

thereishope

Love everyone's posts. I really can't add anything of value, except to have my say I guess. The attitude of "this is for your own good" really sucks! (There, I said it!) Isn't that what we hear about disfellowshipping and shunning? Doesn't work for me. I would like to move on, really, so need to discipline myself to stop reading certain threads that fuel my anger. Just that it feels good to have somewhere to have my say.

26

Who are the "Inactive"?

by thereishope in

this was my starting point in this journey of rediscovery, and i've made great strides, but here i am again asking the same question.

all this talk re the rc and the shunning of the inactive ones.

there is no announcement made obviously about "shun sister so-and-so, as she is inactive.

thereishope

I'm being serious here. This was my starting point in this journey of rediscovery, and I've made great strides, but here I am again asking the same question. All this talk re the RC and the shunning of the inactive ones. There is no announcement made obviously about "Shun sister so-and-so, as she is inactive." Or is it up to the individual elders and I don't want to ask them because I don't want to call attention to myself. Asking because I'd like to know if I can expect to be shunned, Oh, or is it the old "upbaptized publisher/publisher/baptized unpublisher" (kidding, but not really). They've sure made it confusing, haven't they? PS I'm baptized.

Sorry if this isn't very clear, and I know it's not, but I'm tired and need some sleep but wanted to get this asked first. Thanks for any clarification.

52

JWR usernames list

by StarryNight9 in

jw
friends

i created this thread so that jwr members can list their old jwr username with their username for whatever site they've moved to.

i apologize if this has already been created somewhere else.. jwr = starrynight.

jwd = starrynight9.

thereishope

JWR = icanseeclearlynow

JWD = thereishope

how I feel about JWR closing the way they did, still collecting my feelings and thoughts and don't know yet how much you'll see of me here

how I feel about my avatar being a squished purple alien being

119

Jehovah's Witness Recovery is no more...

by TimeBandit in

jw
friends

i just tried to go to the site and there is a goodbye message.

i was a member there since 2010. i was really surprised.

i had just started posting there again after being away for a while.

thereishope

Someone just wrote about feeling disfellowshipped - that's it in a nutshell for me!

119

Jehovah's Witness Recovery is no more...

by TimeBandit in

jw
friends

i just tried to go to the site and there is a goodbye message.

i was a member there since 2010. i was really surprised.

i had just started posting there again after being away for a while.

thereishope

This is from I Can See Clearly Now. UNBELIEVABLE!! I'm shocked and disappointed and feel so let down I can't even begin to tell you. I thought first of my feelings, then thought of the many others on the site who have joined in the last little while, and how they must be feeling and how it will affect them. I had just written on how I was starting to feel safe with the members, and now this! I can understand that they felt the need to close, but to go about it in this way - SHOCKING! Maybe it was an ex-ex-ex-ex apostate (don't know how that works) site all along, pulling the rug out from under us so we'd go running back to them. Yeah, I know that's nonsense, but just something that sprung to mind. Once again I placed my trust in people, and once again I've been dropped on my head! Okay, should I post this? I think I will.

19

disfellowshipped wife, husband still a jw

by thereishope in

i'm new here and haven't introduced myself yet, but have been lurking for the past couple of weeks and learned so much!

quick first question: if i get disfellowshipped for researching info on websites other than jw.org (the official website), how can i expect to be treated by my husband still in the truth?

ie what will he be told by the elders about how to treat me?

thereishope

Thank you, Daniel1555. My husband has caught on about me visiting the other websites, forums, etc. He warned me about it but hasn't taken it to the elders. I don't think he will. I hope he isn't obligated to!? My husband turning this wife in wouldn't be cool! If he did I'd take the counsel, dismiss it, continue my search, get counseled again and again and then disfellowshipped I guess if I don't stop. I'm very concerned about what would happen to my marriage - I know we'd have big disagreements if I were to disassociate myself, but my heart is getting loud in telling me that's what it wants to do. The disagreements with my husband have already started about me missing meetings (other than the phone lines) and telling him I wasn't going to go to the upcoming Regional Convention and if he wanted to go he'd be going by himself again. I've missed a number of conventions the last few years, and all the assemblies, and even the Memorial this spring. I've used health issues as an excuse, and that's it partially, but also I've seriously lost interest in doing things their way, thinking their way, and never being good enough or doing enough. Okay, I'm babbling. :) I've been doing so much thinking and journaling and reading the last couple of weeks, my brain hurts!! And the strain of trying to hide my process

Thanks, Zophar. No elders have talked to me about my meeting attendance or service. Nobody's come to my door or phoned me to "encourage" me. That's actually one of the reasons I started exploring. I was curious about whether I am deemed "inactive". And what that means. And would someone not have told me? And where was the concern and encouragement? Am I marked as "weak", as "poor association"? Nobody seems to want anything much to do with me or my husband. Wait, I don't want sound bitter, but ... I'm very lonely and went looking for some friends online, just some regular people because I'm not supposed to make friends with "worldly" people so I thought I'd do it in secret, and that's what lead me to this forum, and starting to think of myself as an ex-Jehovah's witness, or at least someone on her way out. Fading, I guess?

I think maybe I've mixed up my two replies somewhat, and I'm too tired to straighten it out. I've gone on longer than I intended, but I do appreciate your replies so much!

19

disfellowshipped wife, husband still a jw

by thereishope in

i'm new here and haven't introduced myself yet, but have been lurking for the past couple of weeks and learned so much!

quick first question: if i get disfellowshipped for researching info on websites other than jw.org (the official website), how can i expect to be treated by my husband still in the truth?

ie what will he be told by the elders about how to treat me?

thereishope

Hello! I'm new here and haven't introduced myself yet, but have been lurking for the past couple of weeks and learned so much! Thanks to all! Quick first question: if I get disfellowshipped for researching info on websites other than jw.org (the official website), how can I expect to be treated by my husband still in the truth? ie what will he be told by the elders about how to treat me? I have been very irregular in my meeting attendance for the past year or so and have been turning in my service report monthly but always with a big fat 0 for 9 months at least. I have a bunch more questions, but will leave it at that for now. Thanks in advance for any thoughts you may have for me.