When I found out the botchtower had spun a big pile of sweaty bollocks, it was a relief that I realised I was going to die like everyone else. Me and my wife didnt do any research about the org until 8 months after we left. So we went from day to day feeling guilty and stressed because we thought we were bird food at the big A.
You come to realise that life is not only what you make it, its also what you leave behind. I'm not a believer in any deity or god, and I personally think it a waste of time to spend life proving ones self to a god, when life can be spent helping, loving, and making a legacy with those around you. This is more real than remembering somebody 'in heaven', or 'with the angels' etc
fwiw, GA