Posts by Unstuck

31

Oh this stoopid shunning thing!!

by Unstuck in

warning - vent ahead....... so, my father (still very much in jw but who has at least had the decency to still keep in contact with me and hubby and to show interest in why we aren't attending and respect where we are at) is in intensive care at a local hospital and is intubated and sedated with some serious health issues.

i'm next of kin so i get all the phone calls from the hospital.. so, the rest of the "family" has cut me off because we are inactive and because the ever-active jw gossip grapevine has rumoured with a sibilant slithy hissy voice: "apossstassssy" is the cause of our inactivity.. whatever.. but now i've had to contact said "family" with the news about my father and what is going on....... so, dad's sisters answer my calls and manage to act and conduct themselves with a degree of decorum.. my sister on the other hand - well, she doesn't deign to answer my calls and texts for most of the day.

i push the issue tonight and insist on speaking to her when my brother-in-law answers the call.

Unstuck

Hi All - UPDATE TIME!

So Dad is actually doing quite well. He's home now about eight weeks, I've managed to get a home care package set up and he has carers coming Monday to Friday. I'm taking him to doctor's appointments, have taken over managing his finances and am supporting him financially to the value of about $150/wk. I tell you this not to "blow my own trumpet" but to give you context to what has happened this week. (Although I know that here is a safe place to sing my praises if I want to!!) He's ok (kinda) with my, shall we call it "inactivity"? He doesn't know I don't believe anymore and given the complex circumstances it is probably better that way, for now.

Anyhoo - Dad agreed with my plan to get Power of Attorney and Enduring Guardianship and we went to a local lawyer to get it organised. Dad and I decided to make my sister alternate (not co-joint!) attorney and guardian if something were to happen to me. We felt that this would include her and that if she didn't want to be included, well then, we would just proceed without her. So we executed the documents three weeks ago and our lawyer sends them off to my sister to get her to sign them - she lives about 1,700kms away.

This Monday I contact the lawyer to find out how we are going with the docs. Surprise, surprise - they've not had a response. So they contact her - she doesn't answer the call, they leave a voicemail. 30 minutes later they receive an email from her and they forward it to me - enjoy this little lovely item (which I've de-identified):

"Dear Sir/Madam,

I refer to your above client and note receipt of documentation in relation to 'Power of Attorney & Appointment of Enduring Guardian'.

As this matter was never fully discussed with both me and my husband in any real detail by either "Dad's name" ( and never once discussed with us by "my name"), we are unable at this point to sign the papers. We are also seeking legal advice in relation to this and have been advised that due to "dad" being released from hospital only a week before instructing your firm about the appointment of an Enduring Guardian, and also that he is on regular pain medication, that this appointment would be invalid in Court due to these circumstances. I will have our legal representation draft a letter of reply regarding our concerns about this appointment and my apparent substitute appointment.

I also instruct that any future contact with both myself or my husband, should be conducted via email for legal purposes so we can place all correspondence on file.

Yours faithfully,"

So there you have it. Now we have to pay more legal fees because my sister wants to fight a fight that doesn't actually exist!

Dad took the news quite well. He is very grateful for the help we are providing and he feels that my sister is not well to be so spiteful.

I'm doing ok with it all - I actually think it is funny becuase it is so stupid and my sister is going to end up looking like the fool just cos she has it in for me. It's sad really......

Love and light to all,

Mwah - Unstuck

11

Sufjan Stevens Watchtower Collage video

by scotsman in

i think many of us will recognise where sufjan’s got his clippings from.

https://youtu.be/22qkbw_c_ym.

.

Unstuck

Ha ha Fisherman - it's called culture and he has an amazing voice. He's not for everyone, I grant you - but I have a broad musical library and like to expand my horizons.....

And if I hadn't seen him I wouldn't know that he shares something in common with all born-in JWs, being raised as he was. He broke away from it - so he can't be all that bad!

11

Sufjan Stevens Watchtower Collage video

by scotsman in

i think many of us will recognise where sufjan’s got his clippings from.

https://youtu.be/22qkbw_c_ym.

.

Unstuck

This is very interesting - thanks for sharing scotsman. Hubby and I saw Sufjan in concert a few years back and he shared that he was raised in a fundamentalist Bible-belt group (from what I remember he told us that evening). His parents sounded positively loopy.

I'm curious as to his inspiration for this clip. There will be more behind it......he doesn't strike me as a gullible type and his songs are usually loaded with meaning.

34

Today's W.T when it mentioned Depression and Anxiety

by Isambard Crater in

our co-ordinator put his hand up and commented saying that people who go on about how depressed or anxious they are just need to stop giving in to impulses and show more self control without letting their emotions rule their lives.. if anyone from the media, a government agency or some other public body heard a comment like that, they'd have a hard time exercising self control over the rubbish this elder spouted, which my friends and family with genuine depression found insulting..

Unstuck

Commenting on the opening post - this goes to the heart of the JW culture. They are incredibly ignorant and simple-minded - such lack of understanding that it is infuriating!

Having a mother with bi-polar and a father with depression I know all too well that control has very very little to do with it.

Last week, I had a similar conversation with a very-in witness elder. We were talking about mental health illnesses. He raised multiple personality disorder and told me about a witness in his congregation a few years ago who "claimed" (his words) to have multiple personality disorder. From the behaviour he described it seemed pretty clear to me that she did indeed suffer from multiple personality disorder and I expressed sympathy for her struggle with this particular illness.

But not this elder. He sighed as we talked and then said to me: "Of course, we know that there is only one personality - the new personality."

Somehow, I managed to keep myself calm - but I told him that that was an incredibly simplistic, ignorant and narrow-minded view if he thought that mental illness could be cured by a bunch of qualities listed in the Bible. I told him that his comment revealed a gross lack of understanding of the complexity of mental health issues and I hoped that he didn't say such things to members of his flock. I then zipped my mouth for the sake of the other individual present and the elder, at least, showed a modicum of wisdom by not saying anything further.

But the episode proved to me, again, how truly ignorant, uneducated and deliberately unaware JWs are - and yes, that's how I was too, I'm ashamed to say, but not anymore. And these elders have the emotional well being of so many others in their hands and yet say such truly idiotic things. I could just imagine him saying that to one his elder buddies and them nodding and sighing in agreement - truly frightening and angering.

Heartfelt apologies if my sharing this incident is a trigger to anyone.......

Love, light and hugs to all,

Unstuck

36

Jehovahs witnesses that believe its "The Truth" vs JW's who know it isn't

by Christian Gutierrez in

jw
friends

hey guys!

what do you think is the percentage of jw's believe that it is the truth and the percentage of those who think it might be some false or all false??

?.

Unstuck

It all boils down to patriotism. JWs have been brainwashed into becoming blindly patriotic toward their organization, in much the same way that some are blindly patriotic to their country or to their soccer team or to their political party. You cannot reason with such people. Facts don't really matter to them.

OMG Island Man! I've never thought of it that way before - which is silly really because it is so obvious! It's idolatry! The rank and file idolize the GB so that it is a sin to speak against them. And I am in total agreement with your summation. When that level of blind, unreasonable, nonsensical adulation comes in to play - there is no reasoning with them whatsoever.

Thanks for your post - you've helped me see it from another angle.

Love and light to all

Unstuck

31

Oh this stoopid shunning thing!!

by Unstuck in

warning - vent ahead....... so, my father (still very much in jw but who has at least had the decency to still keep in contact with me and hubby and to show interest in why we aren't attending and respect where we are at) is in intensive care at a local hospital and is intubated and sedated with some serious health issues.

i'm next of kin so i get all the phone calls from the hospital.. so, the rest of the "family" has cut me off because we are inactive and because the ever-active jw gossip grapevine has rumoured with a sibilant slithy hissy voice: "apossstassssy" is the cause of our inactivity.. whatever.. but now i've had to contact said "family" with the news about my father and what is going on....... so, dad's sisters answer my calls and manage to act and conduct themselves with a degree of decorum.. my sister on the other hand - well, she doesn't deign to answer my calls and texts for most of the day.

i push the issue tonight and insist on speaking to her when my brother-in-law answers the call.

Unstuck

Good point incognito. I would not agree to a dual arrangement. I know that wouldn't work. I suppose I'm feeling that the playing field has changed a bit with me being inactive and maybe all I need is reassurance that he wants me to continue. Years ago, I did have Power of Attorney but that lapsed when they moved to another state. However all of his other documents name me as next of kin so when things happen it's me who gets the calls and who makes the decisions. The time has certainly come to formalise it again and I want to have that discussion when he is well enough to have it

16

1 hour 14 minute ph call from coordinator last night ?

by Chook in

i didn't recognise his number , cordial talk for 2 minutes then what can i say , the chook rose to the occasion.

i will relay main points but the order is not necessarily correct.

he wants to visit with an other elder ( i live in two states 2/3 of time in a new house in their territory, but they don't know address yet ).

Unstuck

Well done Chook! Prouda you! I think we all fantasize about what we would say, given the chance. And you just lived a few of our fantasies!

BTW - I like my roast chook with a good dolloping of gravy and crunchy roast spuds. If you lived our way, we'd put on a Sunday spread for you to celebrate your roasting!!

31

Oh this stoopid shunning thing!!

by Unstuck in

warning - vent ahead....... so, my father (still very much in jw but who has at least had the decency to still keep in contact with me and hubby and to show interest in why we aren't attending and respect where we are at) is in intensive care at a local hospital and is intubated and sedated with some serious health issues.

i'm next of kin so i get all the phone calls from the hospital.. so, the rest of the "family" has cut me off because we are inactive and because the ever-active jw gossip grapevine has rumoured with a sibilant slithy hissy voice: "apossstassssy" is the cause of our inactivity.. whatever.. but now i've had to contact said "family" with the news about my father and what is going on....... so, dad's sisters answer my calls and manage to act and conduct themselves with a degree of decorum.. my sister on the other hand - well, she doesn't deign to answer my calls and texts for most of the day.

i push the issue tonight and insist on speaking to her when my brother-in-law answers the call.

Unstuck

Thanks everybody. I'm feeling the love and understanding from you and I'm horrified at some of your stories. The cruelty is inhumane.

UPDATE - so saw dad tonight. Still intubated and sedated - basically it's a medically induced coma while his body deals with a systemic infection (pancreatitis). I took your advice and have entrenched myself with the medical team (bringing them cake tonight to say thank you for the care they are taking of dad - that always works a treat! Excuse the pun....) I call regularly and will visit each day. Along with the fact that dad assigned me next of kin - which means that if the hospital is going to call anyone, it's me. The nurses told me tonight that my sister had called but that they had to ask her questions to identify her and she hadn't appreciated that (which sounds just like her) so she is getting along fine in building her lovely reputation with the hospital staff.

When dad wakes up and is feeling better and has recovered a bit, I will let him decide what he wants. If he wants me to continue to look after him then I will happily do so but if wants my sister to, then I will respect his decision and stand aside. At the end of the day, it is his call. He can reflect (and I will help him reflect) on all the times that I have assisted and the things that I have done and how little my sister has actually done - and he can make a decision based on that. If my sister really wants to take him on (he ain't the easiest believe me!) then I'm not going to stand in her way! It's about time she actually did something! Even if her motives are a bit skewed....

On another note, I was talking with dad's sister tonight, giving her the update, (another well-entrenched JW) who asked me how things were going with my sister - I said "not so great". She was quiet for a moment and then said that she had spoken with my sister yesterday and so was just going to come out with it. She asked: "Are you disassociated?" I said: "no". She asked: "Are you disfellowshipped?" I said: "no". I stated that I would not act deceitfully with her or any of my family. If either of those things had occurred, I would say so and leave their decisions to them. She said that I had always acted honestly and with integrity with her and she thought that my answers were the case and what she expected I would say. I told her that my status was inactive - I don't go to meeting and I don't go out in field service. She said "that's between you and Jehovah". I said "yes, that's right" and since I think he is an imaginary sky daddy I'm totally fine with that - I didn't say that by the way.

Anyway, I appreciated her honesty in asking me up front. She then told me what I had long suspected. That my sister was using my inactivity as an excuse to treat me the way she was over perceived grievances on her part. (Three years ago I had stoopidly provided my sister with employment. She initially performed well but after 12 months she started to perform poorly and didn't respond to my very delicate promptings to improve. In the end, I had to terminate the contract - yes, yes, I've now learned my lesson, NEVER employ family! But anyway that's all my fault so she is now treating me poorly because she thinks she has a right to because I'm inactive.)

So I'm a bit more at ease tonight. I understand dad's condition a bit more, there is cause for hope but he has a way to go yet. I understand the family a bit better and have had an opportunity to speak for myself for a change versus the rumour mill.

And I can't thank you all enough for your support and taking the time to comment and provide me some words of wisdom - I really am very grateful and hope that one day I can impart something back (wait, that sounds suspiciously like "an interchange of encouragement" or some such nonsense..... :) )

Love and light to all

Unstuck

31

Oh this stoopid shunning thing!!

by Unstuck in

warning - vent ahead....... so, my father (still very much in jw but who has at least had the decency to still keep in contact with me and hubby and to show interest in why we aren't attending and respect where we are at) is in intensive care at a local hospital and is intubated and sedated with some serious health issues.

i'm next of kin so i get all the phone calls from the hospital.. so, the rest of the "family" has cut me off because we are inactive and because the ever-active jw gossip grapevine has rumoured with a sibilant slithy hissy voice: "apossstassssy" is the cause of our inactivity.. whatever.. but now i've had to contact said "family" with the news about my father and what is going on....... so, dad's sisters answer my calls and manage to act and conduct themselves with a degree of decorum.. my sister on the other hand - well, she doesn't deign to answer my calls and texts for most of the day.

i push the issue tonight and insist on speaking to her when my brother-in-law answers the call.

Unstuck

Warning - Vent Ahead......

So, my father (still very much in JW but who has at least had the decency to still keep in contact with me and hubby and to show interest in why we aren't attending and respect where we are at) is in intensive care at a local hospital and is intubated and sedated with some serious health issues. I'm next of kin so I get all the phone calls from the hospital.

So, the rest of the "family" has cut me off because we are inactive and because the ever-active JW gossip grapevine has rumoured with a sibilant slithy hissy voice: "apossstassssy" is the cause of our inactivity.

Whatever.

But now I've had to contact said "family" with the news about my father and what is going on......

So, dad's sisters answer my calls and manage to act and conduct themselves with a degree of decorum.

My sister on the other hand - well, she doesn't deign to answer my calls and texts for most of the day. I push the issue tonight and insist on speaking to her when my brother-in-law answers the call. She gets on the phone with a high and mighty manner, states that she isn't going to accept second hand information from me, and that she is having discussions with the local body of elders from father's congregation to discuss future plans for him - and it's pretty clear that I'm not going to be included nor consulted in these plans.

I then find out from my mother that my sister has said that she won't liaise with me or talk to me because I'm an apostate.

Note for the record: I'm not disassociated nor disfellowshipped and at no time has said sister called me to find out if said rumours are true or how I actually am.

Second note for the record: yes, yes, yes, I technically am (and am quite proud to be) labelled an apostate but I so resent that an apostate (definition: a person who renounces a religious or political belief or principle) should be demonised to such a point that family WON'T TALK TO THEM!! Even in times of family crisis......

BLAH!!! I'm wearing my cranky pants tonight and knew that there was a group of people who would totally get where I am coming from and so I vent this to you, my kindred spirits!

Love and light to all,

Unstuck

46

Believers: How do you know your view of your chosen holy book is the correct one?

by punkofnice in

don't start fighting, darlings.

i am genuinely curious.

after all i was a jobo 50 years and thought the wbt$ was 100% correct.. i ask this because i see that, for example, christian denominations (or whatever), likely have differing interpretations of the same writing.

Unstuck

I used to believe - way too much. I preached from door to door to people of faith (or no-faith) that false religion would be held accountable for deceiving people, not realising that I too was being deceived the whole time.

If there is a God (which I highly doubt now....) he makes it pretty damn impossible to know him and doesn't care if people find him or not - I mean, why all the secrecy!! Can't you just come out and show yourself?? So, I don't think there is much evidence of one.

Which then doesn't say much for his "holy book". And if you start to examine that book critically, you begin to realise that it doesn't matter which holy book you look at or which one you think is correct - because they have one single consistency - they are all MAN MADE. No inspiration, nothing divine, but a heck of a lot of hyposcrisy and contradiction.

No offence intended to any that do believe - I just can't anymore.