I personally find that in helping someone out ,one has to be very patient and subtle. Not like a canon ball-barraging them with all that is wrong with the organization. Ofcourse different strokes for different folks but in my friends (2) case this approach has been true in helping the friend out. When I first mentioned something(sorry cant remember what it was), I got slapped in the face with(not literally) "Are you becoming an apostate? that is seriously bordering on apostate speech !"
I was shocked and afraid too coz I was a fresh PIMO.I could not believe that my best friend would not even give me a chance and reason with me,leave alone correct my thinking if I have gone astray of the truth ! I immediately excused myself and left the matter there and apologized.
Next I only brought another subject up at the KH when a letter was read about signing a pledge of money every month. I just asked pretending not to clearly understand how it was voluntary,....somewhere on those lines. The person willingly obliged to discuss this so I took th opportunity to discuss different scenarios of different families in the cong and how this seems unreasonable n all. the person was happy to see my point too and possibly a seed was sown.I dont know coz I cant read minds.
Next after quite a while I mentioned about a child abuse case going on in a nearby cong with a brother involved. The person did not indulge me too much but was willing to hear my reasoning out .How can elders close thier eyes to this,sweep under the carpet; all children at risk if not taken proper action etc etc. My friend did not answer much but could see my line of reasoning.and boy I quoted one or two scriptures in order to make the person feel that I was just not fathoming all this and I was actually discussing with my friend for explanation.
Nothing much came out of this one but after a month or so when my friend was working with the PO of our cong , he mentioned about the same child abuse case and discussed in more detail with the friend.That must have struck another seed somehwere and I assume my friend seemed to start to believein me; what I had shared in the past with my friend; my confusions and doubts too. Immediately after, I got a phone call to meet for lunch. I was scared that my friend had ratted me out to the PO (Who is PIMI). We met and my friend then discussed what the PO said and then my friend wanted to see where I got the info from. Mind you I only showed the news article nothing else. This opened my friends eyes some.
Then on every time a letter was read at the hall ie merge of KH'S; The loans canceleld etc I started discussing what was not sounding right at all. Things that any thinking person would question. If my friend could answer my questions , it sounded reasonable or not I would let things be ,I would not counter attack or counter question,Thereby laying a foundation of trusting my friend as a sounding board and leaning on my friend.
I would say this was a long process of patiently biding ones time and keeping emotions in check .
In a few months the one who believed strongly in Jehovah, now has serious doubts and makes statements like if God exists then.....! I am happy to say that I have never influenced my friend just pointed out my doubts, why I struggled to accept, beieve, trust the organization that is all. If my friend has answers then to enlighten me and lead me to the right path .
Now my friends are both POMO. So my suggestion is not to try to steer too hard or else the car can careen out of control and there be a lot of damage and you do not want that. please be patient,this cant be hurried.
Sorry this was long but not long enough coz it took ages to come to this stage for me. I do not try to influence anyone, just nudge them to start thinking for themselves and whatever they conclude in or out will be thier decision toatlly and I will respect that.
Zing