Unstuck

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Posts by Unstuck

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  116

  What is behind your choice of forum user name?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.

  there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.

  i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.

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  Unstuck

  Have to weigh in here - well since stuck is stuck and stuck is my hubby then I can't be Mrs Stuck - I had to be Unstuck.

  And I'm feeling more Unstuck and more liberated with every new wonderful day.

  Love and light to all 😘
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  8

  Is there Some YouTube shenanigans going on?

  by Crazyguy in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i won't name the youtube channels yet but i noticed something while listening to them.

  both channels were christian in there title both had a married couple that had both woke up and left.

  both first started waking by up when the man out in service came a cross a wonderful christian family and they explained their lives followers of christ and doing missionary work etc.. both couples wanted to pray for or with the jws at their door but it didn't happen.

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  Unstuck

  Crazyguy. I think I have stumbled across one of these because what you describe is exactly the same as what I heard - the couple was American from Texas.

  I hadn't thought it suspicious but now that you say there is a second one - and now that I think about it, it did sound a bit staged.

  Interesting......

  I look forward to seeing other comments.....
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  23

  Will there ever be an apology from GB for going beyond what's written ?

  by Chook in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just a simple " we are sorry " .

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  Unstuck

  Nup - never be an apology. Because first there would need to be acknowledgment that they had gone beyond what was written. Since that acknowledgement will never happen = no apology

  You gotta love humility! Or the lack of it......
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  49

  JW Wife not listening

  by rathernotsay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey guys, looking for some advice with what to do with my jw wife that is simply ignoring my wishes/demands.

  first a little back story, we have been married for 6 years and have 3 children together.

  she is a jw, and i am not (nor do i have any religious beliefs).

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  Unstuck

  Hi rathernotsay

  I don't envy your position right now and I've just gone back and read your previous posts - I haven't read everyone else's comments on this post so I might overlap or contradict other's comments.

  What I can say is that I pioneered (regular when it was 90 hours a month) for ten years, and it is hard work! When I was single it was much easier cos you only have yourself to worry about. But when married (and I was working three days per week to help support us) it was exceedingly hard and I teetered on burn out for the first 18 months of marriage. I was always so tired which made me not much fun to be around!

  I can't help but think that your wife is pioneering to try and make up somehow for the mistakes she has made in the past. You might find that she has some deep guilt issues and hasn't forgiven herself for her past actions. I think she is wrong to have not seriously considered the impact of this decision on you, your children and herself. It is going to be tremendously difficult to meet the hourly requirement and yet be a good mother and wife, let alone a sane individual!

  So what can you do?

  Ok - so here is my disclaimer, I'm not a therapist or counsellor and I certainly don't want to offend in anyway but I want to present something to you, a bit of a devil's advocate thing. And I don't know the dynamics of the relationship you have with her - so again please forgive me if what I suggest is just not going to work for you.

  I want you to think about things from her point of view. She's messed up right? And I say that with absolutely no judgement - I want to give her a big hug actually and tell her: "sweetheart, stop whipping yourself!". I might be entirely wrong here but with the history that you have shared with us, I interpret it that she is trying to make herself worthy somehow. And that's messed up. She won't see that of course because she's indoctrinated. But she is being told by the congregation, by the society and the peer pressure around her, that she has to do MORE - in fact, as a JW, you can never do enough, you always have to reach out to do more, sacrifice more, flog yourself harder - and even then, you still can't be said to be doing enough.

  So with that in mind rathernotsay, I would recommend that you show love, unconditional love, because she is not getting unconditional love from the JW community. I know that because as soon as you stop giving every drop you have, you start not being on the inside, you start to be judged and regarded as weak and a bad associate. If your wife fails as a pioneer, she is going to feel that and she will need support. I think you will accomplish a lot more by showing love. Speak gently and kindly. She does need to know that she is violating your personal rights by discarding your personal possessions but do so gently, calmly, with love. Statements like: "honey, that item really meant a lot to me and I treasured it. I feel that when you throw that away, what I feel doesn't matter to you. I know that's not true but that's how it makes me feel". I know that is a very female approach - but you're trying to reach a female so use a female approach. Speak the language that us woman do.

  The way you both communicate is really important here. It took my hubby and I a good 10 to 12 years to work out our communication style without getting defensive with each other - and that was without the added pressure of raising little ones! But it is possible - a lot of the time you have to let go of the anger and be willing to try and see things from the other persons point of view and appeal to one another without heat.

  Alas, I have lots of other thoughts on the subject but I fear I have more than exhausted my allocated time slot! Feel free to PM me if you think I might be of any remote assistance. I would love to help in any way that I can.

  Much love & best wishes & hugs to your little ones,

  Unstuck
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  34

  Finally ready to join the crowd.

  by Silent Knight in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, all you damn dirty apostates!

  please, allow me to join this community of diseased minds.

  i have been lurking here for over 2 years and tonight i decided it's time to come out of the shadows.

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  Unstuck

  Welcome silent knight to us "mentally diseased" lot - you know, I've never been prouder to wear the apostate label! Like you, I'm inactive, but I know the local cong is watching me and my hubby. I think they know the name he comments under - and I say: BRING IT ON!! I'm not afraid anymore and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Having said that, I will be cautious because I don't want to validate the JW opinion of apostates.

  I join my sentiments to yours - the unconditional support and love that I have received from this forum has been tremendously helpful and I find that I want to give back and help in anyway I can - while I'm still working through the crap myself.

  Anyway, silent knight (love your name by the way!), welcome and I look forward to getting to know you over the forum waves and reading about your thoughts and how you are going. Love to you and your wife (how is she by the way??)

  Unstuck
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  19

  Jerusalem's destruction.....

  by Unstuck in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  hello all - so me and stuckinarut2 are at the state library proving to ourselves that wt has it all wrong re: 607. i've read at length jwfacts, jwsurvey and crisis of conscience that all go into the subject and i've just downloaded gentile times reconsidered.. while it is fabulous to have someone else compile all the research and evidence for you, it is quite another to see it in print for yourself - and so, here we are.. while we wait for our array of books i couldn't help but share with you how the state library has catalogued jewish history - 586 bc to 70 ad.

  no mention of 607 as a key date as far as the library's catalogue is concerned!!

  evidence before we have our books!!.

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  Unstuck

  Just a very big THANK YOU to everyone who has posted on this thread. Thank you so much for taking the time. You've given me a lot to think about, mull over, and study more!!

  Love and light to all! Mwah!
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  17

  Never give up!

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i just wanted to share a quick thread to remind us all to never give up hope that our loved ones who are still mentally trapped in the org may one day wake up.. when i first starting waking up i never thought my wife would also awake.

  i have always loved and respected her ability to think and reason, but i assumed that the hold of the organisation would always have its grip on her.. but slowly, and with patience, i shared some things i had learned, and the results have been amazing!.

  my dear wife, who posts here under the name "unstuck" is so fully awake along with me.

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  Unstuck

  Hi all - stuckinarut2's other half here.

  Thank you everyone for your very kind words and thoughts - feeling the love here on the other side of the planet!

  Um - I add my words to stuck's, my first thought is for those who don't have their nearest and dearest by their side, or who have been shunned by those closest to them because you now see the "truth" for what it is - a big pile of stinking lies! I feel and share your pain - we now have aunts, sister and cousins shunning us just because we are inactive (let alone awake!). But I am grateful each day that I have my closest with me in this journey to support me and discuss things with - with no judgment but true freedom of expression and thought. It is truly a beautiful thing.

  Eyeuseto2badub - you said: "I think that the most significant thing is that she has seen me transfer from being an uptight, always worried, seldom happy, constantly busy with 'theocratic' activities, no fun elder, circuit assembly speaker, life time jw to now being a much happier, not too serious, content, fun loving, having time for my hobbies, non critical of others, non judgmental regular human being."

  Yes, yes, yes!! That was one of the things that impressed me the most with stuck. Everything was blowing up around us, the cong was either ignoring him, or elders were pressuring to "meet", I wasn't sure which way was up, but I couldn't help but notice that he was so much happier, less stressed, more relaxed and easy-going and I wasn't the only one to notice the improvement. He allowed me to question him and he didn't judge my responses (even though some of these, I'm ashamed to say now, were very in-JW speak) - he didn't react emotionally to that, he let me say what I needed to and listened as I processed where he was now up to.

  I'm an all or nothing kinda girl. So when I was a JW I was all-the-way-JW. I can well understand why Stuck didn't share his doubts and questions with me when he first started having them - I was still too-in. But he showed incredible patience with me, and he allowed me the time I needed to stop feeling guilty as my meeting attendance started to drop. He created an environment at home that was entirely judgement free which subtly let me relax! And not always be on! These things helped tremendously.

  I hope that these thoughts and comments help someone else in a similar situation. Just keep showing unconditional love (a bit of a foreign concept for JWs) and be consistent in listening to your loved one, allow them to express themselves and support them as they process and think it all through. I sincerely hope that your efforts result in freeing others from JW bondage.

  Love and light to all. Mwah!

  Unstuck
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  19

  Jerusalem's destruction.....

  by Unstuck in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  hello all - so me and stuckinarut2 are at the state library proving to ourselves that wt has it all wrong re: 607. i've read at length jwfacts, jwsurvey and crisis of conscience that all go into the subject and i've just downloaded gentile times reconsidered.. while it is fabulous to have someone else compile all the research and evidence for you, it is quite another to see it in print for yourself - and so, here we are.. while we wait for our array of books i couldn't help but share with you how the state library has catalogued jewish history - 586 bc to 70 ad.

  no mention of 607 as a key date as far as the library's catalogue is concerned!!

  evidence before we have our books!!.

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• 

  Unstuck

  Hello all - so me and Stuckinarut2 are at the State Library proving to ourselves that WT has it all wrong re: 607. I've read at length JWfacts, JWsurvey and Crisis of Conscience that all go into the subject and I've just downloaded Gentile Times Reconsidered.

  While it is fabulous to have someone else compile all the research and evidence for you, it is quite another to see it in print for yourself - and so, here we are.

  While we wait for our array of books I couldn't help but share with you how the State Library has catalogued Jewish history - 586 BC to 70 AD. No mention of 607 as a key date as far as the library's catalogue is concerned!! Evidence before we have our books!!

  And so tumbles down the whole foundation of WT doctrine....(1914 wrong / 1919 wrong / FD slave chosen wrong etc etc)
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  11

  You're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you....

  by kpop in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  nicely sums up most of the population.... https://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe.

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  Unstuck

  Wow - I love the oatmeal. It's always hysterical and gets to the heart of whatever topic.

  I hadn't seen this one before and I hadn't known cognitive dissonance by another name: the backfire effect.

  What a fantastic strip, really enjoyed.

  Thanks for sharing kpop.
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  10

  Jehovah's Witnesses: DO THEY FACE REALITY

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  article

  1.the organization itself denies access to reality and substitutes its own version, interpretations, and meanings.

  a.only watchtower approved publications are allowed.

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  Unstuck

  Brilliantly written Terry - and well worth wading through despite the lack of formatting (don't you hate that when it happens!)

  You have crystallized beautifully the thoughts tumbling around in my head recently. Yesterday, I had a long talk with a very active JW whom I had lived with in my much younger days. We had pioneered together and she had just heard along the JW grapevine that I was no longer attending meetings.

  I had a very careful conversation with her (as I'm not d'Ad or d'Fd but feel the vultures circling) and I kept coming up against a lot of what you list above. To her credit, she listened, wasn't defensive (how can you be about the ARC for example - what's to defend!) but she was trying to reason with me and find positives about the ORG. I really had to try hard not to laugh when she said: "But the GB have never claimed to be inspired" - and you captured that little gem above too. I just remarked that the language from the GB is contradictory: on one hand: "we're not inspired", on the other hand: "we are the F&D slave and we provide food at the proper time from Christ and Jehovah" - I told her that you can't have it both ways, you can't claim to be God's channel for spiritual food and yet not be inspired. She didn't have a response.

  Anyway, I won't bore you all with the details but reading through your post reminded me so much of the conversation I had with her. She tried, but she can't actually see where I am coming from as I'm introducing ideas that are not allowed to be considered. It's a wonder she didn't use the A word - although I'm positive she was thinking it.

  Tick, tock, The days are ticking until my game is up, I'm sure. In the meantime, I will continue to act with dignity, poise and grace and to respect those JWs that still bother to speak with me, never forcing my views or trying to tear away the fabric of their indoctrination. I want to be able to hold my head high that no matter what provocation I will not behave in a manner that justifies their twisted opinions (although I'm not naive to think that no matter how admirably I act I won't be branded evil anyway). At least in my own opinion I will have conducted myself with honour and integrity.

  Apologies - I kinda made it about me in the end didn't I! What I really wanted to say was THANK YOU for a very thought-provoking and well constructed post.

  Love and light to all

  Unstuck