Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.
I did text my Bible teacher earlier to admit I was feeling doubts and the like over things, he reminded me of how Jesus and his followers lied about in their ministry, "lies and false stories" launched against true-worship via news or "friends", and looking at such things is deliberately putting one in harms way. Following up to that he advised the he is not going to discuss all accusations as theres no point to it and advised to read the following scripture:
Prov 14:15, Matt 5:10-12, John 10:4-5, most of which I do understand and acknowlege as very possible means of harming one's faith... although again going back to the misquoted stuff that got me thinking, its just really off to me about the "staying away from secular sources" but its obvious that the Watchtower quotes secular sources all the time. I know they frame it as its because the governing body has approved it for us so its okay at that point, but again, falling into the misquote stuff, it makes it hard to swallow now that said food is being distilled in a manner that I find dubious. I'm sure I'm just singing to choir on that, but its really conflicting my feelings when the idea of corrupted facts can easily be defended on their end but also shows up on their side.
But as everyone (on both sides) has told me, baby steps.