Posts by TheRecordCollector

16

Looking for some friends

by nishayd in

i am looking for some people to talk to.

i have no friends and i do know why.

people are very judgmental about the way i look.

TheRecordCollector

Nishayd....

I would like very much to be your friend. First of all, Jesus said "judge RIGHTEOUS judgement". People have NO RIGHT to judge you on the way you look.

I'm looking for friends too. Nishayd, I realize that religion is a personal choice, but, and I say this in love, I recommend that you NOT join the witnesses!

It is a religous cult. It is the ULTIMATE in mind-control. I have a very dear friend...a precious woman, that Watchtower has stolen her mind, her body and her soul.

PLEASE...be VERY careful! It is UNPHATHOMABLE the way They can twist scripture. Like the bible says "they 'WREST' the scriptures" to their own destuction. WREST meaning to twist, to pervert.

Sounds to me like you've had some bad experiences with some religions... Just because someone "says" they are a Christian, doesn't nesessarily mean that they are. I should also tell you, that I personally do not believe in denominations. Get a copy of the King James bible, and study it for yourself. Accept Jesus Christ as your saviour, pray for guidence..he will give it to you, if you'll listen.

I'd like to add my welcome to the site. I'm having some tough times right now myself, the person I told you about who is a witness, I love very dearly. One of the most difficult things a person can ever experience, is to see the person you'd give your life for, be swallowed up by the Jehovahs witness/watchtower cult.
I cry for her. She's precious.

You need UNconditional love & UNconditional friendship...those qualities are unfamiliar to JW's. And TRUE "salvation" "is not of works, lest any man should boast." Salvation cannot be "earned". All you have to do is "repent", and accept Christ.

The other day at work, I asked a JW for the diffinition of a cult...
she quoted to me from C.T. Russell's
"Reasoning from the scriptures"! What a contradiction of interest!
It reminds me of the verse in the bible (KJV),
"They that judge themselves BY themselves are not wise."
Please take note.

Keep in touch.
I wish you the very best.
My email address: [email protected], and my name is Doug

10

I FOUND OUT WHAT I'VE BECOME...I HATE IT!

by TheRecordCollector in

as those of you who are aware of debi and i, we've had some serious problems.. today, i found out, "i" was the problem.

the book "obsessive love" by dr. susan forward, bantam books.

unfortunatly, this book describes me almost to a tee.

TheRecordCollector

Hi TW...

i dont know how to reach out. infact, thats what happened with debi and i. we were co-workers. i invited her out sfter work for coffee or something after work one night, she said no. always no.

infact, here is the letter that sje emailed me initially to break things off.

I have edited it so as to keep her email and other info confiential.

I copied & pasted the letter, and is as follows:

doug...
now you arnt going to like this but im not
going to write to you anymore.
and let me tell you why.
i am one of "jehovahs witnesses" i am very
very very involved in my
religion. i have been a witness since i was 5
yrs old. and i take it very seriously. its my
life. i live and breath my
belief. i would never get involved with anyone
outside of my religion. i go
from door to door teaching the scriptures and
someday when i marry i will go
with my husband in this very important work.
please understand ... and dont take it
personal.
any kindness that you have experienced from
me is what i have for yrs
learned from the bible. i take no credit for my
niceness , i treat everyone
nice, this is how jesus treated everyone when
he was on the earth. that was
our example.

good bye debi

10

I FOUND OUT WHAT I'VE BECOME...I HATE IT!

by TheRecordCollector in

as those of you who are aware of debi and i, we've had some serious problems.. today, i found out, "i" was the problem.

the book "obsessive love" by dr. susan forward, bantam books.

unfortunatly, this book describes me almost to a tee.

TheRecordCollector

Well, this is Saturday, and I had the day off from work. What to do???
I drove 100 miles away to go to flea markets, as I usually do.

I go there to look for records, etc. But I'm sooo tired of that.

I just couldn't get into it. As I went down the streets to different shops, I thought, my God...what am I doing??? Flea markets are so depressing!

People have told me that I was happy as a young child.
But I realized something today. I am SOOOO sick and tired of spending my days off insearch of my past!

I don't need to find my PAST, I need to find my FUTURE!
I need to live for TODAY not YESTERDAY! But where??? How???
I have no friends...none...not one.
When I AM around people, I don't even know how to interact with them. I don't even know what to say.

Yesterday at work, I saw a couple walking toward me, holding hands....
I've never done that. I've never held hands, I've never held a woman, or been held. And I'm 43 years old.

QUESTION:
-What do YOU do when you have a day off?
-What do you do in your spare time?
-If you are fortunate enough to have friends, what do you do?
-What do you talk about?
-Where do you go?

You see, all these thing's are foreign to me. For years, All I've have to keep me company, are my records & stereo.
I'd love to go someplace in the car and actually have someone WITH me to TALK TO! I have no one. ..... I have no one.

Emptyness is the only feeling I know.

I'm not trying to work on anyone's feeling's, but this is me.
This is just me. This is my life.
"Life"...that's a contradiction in terms isn't it?

5

UPDATE: jw & non-jw relationship

by TheRecordCollector in

well today is october 23rd.

about three week's ago, i signed up on jwmatch.com, because angel is sign up there.

i told that to angel.

TheRecordCollector

Please refer to the PERSONAL EXPERIENCES page.....

the post: I FOUND OUT WHAT I HAVE BECOME & I HATE IT!!!!

10

I FOUND OUT WHAT I'VE BECOME...I HATE IT!

by TheRecordCollector in

as those of you who are aware of debi and i, we've had some serious problems.. today, i found out, "i" was the problem.

the book "obsessive love" by dr. susan forward, bantam books.

unfortunatly, this book describes me almost to a tee.

TheRecordCollector

As those of you who are aware of Debi and I, we've had some serious problems.

Today, I found out, "I" was the problem. The book "OBSESSIVE LOVE" by Dr. Susan Forward, Bantam books. Unfortunatly, this book describes me almost to a tee. I am so ashamed.

I never knew what love was...I still don't. What I thought was love was actually some kind of hate from my childhood.

How sad, I'm 43 years old, will be Nov. 26th, and what I THOUGHT was "love", was HATE!!!! My God!!!....My God!!!

I don't know what love is. I don't know how to love. I don't know how to recieve love. I have no friends, male or female.

Debi is "afraid" of me.

I suggest that everyone who reads this thread, get a copy of this book and read it!!! Find it at the library....bookstore...ANYWHERE!!!

What a monster I have become...what a horrible monster.
Doug

5

UPDATE: jw & non-jw relationship

by TheRecordCollector in

well today is october 23rd.

about three week's ago, i signed up on jwmatch.com, because angel is sign up there.

i told that to angel.

TheRecordCollector

youre right butlebee, i do need professional help.
Im not downing the witnesses themselves, Debi is a witness. Most witnesses are good, honest, well meaning people that, in an effort to do what they thought was the "right thing", joined the cult.

i hope debi never reads any of this either...im drinking for the first time in my life...im saying things i normally wouldnt say.

Infact, some of what I said, I edited out.

5

UPDATE: jw & non-jw relationship

by TheRecordCollector in

well today is october 23rd.

about three week's ago, i signed up on jwmatch.com, because angel is sign up there.

i told that to angel.

TheRecordCollector

i guess theres nothing left. i'm going to quit my job. theres no use anymore to even try. my life is over. im going to let my hair and beard grow long and dirty. im not going to bathe. im going to become a full time drunk. they say it helps you to forget...we'll see.

im making up bumper stickers for my car, among them:

(edited)

"DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT "LOVE"....I'LL BLOW YOUR STUPID FUCKING HEAD OFF!!!!

(edited)

i have had it! no more!!!

if it wernt for going to hell, i'd kill myself right now.

well, i'm drinking for the first time in my life...maybe i'll forget there is a God and do it anyway.

i hate life. i hate it. nothing good has ever come from it.

i should have realized years ago, that i had no future. theres just no fucking use.

Debi is a precious woman, but today she called the police on me.

i wish to god i was dead. the past 33 years of my life has been tragedy. i'll be 43 years old next month. why the hell should i stay around for another fucking year of the same old shit.

im saying things and thinking things i havent though or said in 21 years...i dont give a damn anymore. i dont fucking care. to hell with it.

can you believe it? after all this...i still love debi.

i said id never do this, but its all over now, so im going to tell you who "Angel" is...(edited). her nickname is (edited). Some of you probably know her. she's originally from (edited). dont get me wrong, debi is a warm, wonderful woman, but this motherfucking watchtower has destroyed her.

if you have friends or relatives in watchtower...GET THEM OUT AT ALL COST!!!!!!!!

debi was (edited) years old last month. she's been born and raised in the wts.

pray for debi. and pray for me, doug.
infact, just pray for doug and debi.

5

UPDATE: jw & non-jw relationship

by TheRecordCollector in

well today is october 23rd.

about three week's ago, i signed up on jwmatch.com, because angel is sign up there.

i told that to angel.

TheRecordCollector

Well today is october 23rd. About three week's ago, I signed up on jwmatch.com, because Angel is sign up there. Only thing is, I did something really stupid...again! I signed up under a different name, just so I could have some communication with her.

About a week later, I told her that it was actually me. For those of you who DON'T know my real name, it's Doug. Her email reply RANG with hurt.
She said "why Doug?....why?"
Desperation I guess...and stupidity. I cried so hard, but I just couldn't seem to cry hard enough, you know what I mean? I was sitting in my car doing this late at night, in the dark.

I couldn't cry hard enough, so I beat my hand on the stering wheel, the seats, the dash....I had to vent the pain that was in my heart, but even after all of that...it was still there, still as previlant as before. I had hurt Angel.
I had lyed to her, and I had hurt her. It brings tears to my eyes even as I type this.

I was soooo STUPID!!!! Anyway, she thought about it over night, and got all worked up over it, and the next day called me at work. She wasn't mad...she was ANGRY! She said she does not want me in her life.

About a month ago, she called me, we talked and laughed for 2 1/2 hours. My boss told me next time she & I talk on the phone,
"next time I WILL FIRE YOU". I told that to Angel. Told her it was worth it. This time was "next time". She overheard my boss... she LAUGHED, and hung up. I was crushed. I don't hold anything against her...she was just mad, that's all...she still is. But, I love her.

The other day, I was VERY suprised to recieve a letter from Angel's MOTHER! They both think I need "therapy", which I know they're right....and I will be getting it. But Angel didn't know that her mom was writing me. She got my address from one of Angel's daughter's.

Anyway, her mom & I were getting along ok, but suddenly, I don't know how, Angel found out about her mother writing to me, and told her to stop. She has.

Angel says that she doesn't want to even be friends, because I love her, and that she would always be concious of it...does that make any sense???? She told me that she "Cannot accept UNconditional love", like it was something evil!!! My God that hurt!!!!

Today, I had the day off from work. Folk's, I don't mean to sound like a nut or anything, but this has been one of the worst and loneliest days of my life. I bought this computer the other day specifcally to talk to Angel, and now, I have no real use for the thing.
If it wern't for going to hell, I'd kill myself.

I miss Angel. I am so worthless without her.

5