scratchme1010

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Posts by scratchme1010

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  19

  Conditional Love

  by Saethydd in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've noticed several posts recently claiming that jw friends and family members give out conditional love.

  well, i'm not so sure that is entirely accurate, in fact, i would say they tend to be very steadfast in their love.

  the issue is this, they have been taught a poor form of love.

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  scratchme1010

  Everybody has a different situation, and perhaps I would view things differently had I been shunned for decades, but I would rather not get so wrapped up in my own pain that I start assuming motives that paint the people around me as cruel and vindictive. After all is that not what the WTBTS says about apostates? That they are wicked people who just want to drag you down with them.
  

  In my humble opinion, wise words. You may want to consider the difference between feelings and intentions. They in fact inflict pain in people, but what they believe is that they are in fact trying to "save" you. Also, please note that looking at people in a labeling manner as "good" or "bad" goes more with the black and white mentality that they WT teaches.

  You are right, when I think of my family they do love/loved me. That didn't do me any good in all the crap the threw at me. You can love and still remain detached.
  
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  32

  A brother repeated a "rumor" from the platform last night.

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i seem to remember many talks and articles in the past about repeating rumors.last night before going into the book study the conductor said something to the effect, "i heard a rumor and i don't know if it's true but the rumor is that in the future we will be using only;y videos at the door.".

  anyone else heard this "rumor"?.

  and whats up with repeating rumors from the platform?

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  scratchme1010

  And whats up with repeating rumors from the platform?
  

  I don't know nor care to find out about the video thing. However, it is a mistake to think that the WT is against rumors and gossip. Rumors and gossip are the backbone of their manipulation and control of their people. They let it happen and use it to their advantage.

  Interesting that if you ask any JW, most-to-all are of the belief that gossip and rumor is a problem only in their congregation and that such things are not common anywhere else. Try it. Ask around.
  
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  26

  Do you think I should get something for my wife for her birthday?

  by schnell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife is still nominally in, but only because it "makes me (her) happy".

  there is nothing academic about her beliefs and when i try, she interprets me as negative.. but then she cusses like a sailor and watches certain movies with me.

  her birthday is coming up and it's also right around valentine's day.

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  scratchme1010

  Her birthday is coming up and it's also right around Valentine's Day. Should I get her something? What do you think?
  

  The very first thing that comes to mind is PLEASE don't give her what I call a guy present. Really, some women are very particular and demanding when it comes to presents and gifts, so if you decide to give her something, make sure it is something that she will value, not something that will perplex her or make her roll her eyes.

  That said, I wonder if you could give her a little bit of a hint about it, maybe to gauge where she's standing with the birthday gift thing. She herself may be able to tell you. If that doesn't work or not a possibility, then maybe taking a risk will be the thing to do. If you just risk it, do you think that she will go as far as taking you to a JC? And if that's the case, will you be ok with that? Measure consequences.

  One more thing, and this is from my own experience. If you find that she's not cool with the birthday gift, please don't confuse that with her still being "all in". Some JWs and many ex-JWs I know can't care less about anything JW but for some reason they hold on to some of their practices. As I mentioned before, I had an ex-JW roommate who is as gay as I am and did a whole lot of wordly things, yet, he would never accept a birthday gift. The same may be the case with your wife. Even if a person is completely checked out of the WT, there are some things they still choose to keep.
  
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  20

  Why do you get upset about family shunning you?

  by mr_doubtful in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i understand people love their family but i also don't understand why you end up caring in the end.

  i'm ready to leave and i 100% don't expecting my family to have any contact with me nor do i want them to contact me.

  if they are going to chose a man made religion over me, that's their choice and i will sleep easy at night.

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  scratchme1010

  I refuse to shed one tear over people letting religion affect them that badly. Nor give them the satisfaction that the DF'ing is working and that I am longing for a chance to communicate with them.
  

  My unasked-for advice is to keep open to the possibility of that changing in time. In my experience, it has changed over time. I decided to walk away from them (my family), I did, then I changed my mind, attempted several times to reestablish any kind of relationship, didn't work out, and they are now out of my life for good.

  However, before you say "then what's the point?" please keep in mind that those actions were taken by me FOR ME, not for them. As I grew older and wiser, I realized that making a definite decision about "shunning them back" was in fact, a decision made under the black and white mentality of the same cult that I wanted to be away from. It is important to make decisions by and for yourself, and as I lived my life I needed to revisit a number of ecisions I made that at the time I didn't realized were still influenced by that organization.

  Furthermore, the indoctrination and brainwashing of that organization has absolutely nothing to do with the love I know some of my family members feel/felt for me. Those are things that I needed to experience and learn, and shutting the doors pr burning bridges behind you may hurt your growth as a human being.

  You are 100% right about the cult and the attitude you should have towards it, but making such definite decisions around tour loved ones seems to be influenced by the very cult you want to get rid of.

  Just my two cents.
  
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  20

  "I'm Perfect, You're Doomed" . Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey all,.

  we have purchased a bunch of great books recently, and one of them is from author kyria abrahams called "i'm perfect, you're doomed".

  i'm only 5 chapters in at this stage, but i just have to share that this is a great read!.

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  scratchme1010

  Sounds very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I'll look for the book.
  
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  11

  Close, Critical Analysis of "Should Others Make Decisions for Us"

  by cognisonance in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  should others make decisions for us?.

  ) we should not give someone else the responsibility to make decisions for us.

  rather, we should personally learn what is right in god’s eyes and choose to do it.. how might we give in to the danger of letting others choose for us?

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  scratchme1010

  It's a "it's your decision for as long as it's aligned with what we tell you", or "it's your choice but if you choose anything other than what we say your family will shun you, you will live a horrible life and you will get killed for your decision". They are so horrible people.
  
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  8

  Think about what they could use their money for

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  religions wealth has always made me squirm.

  from the catholic church, with its golden city and priceless relics, to the mormons and their absurd temple and huge big fat bank account.

  the jw's are the same.

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  scratchme1010

  Think about the money they've got if it is indeed true that they got 1 billion dollars for Brooklyn.
  

  That's only one event. People don't think about the instant millions of dollars they used to make in a single assembly by announcing one new book, back when the printing media was profitable.
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  41

  Witnesses really hate it when you appear to leave.

  by schnell in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have a certain customer, whom we will call sally.

  i know sally only by face and only through work.

  i am a truck driver on a local dedicated route, and i often deliver to her work.

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  scratchme1010

  What gets me is that Witnesses really really hate it when they see someone leave. I understand, having been in, but this awkward frustration is so artificial and unnecessary. It's a free country, you're free to leave a religion, and their own website CLAIMS that people can leave at any time.

  I mean, it's not a cult, now, is it?

  I think that there are different emotions lingering around her when she sees you. My guesses are:

  • Perplexed; you are not supposed to look happy and well balanced
  • Cautious; if you still look happy and well balanced, that's supposed to change; she may be expecting for you to show your "true evil, son of Satan side", or she may be expecting you to try to convince her of joining you in "the world".
  • Afraid; as a JW, did she get to see you preaching, or in a meeting, or a convention? She may not know the degree of involvement you had in your congregation. She may think that you were disfellowshipped and she's supposed to treat you certain way if you were, as opposed to the way a non-baptized person who leaves is supposed to be treated
    
  • Angry at you - if she's a zealous JW, for you leaving her Jehovah
    
  • Angry at herself - if she's not a zealous JW, for her not leaving her stupid Jehovah
  • Confused - She may have limited information about you and she may not know what to make of your behavior
    

  Either way, the effect of the cult is perfectly evident and present. If you notice, all her feelings are severely influenced by the WT.
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  7

  my letter to my molestor

  by jehovahismyshepard in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i wrote the following in my therapy sessions to treat my sexual abuse as an adult.

  i thought that you should know that i recently discovered the reason i am weird and at times react strange there is a part of me that will never go away .... no matter how hard i try to control or hide it everyday it will always show it will always stay .. i. thought that you should know this indescribable grueling act of what you did ., that inside my adult mind and body you locked up and left for ever a trapped kid...do you know how hard it must be to accept that ?

  do you even care ?do you ever feel bad when you look in the mirror who do you see when you stare?

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  scratchme1010

  Thank you for sharing this. I feel for you.
  
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  55

  Why so few XJWs online?

  by StephaneLaliberte in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  not too long ago, i posted a topic where i pointed out that there are about 1 million xjws alive right now.

  that number only represented the disfellowshipped ones... didn't account for those who had become publishers and left or anyone else who got hurt by that group by proxy.

  so, why are there so few of them online?

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  scratchme1010

  I respectfully disagree that there are few ex-jws online.

  Though I don't blame people for moving on with their lives, when I look at the damages that the watchtower actually causes in people's life, I do feel that there is a social responsibility that should not be ignored.
  

  There are many, many different ways of being socially responsible without being a loud activist or having high visibility. Besides, I think that many of us had it with saving the world from something. I am respectful of any way in which every single ex-jw chooses to live afterwards. I provide support and my thoughts, but I am not on a mission to convince or save anyone. I share my thoughts and opinions, but I am in no way interested in showing anyone the light.