SS, actually I never was baptized, so couldnt have action taken against me.. I was raised in it from birth, however. I have always thought it was the 'truth', even up to a few years ago. I couldnt live with the hypocrisy and unloving actions that I encountered, so I 'drifted' away. All the while I was sure I was going to die in the Tribulation.... it was only until I stumbled this site that I have started to have doubts about the JW's in general.
I think the biggest thing was that being raised a Witness, I always had a feeling of God's love being conditional.. and since I didnt like preaching in service, I always was made to feel that God disproved of me. After I stopped going to meetings, I saw how so many 'worldly' people had God working in their lives and were truly blessed. I could see how they didnt have that fear of dying, or self loathing that I was raised with. They seemed so peaceful and genuinely happy... so now I am opening my eyes and mind and trying to reprogram my thinking. It's hard though... to this day, I will tell my family members (who are still active JW's) how I prayed over something and they will reply with a huff and 'do you really think Jehovah listens to your prayers?? You dont even go to meetings!!'
After talking to people here, I dont see what a Witness calls 'apostate' as being a hater of Good.. but more an exposer of the WTS's wrongdoing. The sad thing is, though, that it's hard to start good debate with a Witness because you automatically get the ole' 'WOAH! That sounds like you are saying apostate stuff!' answer.
I even ordered CoC today, and told my DF'd mother. She said, 'oh I'm not sure thats good. I heard Franz was an apostate.'
It never ends!