Posts by Skbj

38

JW Interracial Couples

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

i was thinking about some interracial jw couples that chose each other because they do not have alot of choices like finding someone in their own race in the religion, i have been seeing alot more jw interracial couples lately.

have you noticed them in your area?

don't get me wrong.

Skbj

When I was a JW at the age of 9 my parents had a mixed race couple coming to live with us, he was West African she was Sicilian. He had won a scholarship in architecture at the local university and around where my parents live most people own their own home, esp. during the 80's finding an apartment to rent was really hard. They lived with us for 7 months, I never seen a black man up and close until then, and was great to know about a different culture. I got to eat foods that he brought over from his country like plantain that fascinated me greatly.

I was blessed to have been born in a family that isn't racist with or without the JW teachings, despite coming from a country who IMO is highly racist and struggles to this day in dealing with other nationalities/cultures and skin tone, hell they are even racist between their own people depending if you're from north or south. At one point my mom wanted me to become missionary or something like that to go find me a brother of another race LOL.

I think some people are most comfortable with people of their own culture and race and others are comfortable with whomever they get on with. I also feel that many people, this is in general not just amongst JW give far too much importance to what their family want for them,what they'll think, how they'll react. The first serious relationship I had even if I had already faded, was with a guy who was perfect for my parents but not for me. Taking aside the fact he wasn't JW, he had otherwise all the things my mom told me to look for in a husband, the virtues, the characteristics in his personality etc etc. I fell in love with him because he was the "right guy to take home" rather than the right guy for me.

Resulting in 4 years of hell. So once I finally got rid of him I learnt from the negative experience, to not to care about my family but to care who was right for me.

17

Growing old in this system

by teela(2) in

jw
friends

meet up wth an old friend of my parents.

it was sad, mable in her 80's husband is 91 and falling apart.

off course to start with it was armageddon must be soon.

Skbj

@jgnat yeah I realized. It's one of the reasons why I love Japanese culture so much. A friend of mine's grams is 89 and still runs her own caligraphy busines. It's so fascinating. In the era of download I must say that I don't watch much TV but the only channel I watch regularly is NHK. I'm lucky is broadcasted free in my country. They have amazing programs on the long standing Japanese traditions particularly on how they make stuff by hand, and mostly is elderly people featured.

38

JW Interracial Couples

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

i was thinking about some interracial jw couples that chose each other because they do not have alot of choices like finding someone in their own race in the religion, i have been seeing alot more jw interracial couples lately.

have you noticed them in your area?

don't get me wrong.

Skbj

I'm an interracial couple, and there were quite a few in the congregations I Attended in UK, apparently also in my home country area now.

From what i've seen in general from also non JW mixed couples are quite a normal thing in Europe, so the big deal is mostly a US thing. I think 70% of married couples amongst my friends are mixed couple, and I promise I didn't pick them on purpose.

Edit: a couple of months ago we visited some of my husband family in Bronx, NY. They are jamaican originally and I'm not sure one of the aunties knew I was caucasian, so I did get a short stare when she entered the house as to say what's this white chick doing here lol, but then when I say I'm Italian people seem to relax like suddenly I'm not white no more.Happens every time. Weird but to me just show people pre conceptions about where you from.

17

Growing old in this system

by teela(2) in

jw
friends

meet up wth an old friend of my parents.

it was sad, mable in her 80's husband is 91 and falling apart.

off course to start with it was armageddon must be soon.

Skbj

@ Teela, it's sad indeed. This is the conversation I'm trying to have with my mom as many time as I can now that her and my dad have entered their 60s and have no savings, for their retirement years. They have it in their head that somehow as their only child I'll maintain them I often am tempted in telling them to ask their congregation for pension money after all the WT is the reason why they ain't got no money makes perfect sense to me.

@mouthy you are a great example for people of ages! And I love your face, you are the same age as my Grams, yet couldn't be more different, you look so happy whilst she's always so miserable which is ironic because with the beliefs they have she should be happy instead...

@ jgnat I love Japanese pottery (andanything else that's Japanese). I have some nice photos of a place I went to in Okinawa that is an organic cafe they make their own pottery to serve bevarages but that one could also buy. Such a great tradition.

42

My son's heart is broken

by ruderedhead in

jw
friends

i'm sure someone here has experienced this before.

please help me help my son.

his wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now.

Skbj

@ talesin You are right, not everyone breaks up because they have someone else.

However like Caliber has pointed out as well as the OP indicated, she wants space, and refuses for him to visit at weekends, my experience as a woman is when -for any given reason - we want space that's just a nice way to say we want to break up. That she has someone else given the time they have constantly spent apart is just a strong possibility, I brought the example of my friend in my previous post to show her determination was in fact dictated from the fact she had fallen in love with another guy and I know many others too, don't want to bore people with stories, but from experience I've seen that having a 3rd party in the eqiation makes women more determined.

Absolutely there are 2 sides to all stories, and one doesn't wake up one morning and point blank decided that's it, it's over. Relationships break up over time, I'm sure there must have been other signs, if the son saw them and ignored them or not we don't know. I don't believe in being blind sided. If you love someone and they are your number one, you notice things aren't quite right.

However, the girl mentioned by the OP seems to show the kind of determination and resolution given when a 3rd party is in the picture, but ultimately the reason is also irrelevant, the bottom line is she doesn't seems to be interested in saving this marriage so the son should count his losses and move on. If there's one thing I've learnt in life is that when one doors closes another one opens and usually is a better one. When in 10 years from now, possibly married to a better woman, he'll look back to this moment he will probably think she actually did him a favor.

I have had my fair share of broken heart stories, abusive men, cheaters, womanizers, you name it I probably dated him LOL - and whilst it hurt me like hell when it happened, I'm also thankful to have gone through the pain I have because it made a stronger and better person. Once I read a phrase that said:

“Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because most of life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain.”

74

HELP! I've stepped in it now... mast head change - JW response!

by NeverKnew in

he's asking if i've read the first page of the new watchtower.. says page 8 admits and exposes the society's mistaken expectations.. says that both mags have been adjusted to reflect the understanding of generation.

asking if it is my position that witnesses have made claims to be inspired prophets.... and saying if it is, maybe *we* can consider together some examples in the bible of others who have had wrong expectations and have gone ahead of god's timetable and see how god handled that..

Skbj

If I may add a comment on the Jan. WT in addition to the great points already made is that with the quote:

We believe that even more important than focusing on when the end will come, we must be confident that it will come, and we must act accordingly.

This basically give the WT carte blanche on keeping people in the grasp of their idiocies forever and ever seeing that they don't have to worry any longer about accuracy of dates. It's like the WT invites people into gambling with their lives.

It's like those people who have played the lottery for years hoping one day they hit the jackpot,

My auntie has played it evey weekend for the past 40 years, never hit the jackpot and I tell her all the time, if she had saved those dollars over time she would have actually had a good amount of cash like that jackpot she's been chasing.

Human hope is both a blessing and a curse!

42

My son's heart is broken

by ruderedhead in

jw
friends

i'm sure someone here has experienced this before.

please help me help my son.

his wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now.

Skbj

I concur with the rest. Men and women have different behaviours when someone else is in the picture, and she is displaying the standard resolute female behavior that her mind and heart are somewhere else.

A Couple of years back my then best friend told me at the beginning of July that she was thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend of 5 years, gave me lost of BS reasons how she wanted to get married and he wasn't even close to moving in together, blabla, I told her she was wrong and if he has not rushed into getting married was simply the age difference, they met that she was 30 and he was 25 so when we had the conversation he was about to hit 30 and I told her, miracles happen when men hit 30, they finally start to seriously think about marriage and I know he loved her very much, so I told her to hang on, but seemed like her mind was completely made up, and I knew then she wasn't telling me the whole story, anyway she dumped him the week after. Couple of months later in september she announced through the famous Facebook damned status she was in a relationship with some new dude. The following year July 2nd the new boyfriend posted on her facebook "happy 1 year anniversay" I saw it and recalling the date of our conversations I was like: No wonder you were so resolute and determinated that things were not gonna progress with Boyfriend #1...you had been seeing the other dude for a while if you actually got together in July.

Another little story: an Ex of mine, when we met he was going through a very painful divorce. He had met his wife at University and was love at first sight, he married about a year after. I saw many photos of them and from how I know him and how generous and loving he was in our relationship I have no doubts for 7 years he believed that she was the love of his life, yet she cheated on him real bad, had to get a detective to take proof of the affair and then of course as she got found out things turned sour. When I met him he was in a bad time of his life, heartbroken that his life had crashed, that his princess had betrayed him and his self-esteem was quite low, probably some of the reasons things didn't work out for us but we are great friends to this day, and guess what? He's now happily married and has a lovely 4 years old daughter.

@ RRH sorry If I may come across not too empathic, believe me I am, but I've been through enough heartaches to be able to think with my head more than my heart and I'll say this:

it sucks for your son that the relationship/marriage went downhill, and I know you as his Mom want to do all you can to protect him from pain, but reality is he's not the first nor the last, we all had our heart broken from someone we thought was the love of our life. If she took their marriage so lightly to me just shows she wasn't the love if his life after all. I have friends that for various reasons live or had to live continents apart for lengthy periods but never considered breaking up or cheating. So the long distance is a pure excuse.

He may not see it right away but there is 3 positive things that will come out this situation:

1) as mentioned by Theocratic Sedition if there's no children or house involved is a matter of paperwork.

2) From your description your son comes across still fairly young in his 20's means that he has lots of life and opportunities still to live

3) at least he saw her true colors now and not 20 years from now.

How can you help? Just be there for your son, I know you feel helpless but just let him know if he needs someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on you and your husband will be there for him for the rest don't medel too much in it, he also needs to figure in his own how to move forward. Truly that is the best you guys can do.

20

Noob!

by Qoo_Kumba in

i joined this site a while ago, and promptly forgot all about it.

so imagine my surprise and delight when i started getting referrals from it to my blog!

member: konceptual99for the recommendation!.

Skbj

Welcome Chris! Hope the rain stops :)

82

VOTE TO REVOKE UK CHARITY STATUS OF JW CHARITIES! URGENT!

by Blablaman in

jw
friends

not long left... closes 20/02/2013 @ 08:01am.

vote now!.

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/29949 .

Skbj

You actually only need to be a UK resident without citizenship or a brit citizen living abroad also fine. I lived in UK for 13 years without being a citizen and signed lots of petitions for other matters without problems. As long as you put down a real address and post code it's cool.

To be honest the actual reasons are really not strong for this petition, it just sounds like a rant. Don't get me wrong I'll be happy if JW gets revoked their status, but what I'm saying the petitioner should have put better reasons who would interest also non-JW. There are many non-JW who dislike the WT but the 3 reasons written are just of interest to ex-JW who are possibly bitter to what happen to them, a non-JW when reading it would be like...couldn't care less, this organization isn't affecting me only those silly buggers who got involved with it.

Better reasons would be stuff like the organization doesn't actually do shit for the community like homeless people, or environment, if there's a natural disaster they don't have funds or plans that helps the community etc etc, those type reasons (explained in more details than what I wrote of course) would tickle more the interest of non-JW which lets be frank are the vast majority.

100

My mother passed away this morning...

by Tatiana in

jw
friends

for any old-school ex-jws here that remember my many posts about my abusive jw mother and my sister committing suicide because of it...she passed away this morning because she began to bleed out and refused a transfusion.

she had been in the hospital for a month.

it appears she suffered a stroke and wasn't found by the brothers & sisters for three days (they missed her at the meetings).

Skbj

My deepest condolences Tatiana. I definitely think that you have to pursue the matter with your uncle and the authorities, it's not even a matter of money or the actual items but the principle and deep lack of respect that he has shown. Be strong.