Actually, stuckinarut2, that may not be cognitive dissonance at all. She may be as brainwashed, led to believe that such behavior is appropriate and normal.
With my family they thought that it was ok to contact me when they need something from me, but not for anything else. That was taught to them; it was not coming from any form of thinking and rationalizing illogical behaviors. It was brainwashing.
I also remember when suddenly one of my sisters called me because "now they are allowed to reach out", without any consideration of if I even wanted to talk to her. Again, they were just blindly following directives that were given to them.
Cognitive dissonance comes mostly from a place where the actions or words behind their believes are challenged, as opposed to when they just do things following what they have been told to do.
Sad, indeed, and sorry is the right way to feel about them.