So having said all that... I'm not looking to focus on negativity...
just looking to connect with others who can relate because well, like I
said, I feel alone lol.
Welcome to the forum (bienvenida). Sorry you're going through so much.
The only thing it occurs to me aside from the thoughts and suggestions that other have provided, is to seek help and support outside any spiritual setting. Mental health professionals help with cognitive dissonance, resentment, and loneliness, that is, those who are prepared or specialize in that area.
Maybe you haven't considered the alternative of seeking professional help because of the fear and neglect around it that the WT instill on people (they have no education, training nor interest in helping with any issue of mental health, self esteem, or mental well being, and they never admit that there are issues and problems that their magic Jehovah cannot address properly).
Then, I don't know if you're in the kind of Hispanic family that thinks that counseling or professional therapy means that "te has vuelto loca" and dismisses anything around seeking professional help. If you feel reluctant, please give it a chance, many of us have been able to move on properly and deal with the great changes and challenges imposed by getting disfellowshipped by obtaining this kind of support.
There are psychologists, counselors, social workers and support groups that specialize in the negative influence of groups and relationships like the JWs. I recommend these people who have a lot of experience in the matter and run a free support group.
http://www.blgoldberg.com/
I hope this helps.
Once again, welcome.