Posts by scratchme1010

No, don't need to. Have more important things to do. Been out of that nonsense for decades and have lived quite well without needing "the truth", whatever you think that means.

20

My Father passed away & i'm suicidal. I want to talk to somebody

by Qrystal in

in summary, my dad passed away not to long ago, 8 months ago, on april while i was 12. i'm 13 and i've been grieving for 6 months now and im suicidal.

i'm not doing this to get attention, but to talk to someone.

my dad was a jehovah's witness and i want to talk to all of you.

scratchme1010

Sorry about your loss. I'm not sure that posting here will help you, but I'm glad that you are reaching out. The suicide help lines have people who are better trained to help suicidal people.

Feel free to post, but please understand that we speak our minds her an may not tell you what you may like/need to hear.

17

Are You Spending More Money This Year With The Economy Being Better?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i see more people this year in an optimistic mood because of the economy.

will you be spending more money 💰 this year, or less or about the same as last year?.

scratchme1010

Retirement savings - check
emergency fund savings - check
paying off debt on an accelerated plan - check

Now we're talking. Yes, that's great, and I do believe on the flip side too. I believe in saving and investing for the future, but not at the expense of depriving myself.

With that out of the way, no, I'm still not spending more because I'm now saving for a better house or another house, whatever makes more sense.

Also, I don't see shopping and spending as a hobby or something cool. You'd never see me in a mall, and I may be one of those few who doesn't have an Amazon account.

22

Good Works by "worldly people".

by Lost in the fog in

i have friends who are called "worldly people" by jws.

these people are actively involved in feeding the homeless over christmas.

managing thrift shops so they can send financial aid overseas to poorer children.

scratchme1010

I stopped giving money to the Borg long ago. I gladly give money to my worldly friends and their charitable services. Jesus Christ fed the poor and the hungry.

I like your post. One of the things that I hate about the WT is their attitude of not doing anything for anyone other than themselves and they reason they give is the "not part of the world" crap. I'm not fond of other religions, but at least there are things like Catholic Charities, and other nonprofit community organization that provide shelters, schools, food, and other things. The WT is all about them, and only them.

That's part of the reason why after I left got involved in volunteering for a number of things and still do. I am part of the world and love every single part of it.

17

Can't believe we are still here

by moreconfusedthanever in

just this week i had the jws knock on my door.

sisters from my old congregation.

we exchanged the usual polite conversation.

scratchme1010

Why would this evidence alone not wake them up?

People stay JWs for several reasons, such as:

They are dysfunctional
They are too invested in the WT and now leaving implies walking way from loved ones
They are too invested in the WT and now leaving implies dealing with the anger for the time, life and energy wasted
They continue to believe the Jehovah crap
They still fear living outside of the WT bubble
They are too proud or stubborn to admit that they are wrong

Leaving, to some, has many implications and it's not an easy thing to do.

38

How do I handle this?

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

a little advice please.. it's now 7 months since i stopped going to meetings.

we still get regular calls by elders - at least every 2 weeks.

i can handle them.

scratchme1010

So, how do I respond to it? I can hardly tell this slip of a girl that I won't set foot in the hall ever again, that my brother got away with molesting me and the other zillion reasons I now know about this religion. Plus I am fading, I don't want to give anyone a reason to report me.
So, do I just send a nice letter back, thanking her for her concern or what? What would you do?

I wouldn't respond. To me it's clear that cynical you is right. That's a person that you just don't know, and the entire event is just as strange as the rest of the JWs. It is a manipulative thing.

The important thing here (in my humble opinion) is you, not only how do your feel about that kind of plot to get you back into the meeting, but also, how do you feel about those efforts? Do you have doubts about your decision for it? Is that making you think twice?

I don't know your particular reasons for leaving the JWs, but whatever void they were filling, have you replaced them with something more fulfilling?

The JWs love to have the last word in everything, and they like things done their way and because they say so, and they use whatever they can come up with to accomplish that, including using children (trust me, I was used that way many times).

Do you want those people in your life? If no, ignore and keep going with your life. Fading is not for them, is not something they like and will let you do peacefully. Fading is you gaining the strength and support and filling your life with whatever you need so you can set appropriate boundaries with them and tell them to leave you alone when/if appropriate.

42

Kingdom Hall ... BURGER KING?

by sparky1 in

i live in a very rural part of the northeastern united states.

after 9 years of waiting, the local witnesses are getting their new kingdom hall.

it is being built on a back road next to a sandpit.

scratchme1010

Will a KH have drive-thru Bible Studies?

17

Are You Spending More Money This Year With The Economy Being Better?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i see more people this year in an optimistic mood because of the economy.

will you be spending more money 💰 this year, or less or about the same as last year?.

scratchme1010

I see more people this year in an optimistic mood because of the economy. Will you be spending more money 💰 this year, or less or about the same as last year?

I find that a very sad statement. Spend, spend, spend. That's a horrible mentality, if you ask me.

I'd rather ask "would you open an account to pay for your children's college?", "would you catch up with retirement savings now that you know that Armageddon isn't around the corner?" or "would you pay off your debts faster?"

55

Very Lost

by Jrjw in

hi i've been a jw for 12 years and got married 2 years ago.

i'm now separated.

my husband hid from me that he suffered from depression, extreme anxiety issues and a personality disorder.

scratchme1010

Now I have to try to accept that i am going to be lonely for the rest of my life since I can't go into another relationship. Its so cruel that he lied to get me to marry him and I have to suffer coz of it. I'm only 34. I was so happy in the truth til I married him

First, sorry that you seem hurt. Has to be very difficult to be in a situation where you were mislead (somewhat, since at the end seems like he was right since you are separated, but that's besides the point).

Second, please know that this is not a forum for active JWs, so if you still are and active JW, and you don't mention anything about your standing with that organization, I hope that you accept our understanding and support keeping in mind that some of use have and want nothing to do with that organization.

That out of the way, I hope that you can put your pain aside and manage to see things from a more realistic way. Seems like your relationship with that man was your entire world, and seemingly that includes your own being a JW (You were happy in the truth until you married him?). I'm putting aside my own feelings and opinions for that organization, but why does your relationship with him gets in that way in your relationship with the god you worship?

My point is that it seems like you are giving that relationship too much power. Thinking the way JWs do, nothing is supposed to hinder your relationship with your Jehovah, and during hard times is when you are supposed to hold on to him, not the other way around.

I think that your JW training, and maybe your own upbringing may be promoting this all-or-nothing, black-and-white mentality that is very common in people who follow christian religions.

Yes, he lied, he lied about MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. As much as you are suffering, I'm not sure that you are being completely fair about his own suffering and self esteem right now, particularly since he lost you.
I know that living with a person with a mental disability, knowing that person as such, is quite a monumental burden to carry, as much as you love that person. Entering a marriage without knowing has to be horrible. HOWEVER, him entering the marriage with the responsibility of disclosing that, knowing the risk of what he did, on top of having to deal with not one, not two, three mental health diagnoses, has to be quite horrible for himself.

Why am I talking about him and not you? Because you are acting like a perfect JW in your relationship. You are making it about "he lied to me", claiming that your own life (if you are a JW and your relationship with your Jehovah seems to be ending because of him, that means in JW-ese that your life is over, no paradise, no eternity, no nothing) is over because of him. For real? You think that a failed relationship completely destroyed your ability to form another one in the future, have a family, and even your own faith and your own chance of living forever? And all because he lied to you about a health condition (ok, three)?

I think that you are too hurt to realize that you are making a catastrophe out of a failed relationship. He does not have the power to destroy your life, you do.