Posts by think41self

22

Silly post: funny UK placenames

by expatbrit in

i'm feeling silly, so here's some of my favourite silly uk place names, courtesy of http://www.jump-around.com/tools/place-names/.

assloss.

balls cross.

think41self

Geez Expat,

You could almost write a story with those whacky names.

Wetwang had a bad case of Balls Cross, most probably caused by the Breasty Haw giving him the Lickey End. So he said "Bitch Craig, this is Nasty...I'll have to travel to Pisser Clough to get this looked at by a Spunkie Bastard".

She said "Fulking Hill, what a load of Assloss. Any Twathats could fix your Great Cockup by a Twatt slap on the Buttock. Go over to Slag Hill, just over Pisshill, and go see old doc Cum Hag Wood. He'll fix you up in no time and I'll be screamin' Mingearraidh all night long again".

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

8

PART TWO. (A Tale Of 2 Witties)

by Englishman in

jw
friends

...........we were stunned, i had never heard a father treat anyone with such a harsh contempt, and my heart went out to the daughter who later visited my then local pub the unicorn to seek me out..... thats right, the 18 year old daughter turned up in my local pub and brought her 20 year old witness brother along with her.

after several pints of ale, he informed me that he was heavily into smoking pot and that he was concerned that he might get df'd if he was caught.

he didn't see why he couldn't enjoy a joint without giving up being a witness, she had just finished watching the movie "shirley valentine", did i know what a clitoris was?.

think41self

Hey wait!

You mean UK Witlesses are allowed to have beards? If they had one here it meant they were spiritually weak, and the other brother would have been "slightly" shunning the bearded one. [8>]

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

7

FAIRY TALE FOR WOMEN OF THE 21ST CENTURY

by BoozeRunner in

i love this one-i know you ladies love it also.. fairy tale for women of the 21st century.

once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.. the frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: .

elegant lady, i was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

think41self

Hey Boozy,

In my best Jim Carrey voice: "I like it alot"

Just think, if it had been a slightly larger critter, she could have been dining on another part of the anatomy.

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

11

I had to do the washing up today

by barry in

jw
friends

adam was walking around the garden of eden feeling very lonely, so god asked adam, 'whats wrong with you?

'' adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

god said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.

think41self

Hahahahaha Prisca,

I was game for it because if Barry or any other man on here wants to take issue with what I said....well, they just might be in for a spanking.

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

11

I had to do the washing up today

by barry in

jw
friends

adam was walking around the garden of eden feeling very lonely, so god asked adam, 'whats wrong with you?

'' adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

god said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.

think41self

Barry,

All I have to say to that is: [8>]

Do some more work around the house once in a while you lazy bum.

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

15

Had a Bad Day.

by Undecided in

jw
friends

you're probably not interested but i'm going to post it anyway.

i was heading for town and got my first speeding ticket in 26 years.

going 51 in a 35 zone.

think41self

Sorry about that Ken,

I have yet to get a speeding ticket! We need an emoticon that shows fingers crossed. But don't let it ruin your weekend.

Somebody...Great to have you back sweetie!

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

26

I still hate.......

by ashitaka in

jw
friends

what things do you guys hate, why, and what do you do about it?.

ashi.

"you ever get lonely?.".

think41self

People who go into the chat room to flirt and talk about sex!!!

I mean, what is it with you people? Aren't any of you getting any?

Every time I go in there, people start talking about spankings, and tying people up...and then someone has to bring up things like whipped cream, then s are introduced. It's disgusting. I'm never going back into that chat room again until someone cleans it up!!!

And these are some of the innocent little emoticons that have been corrupted for their own perverted uses. I am shuddering just thinking about it.....or is that trembling ? Whatever, I hate it, I really do.

I want you all

to stop it right now
.

Tracy, of the Woohoo class, and life is too short to hate!

49

BEAT that Child!

by Farkel in

jw
friends

this is sort of a continuation of threads on dubs and how they are conditioned to discipline their children.

someone questioned whether the society actually encouraged dubs to whup their children.

i only had enough time to dig up a few salient quotes from the wt magazine.

think41self

Yikes Dana,

Thanks for reminding me of that little bit of trivia from our childhood. As I recall, Mom mostly used that switch thing as a scare tactic. I think she might have swatted at our legs with it once or twice, but yes, luckily...we were never beaten with the switch or belt. I cannot even imagine.

Do you remember when we had all four been bad, and Mom would say "Wait til your Dad gets home?" and then he'd line us up for the spankings? If you'll recall, I always got in line first cuz I wanted to get mine over with, and you and John were always fighting over who got last in line. It didn't matter where he got in the line, he always got whupped the hardest. But what the hell, he deserved it, right?

I too spanked my kids when they were younger, I'm talking about a few swats...not an over the knee with a paddle kind of thing. But still, I now wish I hadn't done that. I don't think it's absolutely necessary.

think41self

Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

6