Posts by scratchme1010

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

scratchme1010

This is where I blew it. When an elder came knocking I didn't answer. A few weeks later another. I had been pushed and intimated for so long. I had recognized the evil in the organization before the elder scene. I was so emotionally unstable over the whole thing, I pretty much blasted him, while not saying anything against the organization, I did have that much presence of mind somehow, but told him in no uncertain terms never to come to my house again. Of course, I had not been to meetings for about a month. So, this is where it stands. Local elders and anyone who saw what happened at the KH think I left in a huff about the situation.

That is precisely why I posted what I posted. I'm in no way, shape or form, advocating for you to remain an active JW. But, for what you post, seems like you are taking a number of random actions without planning. So don't expect a good result or a good reaction from people in the congregation if you take actions like that.

The pushy, predatory elders KNOW how they expect you to react, so giving them ammunition that way instead of having a plan to leave is not going to make things end on your favor.

For real, I really, strongly believe that at this point people in the congregation have to feel that you are still an ok JW in good standing while you prepare yourself to leave.

Please consider that option.

24

"Keep in touch as a family." He said.

by Darkknight757 in

well today was the big day.

we finally let the cat out of the bag to the in-laws about watchtower.

previously there were unknown rumors being spread about me and today i found out why the wife and i are being shunned.

scratchme1010

So toward the end my father-in-law said that we can keep in touch "as a family." Not sure if any of you might be able to explain that? He also said to email any questions that we have and he can give us answers. I told him thank you but no. He's far too old to destroy his faith like that and I told him that.

I'm sorry to hear about losing your children. My condolences.

I am glad that you remained in charge of your decision in spite of them only having "blinded by Satan" to say to you. That is not simple thing to say.

Although I do not know the entire background story, though, I wonder why the drastic decision of cutting ties in spite of them wanting to leave the door open "as family". I could guess that you don't want to hear their nonsense about seeing your children in paradise on Earth, but I wonder if there's more that makes you not wanting them in your life.

Don't get me wrong, I too walked away from my entire family and I'm very happy that they aren't part of my life, but in my case there's more than the Jehovah crap that made me step away from my family.

I always lean towards advocating for maintaining a family relationship (a healthy one, of course) when/if possible. So my guess is that it may be his way of wanting to keep the door open and maintain some sort of relationship.

In my case, some of my JW family members want me in their lives. I decided not to because they one an unilateral relationship. They expect me not to say anything about me and my life that they don't want to hear, yet they still want me in their lives like that. It is an effort to stay in touch and feel good that they have a relationship with me, but it's not a loving, respectful, not even real relationship.

My guess is that in their own way they are trying to cope with losing you.

8

New JW couple. Send them your well wishes here!

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

a few years ago a jw lost her husband.

she had enough money to build a nice home but she went over budget and the house remains unfinished.

this past year another jw lost his wife... but there is a happy ending!

scratchme1010

Praise Jehovah! Just think, in the new system, they will both be the same age.

And praise Viagra!

In a more serious note, I don't see anything wrong with that. I learned from a reliable source of information that having a relationship with a much older person is not necessarily a bad thing, especially since the younger person in this case is 40. We're not taking about a teenager and a middle-age person. They both are grown up, mature adults.

Personally I'd be more concerned about he claiming to be anointed than anything else, mostly because all those "anointed" that I knew were all nut jobs.

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

scratchme1010

Is there anything that I can do or not do that could maybe prevent the worse from happening to yet another family, this time mine? I've already been greatly helped through this all these months by reading this forum. Thank you for listening.

Yes, go back. Seriously, return to attend meetings.

I think the way you are fading is a little too rushed and impulsive. Fading is not just stopping going to meetings. All the things that you posted should have been taken into consideration first, before taking any actions. Fading is a process that requires a lot of decision making and thinking about all the consequences (like straining your relationship with your father) as well as all the things that you will have to deal with and are willing to give up.

As a born in, I understand not having a reliable frame of reference about the world outside. It's fundamental to start getting to know what you are getting into by coming into "the world". If you are a born in, trust me, chances are that you have a rather naive, tunnel vision view of how the world is and works. The process of fading also involves preparing yourself to what you will be facing once out, especially when/if once bad things happen to you. Life brings challenges and those challenges may make you question your decision of leaving.

Furthermore, leaving all your family and all you have known all your life is going to bring you down. Have you prepared to deal with the emotional toll that it may take?

You don't mention anything about your reasons for leaving or what exactly triggered your decision,and it's important for you to look at what are the reasons why you are willing to walk away from everything and everybody that you grew up with.

Fading and leaving is a process; it takes time, planning and preparation, especially if you want to maintain a workable relationship with JWs you love and are still in. I strongly suggest to maintain the hypocritical charade and pretending to care while you build support outside, learn more about what your life will be once leaving, and keep yourself in the life of those you love.

It's not an easy process, so just stopping attending meetings may be a little drastic.

Go back, return to meetings for the time being, is my suggestion.

7

This really Appeared

by snugglebunny in

i don't know if this will be of any use to our cousins from across the pond, but the principal of a uk school or college is generally referred to as simply "the head".. .

scratchme1010

I think it was real news if it was a boy's school :-)

41

Sheep and the Goats - The Light Gets Brighter

by nmthinker in

perhaps some of you remember a new understanding of the sheep and the goats in the epic march 2015 wt study edition - specifically the article "loyally supporting christ's brothers".. while this article was studied many months ago, it was instrumental in helping me wake up.

during my study of the 2015 article i recalled that we had just revised our understanding of the sheep and the goats a few years ago and this caused me to research the real progression of the jw understanding of this parable.

i put the results of my research in an excel spreadsheet.. .

scratchme1010

nmthinker, thank you for sharing. I'm glad you posted the (image of your) spreadsheet. Personally I don't need any of that information for my own personal realization, but it's good to keep certain things current for in case I need to talk to any of my JW family members.

25

2016 death of my father who told me don't come back if your a Witness...still hurts my soul! Warning you all!!

by Witness 007 in

i last spoke to my father in march 1990. we finished a "quick build" kingdom hall and i had a 17 year old spiritual awakening and decided to drop high school to pioneer full time.

(yes i was a dumb ass) he was not happy since my parents were divorced he was catholic.

we had a arguement and he said stay in school get a degree...and dont come back if your a witness!!

scratchme1010

I'm so sorry for your loss, and trust many of us, we know exactly the pain you are experiencing. My condolences for your father passing.

Before anything else, I'd like you to address these things that you say in your post to describe yourself and your actions. You refer yourself and your actions as:

dumb ass
arogant and stuborn asshole
self righteous
pious dumb shit
poor poor white trash
I wasted our relationship
I ruined my family

I think you are being a little too harsh on yourself. Don't talk about yourself in those terms. It harms you. Remember these few things. It is every father's responsibility to reach out and be there for his children, even if the child rejects him. It was not ok for him to just go along with you leaving. He shunned you too. Blaming people doesn't do any good, but being aware that there is a shared responsibility when it comes to that relationship can help you understand that you are not the solely responsible for things not going well.

The situation turned unfortunate, but it was mixture of poor decision making on both parts. Also remember, you were made believe a lot of nonsense, so you were doing the best you could with the information you had.

You can forgive yourself for playing a role in an unfortunate relationship. And you can take responsibility for your decisions and actions, but degrading yourself and feel completely guilty of causing the entire thing is just not realistic.

It is a sad situation, but please be gentle with yourself. That way you will be able to see the entire picture.

My condolences.

31

1000 Years is Like 1 Day?

by Sorry in

anyone else hear about this.

as all j-dubs know, whenever someone complains about how long the "new system" is taking too arrive, they use the excuse that jehovah works on his own time.

quite a few times during the public talks, i've heard speakers say the phrase "1000 years to us is only one day to jehovah" (my parents never stop talking about this).

scratchme1010

Anyone else hear about this. As all j-dubs know, whenever someone complains about how long the "new system" is taking too arrive, they use the excuse that Jehovah works on his own time. Quite a few times during the public talks, I've heard speakers say the phrase "1000 years to us is only one day to Jehovah" (my parents never stop talking about this). I don't recall seeing this in any literature. Whenever I ask other witnesses, some have heard it, but many have not. Have any of you seen or heard this? Where did that particular number come from (because others have said it's only 100)?

I grew up hearing that crap all the time. It's just more nonsense, used at their convenience and as an extremely contrived way of explaining why people have dedicated their entire lives, die and never get to see their ridiculous paradise on Earth.

23

Another Subliminal Image? On the JW Website

by The Searcher in

jw
friends

this image appears on the current main web page - as you scroll the "witnessing" photos.. weird "facial" image at the guy's right shoulder.. .

scratchme1010

I never got that subliminal message in an image nonsense. I think the WT does a pretty good job with their direct messages, no need to have subliminal anything.

17

HLC and privacy rights

by StarTrekAngel in

some time ago i used to work at a hospital.

when my family members would receive treatment at this place, often times they would ask me if i could look up information for them regarding their health.

i always had to tell them that privacy laws did not allow me to bypass the hospital's administration.

scratchme1010

I too agree that they think that they are above the law. Remember, they claim that this current system is worthless, deserving of destruction, and that they and only they are the ones with the one and only truth and in the path of remaining on Earth after all those "filthy" hospitals get destroyed.

That grandiosity is what they come to hospitals with, demanding access to protected patient information.