it has occurred to me that ive been here long enough and have met many of you whose company i really appreciate.
i see people come in since i have been here and am inspired and impressed at the courage they have for giving their stories, their experiences and the freedoms they now have paid for by a cost that only a cult survivor can really appreciate.. so with that inspiration, here is my story.... i have very little memory of before i was 5. i do remember christmas morning one year to wake up to a ton of toys and that was cool.
i remember having my stomach pumped once because i got into some kerosene and thought id pour myself a glass.
Kenny,
I am adult who was raised as a Witness since birth. I am 28 now and slowly healing. I feel like 50,000 tons of bricks have come off my shoulders since I left.
I look forward to talking to you and hearing more. We have so much in common.
Love,
Tera
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
i didnt mean to but it just came out and before i knew it i was crying and arguing with her.
well not really arguing but getting excited.
she got mad and said 'so what are you saying that you dont think this is the truth?
Another thing.... a JW would be disfellowshipped for celebrating holidays but its acceptable if you have a worldly mate?
This makes me understand why so many would want to marry out of the organization.... you can celebrate holidays and get away with it!!
:)
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
i didnt mean to but it just came out and before i knew it i was crying and arguing with her.
well not really arguing but getting excited.
she got mad and said 'so what are you saying that you dont think this is the truth?
Flower,
I really commend you at how you handled it with your mom. You were respectful and made good points. Of course you cried, thats normal... you have been taught to not think independantly and you felt very strange confronting your mom with your new thoughts.
i said 'mom, jehovah is perfect whyI'm sorry, but this made me chuckle. Not that it was funny, but it shows how Witnesses will make an excuse for anything. So basically the Word of God going into the brother's ears at Bethel is sometimes intervened by Satan? Pulleeze!
would he keep making mistakes that cost people happiness and marraiges ect and then
reveal new light? he would reveal the truth from the beginning! she said that the GB was
not perfect and made mistakes and that Satan also had to factor in. I said 'Satan gets
into the watchtower mom??! you are telling me that satan can influence what is written
in the watchtower??. she said yes since they are imperfect satan could influence them
but that jehovah was very involved in the watchtower so i shouldnt start thinking that
satan was taking it over.
Dont beat yourself up... keep researching for yourself. Not just with anti-JW websites but neutral and pro sites. Then read read read read! Pray for help and you'll get the answers.
Good luck!
Tera
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
just discovered this thread by going to who's who.. i guess i'll add my life story.. born and raised a dub, i didn't really mind being a witness but always had a secret desire to celebrate christmas, birthdays and halloween.
they always looked fun.. had a really fun time during the teen years, had some great friends and we did our share of partying, but never really got out of hand.
i was, for the most part, pretty good.
Tweetie,
Thank you for your story.
I have tears in my eyes because I have felt so alone for years and years literally thinking I was going crazy for having doubts. JW's wont acknowledge those doubts.. and non-Witnesses have no clue about what we were taught to believe.
It has been such a relief and an un-burdening to me having met all you fine people.
Everyday I heal more and more...
Love,
Tera
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
a jw at my work (who doesnt know i used to be a jw) is rambling on in the lounge about how the preaching work is still being done and doesnt seem close to being acclomplished all over the earth.
she also said that the thought of this system going on for another 6 or so years makes her sick!
she said she couldnt wait for armegeddon (sp?
LOL dont ya just love to see how they 'really' act when they think no-one's looking? ;)
My mother (exJW and psychotic) would go out in field service and on the way home cuss and flip off everyone in traffic. One day someone cut her off and she honked and flipped her finger out the window and it was a brother!!! He didnt see her face, though. I thought she was going to crap her pants!!
:)
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
my apolgies for the 3 space dots above.. i often pondered why we have tears.. when the world and all the problems seem to be weighing you down, know that you all never need to feel ashamed to have a good howl, just let yourself into that space where you can cry and let it all out.
its a wonderful releasing of the tensions.. know too that lots of us here, have been through, run the gamut of emotions that you right now may be experiencing.
this is a funny ole community, individuals on many different varying levels all making their way out from a highly constricting order, many very advanced in recovery and others less so.. everyone is valued here, the experience we share is in its own way quite unique, but never feel that you are alone now, for here you will find many who express a willing desire to help you on your journey onwards.
That was beautiful!!
Well said... and thank you.
Tera
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
a jw at my work (who doesnt know i used to be a jw) is rambling on in the lounge about how the preaching work is still being done and doesnt seem close to being acclomplished all over the earth.
she also said that the thought of this system going on for another 6 or so years makes her sick!
she said she couldnt wait for armegeddon (sp?
Can you believe this?
A JW at my work (who doesnt know I used to be a JW) is rambling on in the lounge about how the preaching work is still being done and doesnt seem close to being acclomplished all over the earth. She also said that the thought of this system going on for another 6 or so years makes her sick! She said she couldnt wait for Armegeddon (sp?) and when would it all end?? I looked at her and said," I for one am not hoping for the earth to end!" She replied, 'well if you had REAL problems you would know what I mean." Give me a break. Her only problem is being a JW and her mental illness. I told her that I have problems but dont fixate on them and love life and dont wish to see people die or harmed. She rolled her eyes and walked off. What a jerk.
I thought JW's were a happy people and had souls that were 'refreshed'?
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
i remember before there were computers the brothers (elders) and there little helpers would literally spy on individuals, in order to catch a person in any form of wrongdoing.
i am not making this up because my father was an elder and he engaged in this practice many times.
he would even regularly spy on me or he would have other brothers watch me and see if i was doing anything wrong.
oh yes I am all too familiar with their spy tactics. They would get their kids to do it... anyone they could.
I once told an elder's daughter in my high school that I was in Self Defense class. Boy she hopped on that one like white on rice. He called my mom and told us I couldnt be in that. Everything I did always went back to him or one of the elders.
Once, at a gathering, the adults were drinking wine. Later, when the bottle was empty, I put water in it and drank some in front of the 3 or 4 people left hanging around. I jokingly slurred and said I needed some more booze. I was goofin around and everyone there knew it. I was around 16 or 17 at the time (we all remember the immature things we did). It got back to an elder within one day. My mother had gone out in service with someone and came home and said to me, "so.... did you have fun last night?" Me:'yeah, why?'
Mom:'oh.. it just got back to me that you were acting very innapropriately and doing something very wild.' Now I know that I had done nothing wrong, and I couldnt believe how someone there was just waiting to 'turn me in'. From then on, I very carefully watched how I acted whenever at gatherings, meetings or anywhere else a JW was present. I just knew they were watching me all the time.
For what you did it seems very harsh to be publicly reproved. Even a counseling by the elders would be over-reacting, in my opinion..
I'm sorry for what you had to go through!
Tera
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
yoyo said:.
<<<i'm sorry i seemed like a jerk with my comments, but you have to understand that i too get pissed when opposers of jehovah's witnesses throw out accusations left and right and never the see the good that we do.>>>.
the concept of "good" as seen through the eyes of a jw elder has been discussed numerous times on this board.. i'm sure the "good" as you see it only comes from your personal perspective.
At least I can post again! *whew*
I lost my password and my email was shut down for a few days!! grrrr....
anyway,
Dave, can I just say you are AWESOME. You always put into words so eloquently and perfectly what I cannot. It is a true gift.. I love reading your posts!!!
I also want to express my sincere doubts about what "YoYoMama" says he/she is. Maybe I am just naive or very innocent, but I have not met many elders or spiritual JW's who are so bitter or outright hateful. The post he/she made that
Dave: They disfellowshipped you, that was good.doesn't sound like a spiritual shephard. I don't think elders should or do rejoice at disfellowshipping people.. from what I hear it is supposed to be a thing that elders hate doing.
From reading YoYoMama's post, I get the feeling of someone that strongly has doubts of their religion and takes their anger out by hurling hate at others. After all.... if you were that confident in your beliefs, why keep coming here and attacking others? I leave others alone that I don't wish to associate with.
I also know that when I was a 'strong' Witness I NEVER, EVER went to sites like this. It would have troubled my conscience greatly to read such things about my beliefs and I would have considered it betraying my brothers by going to these kind of sites.
So something just doesnt add up...
Tera
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
its a fact:.
the wts cleverly and insiduously "pushed" the date of 1975 on the congregation of jws.
this is especially true since the year of 1968 and the release of the "blue bomb" or "truth" book, which finally totalled in circulation over 100 million copies in some 115 languages worldwide.
Must be why the sister that studied with me when I was 13 dropped me after about 6 months of studying. She told my mom that there was no chance of me getting baptized immediately and dropped me like a hot potato. She did me a favor...
______________________________________
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Goethe
