Posts by Stella3

7

Helping someone to wake up to "the truth about the truth"

by stuckinarut2 in

we all have loved one that we wish we could "wake up" from the society.. of course it is not wise to force them with information, as that could just cause their defences to go up and make them dig their heals in.. this reminded me of an illustration that the society actually used at a convention many years back:.

if we want someone to move out of their dilapidated, run down and dangerous house that they are sentimentally attached to, we cant just grab them and drag them out.

they will object.. but, if we build a brand-new, safe, secure attractive home right next door and allow them to see it be built, their curiosity will be sparked.

Stella3

I am actually going through this very thing right now. My sister was disfellowshipped a little over a year ago and at first her only goal was to get back in. But she started to feel slighted by a lot of people and I made it my personal priority to be there for her, never judge her, always listen and show her that not all 'worldly people' are rotten. I let her move into my house and see the loving relationship I have with my husband and how my friends all spend their days trying to be better people then they were yesterday. My mom and dad aren't speaking to her. None of the friends she's known her whole life are speaking to her. But here we are smothering her in kindness, acceptance and unconditional love. It speaks volumes. She recently decided that going to meetings only brings her guilt and shame. It actually makes her think she wants to die. When she isn't going to meetings life seems a little more bearable. Either way my mission is to be supportive ... I think that's how she will learn TTATT

6

Family

by Stella3 in

jw
friends

i posted a month or two ago about my recently disfellowshipped sister who was feeling massive amounts of shame and doubt.

i moved out of my home state 5 years ago so she has come to visit me twice since she has been df'd and she loves it here.

i am a recovered alcoholic (5 years clean and sober) and spend my days with the most amazing non judgmental people i've ever met.

Stella3

Hi everyone,

i posted a month or two ago about my recently disfellowshipped sister who was feeling massive amounts of shame and doubt. I moved out of my home state 5 years ago so she has come to visit me twice since she has been df'd and she loves it here. I am a recovered alcoholic (5 years clean and sober) and spend my days with the most amazing non judgmental people I've ever met. When she is here she feels loved and accepted. Half of her wants to pick up and move here but then she has my mom and dad laying on the doomsday stuff really thick. Every time she leaves visiting me and goes home I get texts everyday about how she doesn't want to 'be' anymore. I've been successful in getting her to think for herself a little bit but every time she does she feels guilty and the cognitive dissociation kicks in.. She has acknowledged that most of her responses to my questions are scripted. Not actually coming from what she believes. She just says things like this is 'all I know because it's all I've been taught.' I am doing my best to be as supportive and loving to her as I am allowed to be. My fear is tomorrow is their convention and I've already read the horror of what this years program looks like. My mom has already started to limit her assosiation with me since my sister has made me such a close confidant. My mom is starting to treat me like an enemy instead of family. It hurts a lot. Honestly I am not sure what this thread is about. Sometimes I guess I just need to hear from other people who understand all of this nonsense. My husband is massively supportive but it still baffles him a lot of the time. I've been away from the org so long (12 years) and all of this that's going on with my sister had just stirred up a lot of Jw craziness. I have hope for my sister that I never had before. Maybe she will wake up and have the life she's always wanted instead of living for rules and other people. I just want her to have the happiness that I've found.

24

Helping my family see the truth about 'the truth'

by Stella3 in

this is my first time joining a forum like this.

i grew up in the jw religion.

i was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally.

Stella3

I just spoke to my mom. I was talking to her about my sister and how she needs to move out of their house because she is 32 years old and needs to take responsibility for her own life Ect. Then it dawned on me that if my sister moves out of my moms house then my parents wouldn't speak to her. I asked my mom if this was true and all she could respond was 'yes that would be tough but that's not the situation we are in fortunately'

I think that because I left at such a young age and haven't had to deal with being disfellowshiped only limited I actually forgot that it was a real possibility for my sister. It makes me so upset. I have this loving and caring mom who is totally run by this organization, what a mess. How does the GB sleep at night.

17

False reasoning behind some of the WT rules?

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

what are some false reasoning's behind some of the wt rules?.

birthdays:.

why is it forbidden as a jw to celebrate birthdays?

Stella3

I am curious about where they get that 144,000 are the only ones that are supposed to partake in the blood and wine?

Do they consider the apostles part of the 144,000 or is it 144,000 plus the people in the bible?

24

Helping my family see the truth about 'the truth'

by Stella3 in

this is my first time joining a forum like this.

i grew up in the jw religion.

i was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally.

Stella3

It seems like the best thing i can do is to just educate myself as best i can and hope for little openings to plant seeds here and there. Sometimes i forget how well they are trained to defend themselves.

Around christmas time she was down visiting me (this was before she was DF'd) and she came at me about christmas and how they have the best translation of the bible and all sorts of topics trying to prove that she had the truth and my beliefs were false. i was so ill equipped to handle the conversation. i walked away in tears and she walked away feeling like she won. This is what made me decide to finally do some research and talk to people who know more about TTAT.

So i am a novice at all of this even though i have been away from the organization for 12 years. I basically just turned a blind eye and said at least they still speak to me. But now that I've done the research and know for sure that its all a lie i guess i just want them to know what they are following and that they don't have to live in fear.

24

Helping my family see the truth about 'the truth'

by Stella3 in

this is my first time joining a forum like this.

i grew up in the jw religion.

i was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally.

Stella3

Thank you for your kind responses. I guess deep down i know that there is little i can do. Its just so sad to know that they have devoted their lives to this lie.

My sister is so broken and i try to help the best I can but she just keeps saying things like she wants to just die and wake up in the New System. Everytime i try to encourage her she just repeats things like 'i hope Jehovah can forgive me' i just want her to have the peace to forgive herself.

I have found happiness outside of the JWs and i just wish the same for her. My parents have been JWs for 40 years it would take some sort of miracle for them to leave everything they know but i still feel like there is hope for my sister. i just feel so helpless. i am happy to have a place to talk to others who can relate to my experience.

24

Helping my family see the truth about 'the truth'

by Stella3 in

this is my first time joining a forum like this.

i grew up in the jw religion.

i was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally.

Stella3

This is my first time joining a forum like this. I grew up in the jw religion. I was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally. When i turned 18 i moved out and got away completely. Somehow i escaped being disfellowshipped. My family is still very active jws but they speak to me, fortunately. There are still so many boundaries on our relationship. They didn't come to my wedding, they never call me i have to be the one to call them, they wouldn't come to my house until i was married, sometimes we argue and i get the 'we just want you with us' speech. Regardless i am grateful that they are able to have a relationship with me even if it is strained. Recently i have done a ton of research about the jws and now i know to my core that its all BS.

My sister was in a marriage with a man she didn't love and because there was no way out she cheated. They disfellowshipped her and now she is living at my parents house at 32 years old and no one she knows can speak to her. While she is going through a divorce. It blows my mind how insensitive they can be while claiming to be compassionate. Anyways so my sister still believes completely and wants to get reinstated. But i desperately want to help her to see the truth about this without being labeled as an apostate. has anyone been successful in helping their families? if so, any tips for me?